The missing items disappeared following the festivities last weekend in which many Fuente Opus type cigars were consumed along with copious amounts of alcohol in the form of beer, Opus Wine, and Cognac. Numerous clues were left at the scene of the crime including a number of well slobbered upon and partially smoked Opus cigars and cigar butts. Primary evidence includes the following:
Item One: One pair of very odd wrap around sun glasses.
Note the odd tint similar to those used by officers of the law in areas where they must blend in the the ah well, slightly different crowd such as areas of San Francisco and possibly San Diego. Said glassed were located in the bushes under the bedroom window of the next door neighbor. A well endowed but otherwise 85 year old retired school teacher who said she gave the perp a show but could not grab him fast enough. Said 85 year old woman seemed pleased with the suspects attention.
Note the custom fitted nose guard sometimes used by officers of the law but more often by sweaty beachgoers that consume large amounts of alcoholic beverages causing said glasses to fall into their beer.
We have one suspect. Suspect was last seen alledgedly wandering about the victims garage appearing to be a either a dazed or altered state.
Suspect is known to attach himself to any container that holds beer or beer like substances until said container is empty.
Suspect charateristics include; the need to wear bright yellow shirts, (apparently the only color that goes well with said glasses. The suspect is also know to perform the hokey poky at will and has been seen at various events known as herfs performing said dance.
Warning - approach with caution as suspect is known to grab not only beer but cigars, cigar cutters, lighters and small animals.
A reward for his capture is offered.
Item One: One pair of very odd wrap around sun glasses.
Note the odd tint similar to those used by officers of the law in areas where they must blend in the the ah well, slightly different crowd such as areas of San Francisco and possibly San Diego. Said glassed were located in the bushes under the bedroom window of the next door neighbor. A well endowed but otherwise 85 year old retired school teacher who said she gave the perp a show but could not grab him fast enough. Said 85 year old woman seemed pleased with the suspects attention.
Note the custom fitted nose guard sometimes used by officers of the law but more often by sweaty beachgoers that consume large amounts of alcoholic beverages causing said glasses to fall into their beer.
We have one suspect. Suspect was last seen alledgedly wandering about the victims garage appearing to be a either a dazed or altered state.
Suspect is known to attach himself to any container that holds beer or beer like substances until said container is empty.
Suspect charateristics include; the need to wear bright yellow shirts, (apparently the only color that goes well with said glasses. The suspect is also know to perform the hokey poky at will and has been seen at various events known as herfs performing said dance.
Warning - approach with caution as suspect is known to grab not only beer but cigars, cigar cutters, lighters and small animals.
A reward for his capture is offered.
