Worst Cigar Names and Ugliest Bands

[c.ortiz108]

Inspired by a couple of other threads lately....

Worst names:
My Uzi Weighs a Ton
Opus X Pussy Juice
Diesel (conjures the aroma of rank, poisonous exhaust fumes)
Acid (especially Nasty and Pimp Stick)
Ram Rod
Duck Commander, Sons of Anarchy, and any other TV/movie tie-in (although an Addam's Family "Gomez" would be pretty cool!)

Ugliest bands:
AB Maxx (looks like something you'd buy out of a gas station condom machine in the 80s)
Nub (looks like something you'd buy out of a gas station condom machine in the 90s)
Obsidian White Noise (looks like a giant cigarette)
The Log

 

[ENV]

The Opus Pussy Juice name makes me want one even more. I, for one, look forward to the flavors

 

[Catawbamatt]

Yea Opus X Pussy Juice needs to be removed from this list and placed on BEST cigar names

 

[Wicket]

What a Opus X Pussy Juice? Need to find one of those now

 

[sullen]

Drew estate, Camacho, and Caldwell. .

 

[c.ortiz108]

The Opus Pussy Juice name makes me want one even more. I, for one, look forward to the flavors

Okay, yeah, I admit to having mixed feelings about that one....! On the one hand I would love to try one; on the other hand it's kind of a sick porn/cigar crossover. What next, the Ron Mexico Jism Stick?

What a Opus X Pussy Juice? Need to find one of those now

Just learned about them myself on the Fuentemania thread. Here's the story: halfwheel.com/review-opusx-pussy-juice

 

[sullen]

Also Diesel and Manowar, both have terrible names and bands.

 

[Argus17]

Never had one of these dog turds, but CI's Fighting Cock has to be on the worst name list. Now that I think about it, there's a bunch more, but way too many to list. Hesitant Pirate, Raji's Untimely Demise, and Angry Elf are just a few, and no, I've never smoked any of them.

 

[YodisMatt]

Drew estate, Camacho, and Caldwell. .

So are you saying the company name or all of their products? Because your answer covers a ton of cigars.

 

[StogieNinja]

Worst bands:
-Obsidian
-Ave Maria
-Any of the new Camacho
-La Sirena - good cigar, tacky-as-all-heck band
-Anything by LFD. Just an ugly color scheme with lazy font choice.
-Anything by Alec Bradley
-Anything by Gurkha
-Anything with a non-embossed, glossy image on a thick band, like the CAO stuff last year, Evil Snowman or whatever that was. Just awful.

 

[Bruce T.]

Inspired by a couple of other threads lately....

Ugliest bands:
AB Maxx (looks like something you'd buy out of a gas station condom machine in the 80s)
Nub (looks like something you'd buy out of a gas station condom machine in the 90s)
Obsidian White Noise (looks like a giant cigarette)
The Log

It sounds like someone has a lot of experience with gas station condom machines !
( and for over 2 decades !! )

 

[c.ortiz108]

Never had one of these dog turds, but CI's Fighting Cock has to be on the worst name list. Now that I think about it, there's a bunch more, but way too many to list. Hesitant Pirate, Raji's Untimely Demise, and Angry Elf are just a few, and no, I've never smoked any of them.

I actually like the name Raji's Untimely Demise, even though it does sound like something that will kill you....

 

[Eric_kruger]

I agree on the obsidian bands, they are huge. I like to see the cigar. I don't like anything that is just a small band either though. I have a bunch that I was bombed or picked up that got buried and I'll be darned if I can remember what they are. Wish they all had some small writing that said the size and what it is.

 

[rdomfoto]

...What next, the Ron Mexico Jism Stick?

They already exist - they're called "Macanudo Gold"

 

[sullen]

Drew estate, Camacho, and Caldwell. .

So are you saying the company name or all of their products? Because your answer covers a ton of cigars.

Camacho and Caldwell would be all products for ugly bands.

DE, well not all products, but they have a lot of horrid names, as well as some gaudy tasteless bands/art.

 

[StogieNinja]

Camacho and Caldwell would be all products for ugly bands.

DE, well not all products, but they have a lot of horrid names, as well as some gaudy tasteless bands/art.

Camacho, absolutely, and I don't care much for some of the Caldwell stuff, but I absolutely LOVE the LLTK and Eastern Standard bands.

As far as DE, its such a split. I think the Liga Privada and Undercrown branding is among best in the entire industry. The KFC has actually some cool branding as well, despite the concept sounding horrid (haven't tried one, don't plan to). The Nica Rustica is kinda ugly, the JDN and MUWAT are bad, and the Acid line is downright awful, and the pipe stuff is equally bad.

 

[rdomfoto]

Camacho and Caldwell would be all products for ugly bands.

DE, well not all products, but they have a lot of horrid names, as well as some gaudy tasteless bands/art.

Camacho, absolutely, and I don't care much for some of the Caldwell stuff, but I absolutely LOVE the LLTK and Eastern Standard bands.

As far as DE, its such a split. I think the Liga Privada and Undercrown branding is among best in the entire industry. The KFC has actually some cool branding as well, despite the concept sounding horrid (haven't tried one, don't plan to). The Nica Rustica is kinda ugly, the JDN and MUWAT are bad, and the Acid line is downright awful, and the pipe stuff is equally bad.

I discovered that I actually enjoy the KFC sticks but I also liked the bands and the branding from the moment I saw them.

 

[c.ortiz108]

Agree about the new Camachos for sure. Terrible idea, badly executed. Agree with LFD, too - but love the La Sirena bands! I'm a sucker for ornate, gaudy, antique-looking bands, like FDLA and La Antiguedad. Verdadero is another pretty poor looking band on a great smoke.

It sounds like someone has a lot of experience with gas station condom machines !
( and for over 2 decades !! )

Nah, just an over-active imagination....

 

[ChefBoyRG54]

I second the evil snowman

Disagree with Caldwell as, like stogieninja, think the lltk band is amongst the best out there

 

[erjaq]

Emilio consistently has the worst bands. Almost all of the smokes are delicious, though.

Like, really guys, how long did you work on that?

Also, there's this bit of D&D nonsense:

Also ugly...both of the La Musa sticks, Draig Cayuqero, Suave, etc.