Let's Talk, BOTL and mental health

[joshua]

My mom is bi-polar or whatever they call it these days, so depression kinda runs in the family.

I had some rough times over the years and everyone here has been supportive even when times were rough and I may have acted abnormal.

Lately I have just been busy with work but things have really turned around! Getting fired from my last job was the best thing that happened in a while.

 

[ciggy]

Brent this is very generous of you and it will probably save someone life. You are a great brother indeed!

Brent is good people...One of the best in my book!

When I first got sick about 7 years ago it really hit me hard. After alot of surgeries and almost dying twice I was really down. I felt like I was failing as a father and husband with my wife and kids taking the brunt of things around the house. After my second stint in the hospital I realized I had to do what the docs told me and quit my job and go on disability. I was 41. I went into a big depressive state and hated everything about myself. Not only did I have a great job but I was a person who stayed in shape, loved running, sports, and outside activities. My normal weight was always around 180 and after the disease took effect the drugs, high doses of steroids, and non-activity made me put on 60 pounds. The person I saw in the mirror and still to this day is not the person I was or like. However I was still alive and even though that was the most important thing I still felt like I failed. It took me along time to adjust and I would have serious mood swings with the depression. After about a year I knew I needed to do something and fast. I finely broke down and talked to my doctors and was put on depression meds along with advice for talking to the wife. Long story short since then, I still fight with it from time to time but, it has helped in many, many ways. If I could give any man here advice it would be to not wait. Pride doesn't mean a thing when it can destroy life around you.

 

[bdc30]

Getting fired from my last job was the best thing that happened in a while.

Not saying that I'm in this category at all, but I wonder how many people would be WAY better off if they were suddenly forced out of the job they're in that is just making them downright miserable. I wish the last place I worked would have canned me about 2 years before I finally made the decision to leave. Best decision I ever made.

 

[gui_tarzan]

I can say from very recent experience that it can be a God-send. This very thing happened to me last September and I am happier, calmer and have far less anger than I have in the past several years.

 

[Tnt Cigarguy]

Brent great thread. I hope if anyone needs it they take advantage. Life has its ups and downs and it always helps if you have some people to lean on. I know some of the brothers here have helped in ways that I could never even imagined.

 

[Cigary43]

In all the years I've been on Forums this is probably one of the better posts I've seen that tries to start a dialogue on something that has been around for decades with the male species and it is documented that males are not easy with their innermost feelings. This day and age with movies and TV Shows it makes fun of the males and reduced them to being targets and looking as well as acting stupid. They make commercials that have the Father looking like a complete moron while the Mother and the kids are the driving force behind the Family....the Dad just most of the time...the punchline. I'd sure like to see something that elevates the men and Fathers a bit higher than Madison Ave. tends to portray us. Good thread and post!

 

[Angry Bill]

Family is always there for family. Since we are family, whynot help one another. Great idea Brent.

 

[JLB]

Found out today that a good buddy from high school killed himself last night. Leaving behind an 18 month old boy. At first i was really mad. Still am. But goddamn, that has to be a dark place. To hurt so bad, that you just want to leave, knowing that you'll be hurting everyone around you. The feeling is unimaginable. And I reason with myself, that I can't be mad, because if I, or anyone for that matter, ever felt that way, well then we wouldn't be here either. It sucks. His sister is a wreck, mother unfortunately found him, and his best friend of 20 yrs is hysterical. Not a good situation all around. Just a little bump to this thread, that if you have any feelings remotely close to this, please try to talk someone. Even a stranger. Someone will listen. Shit, I'll listen. Too many people from my class, and above and below me, passing away for preventable reasons. Things can be better. Be easy gents.


-Jared

 

[Herfin' Harg]

Bump for this... Take care of yourself, guys.

 

[Clint]

Wow....Just wow.

Truly honorable, Brent.

 

[YodisMatt]

Brent great thread man and nice to see people willing to be here and help others.

Very cool thread, Brent :thumbsup:

Last year, this place was one of my saving graces through some rough times... and I'll always appreciate that.

It'd be really nice if more people were this openly supportive. I was shocked at the opposite reaction of my university this time last year... there were a number of suicides around campus. A few in the same spot, and I witnessed one of them. Instead of talking with students who saw it, heard about it, were considering the same thing... etc... They told us all to pay for the campus private counseling offered and told us to keep it quiet. They did everything they could to ignore it, and pretend nothing happened.

I don't think people always understand what goes on when you witness a suicide. When I drove for UPS I too was a sole witness on a vet that took his own life, it shakes you up and racks your brain forever. I reported right to my boss on what I had seen and all he could respond with was "Wait son, you saw someone whack themselves?" me "Yes sir and I need to stay and wait for the detectives." his response, "Son tell them you have got to go and get to work you have a route to deliver." Nothing asked on how I was or if I needed anything, Luckily my direct supervisor understood because he had been in my shoes before, so he came out and drove my truck for me and talked to me for a good part of the day.

 

[air2desk]

Brent-God Bless for starting this thread. It is so easy to bottle things up so tightly that you start to isolate yourself, without even knowing it. Reading the posts has been eye opening and has given me a sense of release, connection (with complete strangers!,) and hope in knowing that there are people in this world like you who are there to help. To everyone with struggles, large or small, you are not alone, and that is a wonderful message to hear.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Alwayslit]

Great stuff

 

[javajunkie]

CAN WE STICKIE THIS THREAD?

everyone needs to let it out from time to time. EVERYONE. with all the talk of community and brotherhood on this forum, it is a shame to think that there isn't someone here you can reach out to. there is. there always will be, if this community lives up to its ideals.

i would like to thank brent for starting this, and personally thank him for loaning me a little bit of needed listening time.

also, anyone have any issues with the bottle, feel free to hit me up. not sure if i know enough to advise, but i can listen fairly well, and sometimes that's enough. o)

 

[Treinenwj]

To echo what many others have said, I'm always willing to talk, listen, whatever. I'm not here on BOTL as often as I used to be anymore, but I will get email alerts for any PMs. Or hit me up on FB, Twitter or BBM if you've got any of those. All else failed, B2 can reach me!

 

[kartikji]

nice brent, looking out for your fellow "brothers"

 

[Anthony_Joseph]

Glad this thread is here, any BOTL's active friends if Bill W. and or Jimmy K.?

 

[bdc30]

hmm, can't say i know either of those names - are they from botl?

Just wanted to again say thanks for all the positive feedback on the thread guys, and kudos to java, treinen and everyone else who has shared their experiences and offered to help out our fellow botls. Keep it going fellas!

 

[zama80]

hmm, can't say i know either of those names - are they from botl?

Just wanted to again say thanks for all the positive feedback on the thread guys, and kudos to java, treinen and everyone else who has shared their experiences and offered to help out our fellow botls. Keep it going fellas!

Don't think they are around here Brent. Bill W. was one of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous and Jimmy K. Was a founder of Narcotics Anonymous.

 

[bdc30]

duh, i feel like a knob. sorry, didn't know that reference