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Out of Office Messages for your consideration - i am in the office

caudio51

BoM Nov '05; Mar '06
Rating - 96%
32   1   0
Joined
Mar 24, 2005
Messages
19,935
Location
Jersey


1. I am currently away from my desk, beating my head against the wall. Your message will be replied to once I have reached a level of numbness sufficient to cloud my vision to the point I am able to formulate an appropriate response to your request.

2. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return on May 1st. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received .

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
(The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. I've run away to join a different circus.

9. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Marvin' instead of 'Marcia.'
 

AZsteelman

April 2006 BoM
Rating - 100%
40   0   0
Joined
Dec 23, 2005
Messages
6,094
Location
Phoenix, AZ
I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes
 

ATCDub

Lowly Civil Servant
Rating - 100%
22   0   0
Joined
Nov 5, 2005
Messages
2,465
Location
Atlanta Georgia
"I'm not here. If I have to give instructions on what you're supposed to do next, then you are too stupid to talk to me. Now hang up."
 

caudio51

BoM Nov '05; Mar '06
Rating - 96%
32   1   0
Joined
Mar 24, 2005
Messages
19,935
Location
Jersey
I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes

Nice :thumbsup:
 
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