I wrote the following a few months ago and posted it on Facebook after watching some lazy dumbass put an empty shopping cart in a spot that I was turning into so she could get into hers. She looked right at me as she did it too. I noticed I beat her out of the parking lot...I wonder if she saw the present my shopping cart left on her rear fender.
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I got inspired to create a short list of rules for the use of shopping carts based on my latest episode with some dumbass that was too lazy to return her shopping cart to the EMPTY coral that was TEN FEET away from her and instead left it in the middle of a parking spot.
1) When using a shopping cart in the store and it's busy, please do not stop dead in the middle of the isle so others can't get by. Pull off to the side if you have to stop. Failure to do so may result in your cart getting moved. Finding it again is up to you.
2) Don't stop dead in front of an end cap if you are not going to buy something from there. People can't see around the corner and if you get hit, it's your own damn fault.
3) If you are buying lots of groceries and require multiple carts, don't let your 5 year old push the 2nd cart...they can't see over it and they walk too damn slow. Fill up the first one, bring it to the courtesy counter and let them know. They usualy will let you park it beween 2 registers that are not being used or in another safe place. At that point, go get another cart and continue your shopping.
4) When emptying your cart, EMPTY THE DAMN THING!!! Leaving snot-soaked tissues, half-full cans of soda, your little shit-machine's diaper or other foul, disqusting debris is not acceptable. They're called "garbage cans" for a reason.....USE THEM YOU DISGUSTING PIG!!! The only thing allowed to be left in the cart are: store flyers, sacks of groceries (so I can save money), and your wallet (again, so I can save money). Everything else goes home with you.
5) When done with your shpping cart, return it to the front of the store or to the coral. It's normaly no more than a 30 or 40 foot walk to either of them. Rain is not an excuse....you're already wet from walking to your car, another few drop isn't going to kill you. Even the little dividers that are sometimes present between rows is acceptable (as long as the entire cart will fit) as are the little garden patches. DO NOT leave it in an empty space. The eldery or handicapped are expempt from this rule.
6) If you are going to leave it in the parking spots, at the very least put it in the intersection where the 4 sports meet. The store even drew nice little lines on the ground so that you can tell if it's centered and not interefering with traffic. Is this too much to ask?
7) If you get out of the car to move a cart that was left by a lazy asshole, don't be a lazy asshole yourself and move it over to the next spot. If that's the spot I'm intendng to park in and you block it making me find another spot, you will come out to find your car either dinged from said shopping cart or completely surrounded and walled in by every spare shopping cart I can find. I will be nearby in my car filiming your reaction and the video will end up here and on you tube. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!
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