Marriage words of advice.

[ndn384]

So I am getting married on 5/22/10 that is 2 days away and my buddy sent me an email with some funny quotes about marriage and was wondering if anyone else had any advise. Funny or serious. I did already get the advice, "Don't do it!" so lets not include that one.....lol

Anyways if anyone has any advice Let me know.



Here are the Funny Quotes about Marriage that I received.

"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence." - Oscar Wilde.

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Rodney Dangerfield.

"By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates.

"The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly." - Peter De Vries.

"A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished." - Zsa Zsa Gabor.

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets." - Ogden Nash.

"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk." - Rita Rudner.

"In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues." - Helen Rowland.

"A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year." - Paul Sweeney.

"An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow." - Author Unknown.

"Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock." - Anonymous.

"An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow." - Anonymous.

"Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it." - Josh Billings.

 

[SkinsFanLarry]

Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.

The Bible - Ruth 1. 16-17

 

[tedski]

Get used to saying "Yes, dear" ...

 

[SmokeProper]

Happy wife equals happy life.

 

[SmokeProper]

Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.

The Bible - Ruth 1. 16-17

Great!!!

 

[ndn384]

Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.

The Bible - Ruth 1. 16-17

Thanks Larry that's a great one. Maybe I could have that one added to the ceremony on Saturday.

 

[Cigary43]

Start losing your hearing now...you'll understand and thank me later!

 

[ciggy]

Comidian Ralphie May said it best...
Guys, you can either be happy or you can be right in a relationship, you cant be both!!lol...and man if that aint the truth!

 

[bmony]

Run away...Run as fast as you can!!!

 

[ndn384]

Run away...Run as fast as you can!!!

haha...I am not that fast.

 

[Boppa-Wasch]

When Elaine and I got married, my Sister and Brother-in-law gave us a wall plaque the read:

"Marriage is a mutual misunderstanding"

It hung in the garage for about five years when I realized that it was a true statement.

For the first few years!

I thought about it for a minute and changed it to read:

"Marriage is a mutual understanding"

They gave it to us as a "funny", there's allot of truth to it......

 

[smokinghole]

Get yourself a documented hearing disability and a history of forgetfulness. That helps out in the defense department a lot. Also I highly advise making as many transactions in cash as possible that she might not be fond of like buying cigars possibly. Cash doesn't show up on the account status as the name of a cigar shop. Ooh and if she's hard headed you can only do the "I told ya so" thing after she makes a decision basically for the both of you. For instance I wanted a house with a basement. My wife and I bought a house with out a basement because she wanted something "move in ready" and now she wishes we had a basement. GO FIGURE!

 

[Soundwave13]

Best marriage advise I've recieved is: "I'd rather be happy than right."

 

[Boppa-Wasch]

When Elaine and I got married, my Sister and Brother-in-law gave us a wall plaque the read:

"Marriage is a mutual misunderstanding"

It hung in the garage for about five years when I realized that it was a true statement.

For the first few years!

I thought about it for a minute and changed it to read:

"Marriage is a mutual understanding"

They gave it to us as a "funny", there's allot of truth to it......

Oh, almost forgot.........it still hangs in the garage.........

 

[srduggins]

Marriage isn't a 50/50 proposition. It takes 100% on both sides to work. (Or at least close to 100% - what do you expect for 2-cent wisdom).

 

[jjon90]

"Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart."

 

[Padron_26_64_4_Me]

Remember the two ways to love your wife: as Christ loved the church and as yourself, for she is bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh.

Take the time to study her and to know her at every level. Don't give her love, give her intimacy (or...in to me see) be transparent and honest.

Lastly, she is looking for security whilst your objective is respect. Error on the side of protecting her.

 

[ndn384]

Thanks for the advice everyone. Its just a couple hours away. It's amazing all the things that you have to plan for an eight hour event....haha

 

[dpricenator]

My grandfather told me this the day before I got married.

A marriage is like a Ferrari. Not it that it is a beautiful Italian sports car, but in that it also needs to be serviced to continue running well. A Ferrari will be a fun ride for a while, but without an oil change every 1500 miles and constant tuning, and care it will quickly turn into a pretty piece of junk in the garage.

A marriage also requires constant tuning, maintenance, and care. Without that constant care you marriage will turn to junk just as fast as the Ferrari.

Just talk about it, whatever it is…just talk about it.

Don’t make decisions while you are angry. ( been there done that)
Don’t say something you might not mean, because once it is said, it cannot be un-said ( been there done that)


If you are wrong...aplologize
If you are right...apologize immeadiatly
I really wish I had a Ferrari

 

[MichaelJ]

Get used to saying "Yes, dear" ...

A few months before our wedding my father in law actually suggested that I get this tattooed on my wrist ^^^^^


Now I know why :hammersma