A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking
for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-comic-strip-
type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes from the managers
we work for in corporate America, circa 2004:
As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building
using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and
employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the winning
quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)
What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might
encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)
E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be
used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat
Company)
This project is so important we can't let things that are more
important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel
Service)
Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." (Plant
Manager, Delco Corporation)
No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been
working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let
you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota
Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I
told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss
work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change
her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping
executive, FTD Florists)
We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going
to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines
Division
for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-comic-strip-
type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes from the managers
we work for in corporate America, circa 2004:
As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building
using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and
employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the winning
quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)
What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might
encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)
E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be
used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat
Company)
This project is so important we can't let things that are more
important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel
Service)
Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." (Plant
Manager, Delco Corporation)
No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been
working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let
you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota
Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."
(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I
told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss
work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change
her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping
executive, FTD Florists)
We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going
to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines
Division
