StogieNinja
Derek | BoM June 2014
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to Blue Steel, my new ride.
She's named that both because that Derek rocked that look in Zoolander and this Derek is rockin' this look now... and also because she has bare steel wheels, since none of the the hubcaps will stay on.
She's got a bald tire, which is nice because we have balding in common. Something for us to talk about when we're hanging out and stuff.
Now I know what you're thinking: "But Derek, that's a '96! You've never had such a new car! Can you handle it?"
Don't worry, my friends. She may be the newest car I've ever had, but she has plenty of familiar features! 200k miles? Check. Broken driver's side window? Check. Squealing engine belts? Check. Cracked front turn light? Check. Stereo that turns off randomly? Check! It's almost like I'm back in my Mazda!
She does have some features I've never had before, but she's doing her best to make me feel comfortable with them. For example, she has tinted windows, but just in case I was worried, some of it is peeling off as if to let me know that if it ever makes me uncomfortable, it can come off. Thoughtful, right?
There's also air conditioning, another new feature for me. But it only gets a little cold, not very cold. I assume it's to keep me from freezing in case I try to abuse the new amenity. She's really just protecting me from myself.
Anyways, be kind to her when you see her coming. Well... you'll probably hear her coming before you see her, but you know what I mean.
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