The Bible instructs that husbands are too love their wives as Christ loved the church. The command given to wives is to be submissive to their own husbands as unto God.
My argument is that as a husband, in order to keep God's command, I must love you in spite of everything, whether or not you cook, how you keep yourself, whether or not we have sex... (fortunately for me, none of these are issues). Bottom line, in that God hates divorce, save for infidelity (and the argument could be made that not even that if you consider what Hosea was asked to do in terms of reclaiming his wife from prostitution) and that means that indeed the two become one flesh.
Now in the case of the wife, I argue that she can in her mind replace the husband whom she may find repugnant, with the image of God and therefore be submissive to Him through the vessel of her husband.
It's a tricky proposition, it's just my way of looking at the issue.
-Tony