A Rochester Hills man has just received the third mysterious package in what appears to be a serial bombing attack. This package, like the others, originated in a different part of the country. U.S. postal investigators arrived, uninvited, to the scene.
On initial examination, the authorities have determined the situation is dire, and have issued an Orange Alert for residents of Oakland County, Rochester Hills in particular seems to be the premier target of the attacks.
Bystanders report the recipient had to verbally wrestle with authorities, and even had to prove he was capable of appropriate disposal of the cylindrical objects bundled inside the package.
The recipient removed a stick from the package and began smelling the stick from head to foot. Thrilled to the point of giddiness at the aroma, he used a device made by Xikar to neatly clip the head off the stick, and another device to ignite the foot of the stick.
Upon noting the stick didnt actually detonate but smoked mightily, and that the recipient seemed to be enjoying himself immensely, authorities left the scene, but not before stating they had a suspect.
This suspect, a known member of the BOTL organization, goes by the handle of Shuckins. It is believed he is the mastermind behind a vast series of similar bombing attacks, and is highly regarded as a master of disaster among the BOTL. It is said that all who have been blown away by his parcels are immediately transported to paradise.
President to address a fearful nation .
Many thanks to Shuckins for his generous bomb!
John
On initial examination, the authorities have determined the situation is dire, and have issued an Orange Alert for residents of Oakland County, Rochester Hills in particular seems to be the premier target of the attacks.
Bystanders report the recipient had to verbally wrestle with authorities, and even had to prove he was capable of appropriate disposal of the cylindrical objects bundled inside the package.
The recipient removed a stick from the package and began smelling the stick from head to foot. Thrilled to the point of giddiness at the aroma, he used a device made by Xikar to neatly clip the head off the stick, and another device to ignite the foot of the stick.
Upon noting the stick didnt actually detonate but smoked mightily, and that the recipient seemed to be enjoying himself immensely, authorities left the scene, but not before stating they had a suspect.
This suspect, a known member of the BOTL organization, goes by the handle of Shuckins. It is believed he is the mastermind behind a vast series of similar bombing attacks, and is highly regarded as a master of disaster among the BOTL. It is said that all who have been blown away by his parcels are immediately transported to paradise.
President to address a fearful nation .
Many thanks to Shuckins for his generous bomb!
John
