Let's Talk, BOTL and mental health

[zama80]

My name is Toby, by the way.

Hey Toby. This little story is for Geoff and Matthew too. Alcoholics spend a lot of time In their own heads. When I was getting sober, I heard a line that has help me escape that situation. At a meeting someone said. " I spend a lot of time in my own head, and that is not a very good neighborhood. So I try to leave it as quick as possible."
So if you find yourself in that bad neighborhood, remember to get out quick.

 

[Grrrrr609]

Hey Toby. This little story is for Geoff and Matthew too. Alcoholics spend a lot of time In their own heads. When I was getting sober, I heard a line that has help me escape that situation. At a meeting someone said. " I spend a lot of time in my own head, and that is not a very good neighborhood. So I try to leave it as quick as possible."
So if you find yourself in that bad neighborhood, remember to get out quick.

I call it the inner-head-group. The loudest and most obnoxious of them I call Franc.
Fear
Resentment
Anger
Negativity
Chaos

When Franc gets to talking I tell someone.

What I'm saying is, when things get me down, or I'm dwelling on something, or I just feel off, I share it with someone. it lessens the burden. I grew up indendent, had to do everything myself. It's hard to ask for help. But ask I must.

Your doing the right thing Geoff.

 

[skullnbones]

Thanks for the support, Brothers.

 

[sean]

Thanks for the support, Brothers.

Hey G, you know I feel pretty removed most days... apathetic, hollow, distant, and ineffectual. Always kinda figured that was how things were supposed to be.

There was something you wrote that struck a chord with me... thanks for writing that. I think it is time for me to address these feelings with a doctor. Keep me posted on your progress. (In the meantime, do you still have cell number?)

 

[Tobbot]

Since there hasn't been any "action" on this thread for a bit, I have a question... Is this thread about mental health, or is it about how a 12 step program can solve all mental health issues? Because (IMHO) it can't, and here's a for instance...no 12 step program can fix this strange sense of humor I've been afflicted with!

But back to my point...if brothers assume that the only way someone ends up struggling or in a dark place is by drinking or overindulging in their buzz of choice

 

[Tobbot]

....then I think we are completely missing what this thread is about... Once again IMHO

 

[ItsBarbarino]

Since there hasn't been any "action" on this thread for a bit, I have a question... Is this thread about mental health, or is it about how a 12 step program can solve all mental health issues? Because (IMHO) it can't, and here's a for instance...no 12 step program can fix this strange sense of humor I've been afflicted with!

But back to my point...if brothers assume that the only way someone ends up struggling or in a dark place is by drinking or overindulging in their buzz of choice

I don't think anyone insinuated that 12 step can solve all mental health issues, or that the only way people end up struggling is drinking and drugging. This thread (as I understand it) is about opening a line of communication and putting a couple of really important points out there:

- It's okay to talk about your feelings.
- You're usually not alone.
- Someone here might have some feedback that may resonate, or just make it not seem so bad (for lack of a better term.)

Whether it comes from therapy, 12 step, a psychiatrist, or a plumber is irrelevant. The thread is about talking and providing support.

 

[jfettlol]

I know I'm rather new here and I never opened this thread until now. I must say it is an absolute relief to read some of you're (members) posts. I can relate very closely to many of the battles being fought here. (Depression and drinking mostly) I didn't notice at the time, but since joining this board, I've been able to focus on something other than my shitty thoughts. I'm basically at the beginning stages of cutting back and have been using this forum as an outlet to stay preoccupied. The camaraderie here is astounding. I'd rather not get too much into the details, instead, I'd just like to thank you guys for being there if I need it.

 

[3/5King]

....then I think we are completely missing what this thread is about... Once again IMHO

I know I'm rather new here and I never opened this thread until now. I must say it is an absolute relief to read some of you're (members) posts. I can relate very closely to many of the battles being fought here. (Depression and drinking mostly) I didn't notice at the time, but since joining this board, I've been able to focus on something other than my shitty thoughts. I'm basically at the beginning stages of cutting back and have been using this forum as an outlet to stay preoccupied. The comraderie here is astounding. I'd rather not get too much into the details, instead, I'd just like to thank you guys for being there if I need it.

I too used a new hobby and forum to help walk away from Alcohol.. And the forum I used wasn't anywhere near as amazing and helpful as this one. I'm here for ya brother if in need, I'll pray for you and I can't wait to get to know you. Welcome!

 

[Ducttapegonewild]

Just a small bump for the Christmas Holiday...

 

[javajunkie]

I don't think anyone insinuated that 12 step can solve all mental health issues, or that the only way people end up struggling is drinking and drugging. This thread (as I understand it) is about opening a line of communication and putting a couple of really important points out there:

- It's okay to talk about your feelings.
- You're usually not alone.
- Someone here might have some feedback that may resonate, or just make it not seem so bad (for lack of a better term.)

Whether it comes from therapy, 12 step, a psychiatrist, or a plumber is irrelevant. The thread is about talking and providing support.

THANK YOU, this is spot on. this can be, but is not solely about, addictive behavior. this thread is more a safe place for people to admit that, right now, they are NOT OK. sometimes you just get to actually say it out loud in safety, sometimes you get to connect with someone who directly understands. but this thread was INTENDED to be, IS, and WILL BE, a safe haven for anyone who needs it. men especially, for some reason, we bury our issues until it poisons us, it seems to be a cultural norm, which is why brent opened the doors here in the first place.

on point, i would like to THANK all of the guys who have been blowing up my phone the last month and a half. work issues and seasonal depression, on top of my alcohol issues, have had me low, and something as simple as a quick "hey, whassup?" was enough to help me get current mentally, so i could get current physically and fiscally.

 

[3/5King]

Bump for the new year. Hope everyone is doing well in 2015, if not and something is bothering you, tell us what's on your mind. #BOTL-Talk #Wecandothistogether

 

[mwlabel]

I'm rather disappointed to be posting here, considering just a couple weeks ago I was posting in the "today is a good day thread" chirping about how perfect life is.

I've hit a bit of a roadblock. While the problem in and of itself really sucks, the concerning part is how quickly and easily I was entirely unravelled by it: no sleep, no eating, needing to escape a room to go lose my shit in private. It's pretty clearly a sign of some underlying, significant problem - which is borderline comical to me since I'm typically hyper-self-aware, but c'est la vie.

I'd like to say I'm going to see somebody about it, but that would certainly be a lie. My "person" up here was a terrible experience and made things a lot worse (in an entirely unrelated endeavor). I simply talk about it when I can, with what I can. I think the whole point of me posting it here is just to get some words out for my sake and to acknowledge it - even in a trivial manner. I also think I catch myself trying to play the martyr, so there's a good chance this plays right into it.

 

[3/5King]

I'm rather disappointed to be posting here, considering just a couple weeks ago I was posting in the "today is a good day thread" chirping about how perfect life is.

I've hit a bit of a roadblock. While the problem in and of itself really sucks, the concerning part is how quickly and easily I was entirely unravelled by it: no sleep, no eating, needing to escape a room to go lose my shit in private. It's pretty clearly a sign of some underlying, significant problem - which is borderline comical to me since I'm typically hyper-self-aware, but c'est la vie.

I'd like to say I'm going to see somebody about it, but that would certainly be a lie. My "person" up here was a terrible experience and made things a lot worse (in an entirely unrelated endeavor). I simply talk about it when I can, with what I can. I think the whole point of me posting it here is just to get some words out for my sake and to acknowledge it - even in a trivial manner. I also think I catch myself trying to play the martyr, so there's a good chance this plays right into it.

You are not alone. Keep talking about it, doesn't have to be professional either.. Keep working through it. If you're not going to see someone about it, the best thing to do still, Is talk about it. Let us know what you need, if it's just a silent ear, then we can provide it. We hear you brother! Don't let it keep you down, you are alive and have people that care about you, that is a blessing and sometimes all you need.

 

[Ducttapegonewild]

I'm rather disappointed to be posting here, considering just a couple weeks ago I was posting in the "today is a good day thread" chirping about how perfect life is.

I've hit a bit of a roadblock. While the problem in and of itself really sucks, the concerning part is how quickly and easily I was entirely unravelled by it: no sleep, no eating, needing to escape a room to go lose my shit in private. It's pretty clearly a sign of some underlying, significant problem - which is borderline comical to me since I'm typically hyper-self-aware, but c'est la vie.

I'd like to say I'm going to see somebody about it, but that would certainly be a lie. My "person" up here was a terrible experience and made things a lot worse (in an entirely unrelated endeavor). I simply talk about it when I can, with what I can. I think the whole point of me posting it here is just to get some words out for my sake and to acknowledge it - even in a trivial manner. I also think I catch myself trying to play the martyr, so there's a good chance this plays right into it.

We are here for you brother, but I'd like to try and persuade you to give a professional another shot. If you go to a restaurant and have a bad experience there, are you going to swear off eating? I know it's not that extreme, but, while all of us here can offer a sympathetic ear, I know, from personal experience, that sometimes, it isn't enough. Regardless, as someone who has recently gone through some major changes in my life, and not all for the better, if you need to, call me, email me, text me, send smoke signals, morse code, even snail mail... I'm here for you...

 

[Ducttapegonewild]

One other thing... Get a journal and write your thoughts down... You can keep them or throw them away, just write them down...

 

[bdc30]

Bumping this thread for Bell Let's Talk Day again here in Canada. The sponsors are donating 5c each time a tweet with the hashtag #BellLetsTalk is used today so get on the twitter machine and do your part, and keep supporting each other brothers.

 

[EO80]

I have been sitting here for the better part of 2 hours reading this thread. I must say I can not believe how great you guys are. I am not going through anything bad at the moment but I can honestly say I have been just about anywhere somebody does not want to be.
I grew up in a very poor divorced family. My father is a recovering alcoholic. My mother and step father did whatever they could to give us a normal life. We moved constantly growing up (thats how I ended up in Missouri from California).
I battled severe depression in high school and never told a soul. I wrote in a journal and used music to pull me through.
Went through probably the roughest point in my life 7 years ago. We had just bought a house, had a 2 yr old son and found out my wife was cheating on me. Claimed it was because I worked evenings and was not home. Quit my job for a day job I hated to be home at night and went to counseling to make it work. A year later found out it was still going on. All my family lives in CA and here I am stuck by myself 2000 miles away. I moved in with a friends parents until I could get the money to get a place to live. In the process of getting divorced I lost my job making 46k a year and was denied unemployment. I rolled through temp jobs in factories like I was channel surfing just to make ends meet. I finally put my pride aside and took two part time jobs working 60-70 hours a week in hopes of getting on full time.
At this time I reconnected with a friend from my past who was going through her own crap in CA. We worked through everything together and she eventually moved out here to be with me. Much to her parents disapproval. Went through the whole dis owned by her family thing for two years even after we were married. But last year they got over it.
I have since gotten back the job I quit for the ex am married to a crazy-supportive woman I love and see my son as often as possible. We are getting back on our feet slowly but surely.
The moral of this long drawn out story is two fold...
1. No matter what you are going through, if you need me I am here and more than willing to help.
2. Its been years since all this went down and every time I talk about it I still get a little more relief.

 

[Mr.Draned]

I've read this thread a few times and really appreciate the openness of my fellow BOTL.
Like many others on here, I had a rough go at it in life for many years. Divorced parents, biological dad was a dope dealer who took us on deals/made us lookouts/ etc., no child support to our Mom so we lived in poverty, watched someone try taking my Mom's life in our apt., more poverty, living in relatives homes, moving around, and you all know how it goes. My Mom got remarried, and my Dad now is the man that saved our lives.
Naturally though, partying until I was completely blotto became the method by which I dealt with the pain, and I guess depression, that I faced every day. This began in high school, carried on into the Marine Corps, college, and lasted all the way into my 30's. Alcohol and drugs seemed to help. Mix in a fist fight and it's a great night. Well, several arrests, having friends turn their backs on me, losing friends to OD's and stuff, and waking up from a coma still didn't help me straighten out.
So I left PA for the west coast, ended up in OR, then CO. I figured my life expectancy was dwindling every day I stuck around PA; every time I ate too many pills or killed a bottle of liquor or case of beer, each time I blacked out and woke up in some strange house/bed/backyard/town, and every fight I picked was just another shovel full of dirt being cleared from my soon to be grave.
It worked. The drugs slowed down, the drinking wasn't so problematic, and I felt ok for the first time in a while. During that time, I met the woman who is my wife. She helped me get a grip like no other. It was great. I could have some drinks, have fun, and only get into trouble once in a while.
Well, I had too much to drink on July 14, 2012 and got into a crazy fight with my wife. Not cool, and I had to really evaluate my options.
Keep drinking, probably lose my wife at some point.
Stop drinking, keep my wife and probably extend my life by about 30 years.
So, that was the last drink that I ever had, and I don't intend on ever returning. It was hard. Real hard. At times I felt it was harder than becoming a Marine. But I did it, and man do I feel better.
The depression and extreme rage have subsided, and I'm actually getting some professional help on how to cope with those issues. The booze is forever gone. I haven't been in a fight since then, and have no desire to ever do so again. I don't feel so lazy and bogged down. And my relationship is much stronger!
I'm also finding that smoking a cigar at the B&M has replaced any desire to hit a bar, and is actually way more enjoyable.
Sorry for being so long winded, but just letting you guys know I've been there as well.
I'm down to talk with anyone about my issues in the past, or your current or past issues as well.
Just let me know!

 

[EO80]

Its amazing how resilient we can be. Good for you brother!