I need to get some crap off of my shoulders. Lisa and I bought a house as I have mentioned before on here. The plus of the house is that it has a finished garage for my mancave. The only problem is that now my daughter and her lame f&^cking excuse of a boyfriend and now four granddaughters live in it. I do not see any light at the end of the tunnel for my little haven from my stressful internship. I have been going to school to be a counselor and have been working with veterans with life readjustment. I want to come home drink a beer and smoke a cigar. The sad part is the boyfriend has been helping himself to the kegerator and drinking my bourbon. I am about ready to blow a frickin cork around here. My wife is stressed with this and we just put her father in a assisted living home. I was suppose to walk in my graduation ceremony Thursday but we decided not to go and did not go to my convocation on Friday either. I have learned about self care and it is very important in my field of work. I hate feeling this way and just needed to vent to my brothers thank you for listening.
Just a little stress
- Thread starter BesstR
- Start date
Forgot sorry I have not been on here is sometime been busy and have blown off a lot of people. I need to get my priorities in line school is almost over and i will be able to soon. We will get together soon AZ brothers.
danthebugman
BoM Nov '10
Seems as though there's some disrespect going on. Maybe a little heart to heart with the boyfriend will set things right. If not, I know someone...they work for Tat PCR :thumbsup:.
Dan
Dan
I agree with Dan. Sit him down, share your success and explain that "The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary".
BesstR, sorry to hear about all that, bro. But, it sounds like a good heart to heart with the clan might be a good step to take. You're a counselor, you know that's what needs to take place. Being walked all over isn't the place you want to be, nor should you be in. Stress relief is extremely important, as you know, and after doing what you do for a living all day, it's important to have your "fortress of solitude" to just unwind in.
My job was recently ranked one of the top 5 most stressful jobs. If I don't get a chance to unwind, I start to crack after a while, that's human nature. It's extremely important for those of us that work in stress related jobs to have a lower stress environment to come home to. Have a talk with them, lay things out on the table, communicate how you're feeling about the situation. It might hurt some feelings in the short term, but in the long term you come across some changes that are for the better.
Anyway, this is all entirely the opinion of some dude on a cigar forum, take and leave what you like.
My job was recently ranked one of the top 5 most stressful jobs. If I don't get a chance to unwind, I start to crack after a while, that's human nature. It's extremely important for those of us that work in stress related jobs to have a lower stress environment to come home to. Have a talk with them, lay things out on the table, communicate how you're feeling about the situation. It might hurt some feelings in the short term, but in the long term you come across some changes that are for the better.
Anyway, this is all entirely the opinion of some dude on a cigar forum, take and leave what you like.
Personally I would take Mr. Boyfriend out for a beer one night and have a man to man with him. If that does not work then a family discussion detailing your expectations with a time line. Oh and by the way there is a lot of yard work that needs to be done which would be a good place to start.
ciggy
"TommyBoy"
^^^I agree.
It's hard when it comes to family especially your own children but It's your home and your rules. That's what I tell my kids including my oldest. If they can't respect you or your home it's time they find a new place to squat. It's unfortunate for the grandchildren as it's not there fault but it doesn't give your daughter or boyfriend a right to take advantage of your hospitality.
Bro, sounds like Jr. needs to get shown up quick.
he obviously thinks youre not up to defending your status..
animal kingdom shit 101 - young buck challenges alpha male...
treat it like nothing personal. hes right but youre righter :stretchgr
he obviously thinks youre not up to defending your status..
animal kingdom shit 101 - young buck challenges alpha male...
treat it like nothing personal. hes right but youre righter :stretchgr
Well I'm a college kid that is over a 12 hr drive from home and I stay at school all year long including the summer to take classes and work. In the summer on the weekends it's incredibly boring so I usually drive the 45 minutes north to stay with my Girlfriends family.
They are always happy to see me and always feed me and give me a good bed and what not (and a 7 foot 280 lbs neither of those two things are easy)
That being said I am always the first to offer to clear the table after dinner, I regularly try to mow the lawn while they are out, I drive her little brother around and pick him up from school and what not.
I'm not under the illusion that this offsets the cost and inconvenience of having another person in the house but it's important to show that I am grateful and want to help out and don't just want to be a free loader.
It sounds like the boyfriend doesn't at all appreciate what you are doing for him, or maybe he's too air headed to realize what is being done for him. But something does need to be done.
Her dad doesn't drink but he did one time say something to me about drinking all his Pepsi so I went out and bought him a new 12 pack haha
They are always happy to see me and always feed me and give me a good bed and what not (and a 7 foot 280 lbs neither of those two things are easy)
That being said I am always the first to offer to clear the table after dinner, I regularly try to mow the lawn while they are out, I drive her little brother around and pick him up from school and what not.
I'm not under the illusion that this offsets the cost and inconvenience of having another person in the house but it's important to show that I am grateful and want to help out and don't just want to be a free loader.
It sounds like the boyfriend doesn't at all appreciate what you are doing for him, or maybe he's too air headed to realize what is being done for him. But something does need to be done.
Her dad doesn't drink but he did one time say something to me about drinking all his Pepsi so I went out and bought him a new 12 pack haha
Be well brother, I hope this works out for everyone soon.
7 feet!?:eyequiver
Just have a talk with him, maybe he's settled into what he thinks is a comfortable zone with you. If that doesn't work...maybe treat it as an "eviction" minus court proceedings and what not:
Quit Notice: 5-10 days to correct a problem, after that begin the "eviction" process (Not sure the time period they're given to move out, it varies by state)
The only way it ends is if you confront them about it. The devil is in the details, my advice is don't do it alone cause it sets you up to be the "bad guy". I'm sure your wife is fed up with it as well. I suggest you and your wife sit down and talk with your daughter and boyfriend and explain that things certain things must change in order for them to continue to stay. that way they won't try to play you and your wife against each other. Good luck, hope everything work out for ya.
I wanna know how big this detached garage is that six people are living in it.
Well I did have a talk with the young man. He is now doing yard work and looking harder for a job. He knows his place in the house and that I am the alpha male. My daughter is going back to school to finish her degree now. It has been stressful but it is getting better now. I have been to easy on them I guess trying to be the nice guy. Thanks for the advice and listening to me vent. New news no his mother is coming for a two day visit. That will be interesting to have in the house. Thank god for good whiskey and cigars.
well at least you got a little bit of progress there, good luck with the in-laws!