Well, I guess I need some advice. Or something.

[mwlabel]

Hey guys,

It's been a crazy day so far... and I need something. I don't know if that's advice or what.

Some of you may remember some of my older threads highlighting my sudden "relapse" into depression, and my uphill battle out of it. I'm still doing well, thanks again by the way! But, today... has just been... weird. I don't know. I've run into these speedbumps that seem rather childish, reminding me a lot of "high school drama". Things that seem insignificant.
And yet... they are still gnawing away at me.

Shortest version I can muster:
My long-time (ex)girlfriend left me to attempt to be with one main guy, and a couple other "possibles". My first class of the semester is a 300 person lecture. Not only do I have class with one of the "possibles", but he was assigned to my semester-long working group.

After that, going to my second class... the main guy was leaving the class just before mine.

So I will be seeing them often. And I'm uncomfortable. Confused. I don't know what.

Is it "running away" to ask the professor for a new working group to avoid conflict? Is it bad that I'm still bothered by seeing these people?
So many other questions. My mind is all over the place.

It all seems so stupid to me, since this was all back in October. I've been over it. But being back here, and seeing these people, is driving me insane.

Yeah... I guess that's it. Kinda a pointless thread, but I needed something.

 

[tsimonitis]

As far as the work group goes, if you feel it will interfere with your education then you should ask for a change.

 

[sean]

Yeah, if it is going to mess with your education ask for a switch.

Also remember:

 

[L8A]

Switch switch switch. Who cares what anyone thinks.

 

[cartisdm]

SWITCH.

Do not put yourself through that mess of a headache. Something like that is already going to be on your mind enough as it is. You don't need to be reminded of it every day at class!

 

[scotchNstogie]

My advice to you: Drink Heavily!

Just kidding,
For what it is worth...

Is it bad that I'm still bothered by seeing these people?

Short answer, No, its not bad or wrong that you are bothered by these other people.

You may never get to a point that you are ok seeing the "other guys". Don't let that bother you, don't think that everyone else is able to get over it quickly and become ok with seeing these other dudes. All of this stuff usually takes two things; time and distance. It sounds like you have only had a bit of the time, and not much distance.

Is it "running away" to ask the professor for a new working group to avoid conflict?

Whether it is or isn’t doesn’t matter, what matters is: Are you going to be able to learn and pass the class. IF not, then I agree with the other guys, ask to be reassigned.
Hope that helps.

And don’t over think this stuff, it takes time, and usually someone new, new experiences, new life etc.

What are your plans for spring break? That might be the time to truly put this all behind you!

 

[Dr. Xikar]

Heeeeeell naw, that doesn't seem pointless!

Talk to the professor, explain your situation. Almost everyone has been through it at one point or another, so they'll be understanding. Better to do it now, then wait until a month into the class when you just can't take it! IF it's the start of the class, it's easy to adjust groups. Just be honest and upfront with everyone involved: "Man, it's nothing against you. You seem like a cool guy. But you make me think of her, and I can't deal with that. I wish you the best, but... yeah".

I guess I'm really lucky in that I've always been pragmatic and... frankly callous. When my girlfriend left me, it hurt like a mothafu-, but I got over it fast, and then shit went south (PM me if you want, Alex. We can talk) and that hurt damn bad too. But I got over it. I'm able to move on well. I can try and offer you some advice if you want.

But the answer is: Not running away. Running away would be skipping the class and losing grades. There are THREE HUNDRED people in the class. Switching a group isn't a big deal at all. Do what it takes for you to find happiness, or at least be comfortable.

And seriously, bro, if you have any problems, or just want to talk, hit me up in PM, or text me (330-612-4334), or find me on Facebook (Jeremy Menefee). I'm no stranger to depression (personally and in other people I've worked with [clinical therapy internship]), or bad breakups (again, personally, or helping others)

Don't let it fester in the dark. Talk about it. We can help. Like someone's sig says - BOTL doesn't stand for "Bloggers of the Leaf". We're here for ya.

 

[ChazHollywood]

Request the switch. Just tell the professor you have a personal conflict with the guy that you'd rather not go into. He may just tell you to work through it, but it can't hurt to ask.

If you do get stuck working with the guy, do your best to make it work. It's not his fault, and it won't be the last time in life you need to collaborate with someone you don't like.

-Charles

 

[MReschke0626]

Request the switch. Just tell the professor you have a personal conflict with the guy that you'd rather not go into. He may just tell you to work through it, but it can't hurt to ask.

If you do get stuck working with the guy, do your best to make it work. It's not his fault, and it won't be the last time in life you need to collaborate with someone you don't like.

-Charles

Exactly this, no need to spill your life story and emotions to your professor, they might not/probably don't care (especially with a class of that size, you're a name and a number) if they accommodate you, great.

Be prepared for your professor to seize this as an opportunity to teach you that 2nd life lesson mentioned above. Sometimes you're just going to get stuck working in a difficult situation, suck it up, keep your head down, be the adult and get through it.

 

[AlohaStyle]

Exactly this, no need to spill your life story and emotions to your professor, they might not/probably don't care (especially with a class of that size, you're a name and a number) if they accommodate you, great.

Be prepared for your professor to seize this as an opportunity to teach you that 2nd life lesson mentioned above. Sometimes you're just going to get stuck working in a difficult situation, suck it up, keep your head down, be the adult and get through it.

Exactly... I think most professors would think about the 2nd paragraph. Not saying they wouldn't switch you, but many people work in less than ideal situations that you just have to deal with it.

If I were you, I would go to the professor as stated above. But add to that by saying up front that you know that people have to adapt to less than ideal situations in the workplace and that you will manage the situation if needed, but that you would prefer to switch so you can concentrate on your school work 100% without your personal situation lingering in the back of your mind. That way the professor can think you understand the situation and that not everything is peachy and roses, but will feel compassion and make the change... it's a win-win.

 

[javajunkie]

yup, plus 6? ask for the switch. the rational and mature approach to an emotional conflict of interests like this is to request aid from the professor, citing potential distraction in both parties. in a 300 person class, shuffling two people should be nothing.

and DO NOT bail on the class! DO NOT. none of them are worth it.

 

[Mickeymorris626]

Switch for sure. That's not a fun feeling to have. Especially for an entire semester, while you need to use your brain. Screw that. Just ask for the switch. Praying for you brother.

 

[ciggy]

Switch switch switch. Who cares what anyone thinks.

I add a "Switch" to that!
Take care of your self brother...Don't let it get you down.

 

[mwlabel]

Lol well the initial shock and awe has worn off by now.
Already talked to the professor about the groups, was told I wouldn't be moved. He moved the other guy instead.

Other than that, thanks for the kind words guys. Realized today that it really hasn't been that long, so it's understandable to still feel weird about the situation. Jeremy, you'll probably hear from me sometime in the near future.

 

[Dr. Xikar]

Lol well the initial shock and awe has worn off by now.
Already talked to the professor about the groups, was told I wouldn't be moved. He moved the other guy instead.

Other than that, thanks for the kind words guys. Realized today that it really hasn't been that long, so it's understandable to still feel weird about the situation. Jeremy, you'll probably hear from me sometime in the near future.

Glad to hear he patched things up for you! I'm usually awake from 7am to 3am ish, so any time you want to talk, facebook or text or pm. Just gimme a holler.

Cheers, bro!
Jeremy