The Final Countdown has Begun

[skullnbones]

Well Brothers,

It's August 1st, which means my final countdown to August 31st has started. In 31 day I'm going to be getting married to an amazing woman. And while I'm very excited to start this new chapter in my life, it is also very scary as well. She has a 4yr old son who I've been "Dad" to since he was 18mo. old and we've lived together for the past two years, so none of that is really worrying to me. I guess the scary part for me is that I'm signing up to take responsibility for two other peoples lives, not that I don't already but now it will be official. The choices I make and the actions I take will not only affect myself but two other people as well. I think I want what every man wants, to provide the best life he can for his family. And I don't want to let them down.

I'm also doing this to document my mental break downs along the way, hopefully there won't be too many. We're not rich by any means so we're trying to do everything as inexpensive as possible. Which means we're making almost all of our own decorations, flowers, gifts, planning, music, some of the food and drinks, etc. The list seems to go on forever but we're making progress.

This forum has become a part of my daily routine, whether I'm commenting or not, I'm always on here reading something. I've met a lot of great people through this board and I'd like to share this exciting part of my life with them. Thanks for sitting through my little rant and if any of you married BOTL feel like dropping some knowledge on me feel free. I'm always open to good advice.

Cheers,
Geoff

 

[Agentskull]

First off congrats man.

Secondly anyone can father a child, but it takes a real man to be a dad. As long as you do the best you can I have no doubts you will do just fine in providing and caring for your family.

When my fiancee and I get around to our wedding we will be doing it much the same way as you are. Just set reasonable goals and always expect something to go not as planned. No one will know but the two of you so why stress.

Need anything let me know bud.

 

[Griz]

Yep, what agentskull said... Congrats to you and a long happy life as a family.
I must say though, I really smiled when I read your post, the second line in said you were getting "marred" to her.... I hope you meant married sorry, I am not picking, it just stuck me funny.... Rough day at work and need to find a laugh.

 

[sean]

Like Skully said, don't stress on the details on the day... plan all you want, but expect something to go wrong. I got married 4 years ago (anny is coming up next week, on RUPE'S Birthday!), and the wife flipped out about her flowers not being right (the stems were too short - wtf?) at 10am... the wedding was supposed to kick-off at 4... well, the Lady's freak out on the flowers set of a domino effect... wedding didn't start until 5:30, caterer burnt the one of the dishes, photo schedule thrown off... all because of the stem length on one bouquet.

Life lesson learned:

1) Perfection is still unattainable, even on your wedding day.
2) The less variables in the equation, the less likely your sequence is to bomb.
3) Hire a wedding coordinator, if only for the day... or get someone who can bark orders like a drill sergeant to run your show for you.

Also - after the wedding and before the reception - squeeze in 10 minutes into your schedule where you and your new bride can sit alone someplace quietly and reflect on what you just did (place extra focus on that part about committing to each other).

 

[Monsterdg]

Congrats; the wife and I did our wedding on the cheap, married by a justice of the peace in an old church, played our music through an ipod, had a wonderful meal at a local place afterwards. A great time was had by all. Don't forget to stop and smell the roses.

 

[skullnbones]

Yep, what agentskull said... Congrats to you and a long happy life as a family.
I must say though, I really smiled when I read your post, the second line in said you were getting "marred" to her.... I hope you meant married sorry, I am not picking, it just stuck me funny.... Rough day at work and need to find a laugh.

HAHAHA... can't have a wedding without a little scarring. That's what I get for not proof reading

 

[derwood]

Congrats brother!

And...it's been almost 13 years...and I still remember the stress of the month leading up to my wedding. If I had it to do all over again - I'd echo what Skully said above. Don't sweat it as much as possible. We both were a mess before our wedding. The thing is, it still didn't go perfectly. And - everyone still thought it was a good wedding and reception - and had a great time. The important part is the two of you and what you are doing.

Sounds like you are already doing a great job as a Dad. Just keep doing the the best you can - you won't let them down.

Look forward to hearing how things go and let me know if I can help in any way.

 

[Guarantee]

Awesome news!!! My wife and I have been married for 10 years now and although it has been stressful at times, we have continued to love one another. Always remember how you feel right now, a month away from the wedding and I am sure you feel very excited about it. Because being married is hard and sometimes you need that reminder of why you got married in the first place. And you are getting married with the intention of never getting divorced, so don't ever let that be an option.

 

[jmartins]

Congrats brother. Couldn't be happier for you or scared lol I'm getting married May 2014 and my
Bride and I have adopted the font stress cause as long as we are happy no one else matters its our day.

Just roll with it, life has a funny way of working itself out.

JM

 

[jdwaynes1980]

Congrats, and good luck brother!

[video=youtube;9jK-NcRmVcw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jK-NcRmVcw[/video]

 

[skullnbones]

^This! Was exactly what I was thinking when I wrote the title. LOL, love that song.

Thank everyone. This is exactly what I'm talking about, there are some great Brothers on this board! Sean, I'm definitely going to look into a wedding coordinator. I don't want to be herding cats on our wedding day.

 

[sean]

Sean, I'm definitely going to look into a wedding coordinator. I don't want to be herding cats on our wedding day.

Yeah, dude... even if you drop a schedule into the hands of a bossy cousin it is better than trying to do it on your own. I had people coming to me all night asking "what's next?" Totally drained me.

 

[YodisMatt]

Congrats brother!

Being newly married you do think a lot more of the other person (not that you hadn't before) but I understand what you're getting at. I made some pretty big life changing decisions earlier in my life that would not have been to possible had I been married.

Advice for the wedding day is to try and not stress man, I know that sounds hard but in all seriousness its a day to enjoy and goes by so fast. I am a wedding photographer and have seen a good amount of different situations during different couples days. Worst one that I can really think of is when the officiant didn't show up and then was over an hour late! I defused the situation for the family and bit and brought everyones nerves down but damn that was a heck of a day!

Sean, I'm definitely going to look into a wedding coordinator. I don't want to be herding cats on our wedding day.

Yeah, dude... even if you drop a schedule into the hands of a bossy cousin it is better than trying to do it on your own. I had people coming to me all night asking "what's next?" Totally drained me.

Bam Sean nailed that, we didn't have a coordinator but my wife had some friends that wanted to make sure her day went smooth and assisted in any way possible!

Few other things, make a timeline of your day, from getting ready all the way to clean up for those that will and after party. Give these to each vendor you use so they can be on point as well. Another thing to do for your photographer is make a shot list (most I know will ask for this a head of time), this insures no one is missed that you want a formal picture with.

Ok going to hush up now don't wanna over whelm ya haha

 

[SmokinNukie]

Skully said, don't stress on the details on the day...

Life lesson learned:

1) Perfection is still unattainable, even on your wedding day.
2) The less variables in the equation, the less likely your sequence is to bomb.
3) Hire a wedding coordinator, if only for the day... or get someone who can bark orders like a drill sergeant to run your show for you.

Also - after the wedding and before the reception - squeeze in 10 minutes into your schedule where you and your new bride can sit alone someplace quietly and reflect on what you just did (place extra focus on that part about committing to each other).

Congratulations Geoff!

Nice start to a helpful list Sean.

-don't swear the small stuff
-be nice and kind, no matter what. Bad time to lose your temper.
-don't drink too much
-the more expensive a wedding is has NOTHING to do with how special the ceremony of your marriage is or how long it will last.
-smile a lot and laugh if things just don't go perfectly. How bad can it be if she said yes and you two are making an mutually official bond?

There are countless lessons that I've learned from my wedding day.


I'm celebrating 21 years of marriage to my amazing bride and I still get weak in the knees sometimes when we get to see each other after being away from one another. Congrats my brother.

 

[YodisMatt]

Forgot to mention we did a lot of things ourselves which helped on cost. I built our center pieces from pallets, she made flowers from old book pages, we just old beans from Starbucks for free.

 

[MoldMan]

Congratulations Geoff. This right here tells me that even though you may not feel like it, you are ready to go the distance. It sounds like your head and your heart are in the right place.

The choices I make and the actions I take will not only affect myself but two other people as well. I think I want what every man wants, to provide the best life he can for his family. And I don't want to let them down.

I felt the same way when I got married and we'll be going on 18 years. Wouldn't change a thing. Well maybe winning Lotto.

 

[zama80]

Congrats brother, and best wishes. And don't worry, weddings get easier after the first two 😊

 

[UpInSmoke]

Big congrats bro! And lots of good luck wishes

 

[StogieNinja]

Dude, congratulations! If only more men took upon themselves to make that commitment. The stability in that young boy's life brought about by you committing your life to his mother and to him is something that cannot be quantified, not to mention the security your soon-to-be-wife must feel.

What a blessing marriage is! Congratulations again, man.

 

[sean]

Few other things, make a timeline of your day, from getting ready all the way to clean up for those that will and after party. Give these to each vendor you use so they can be on point as well. Another thing to do for your photographer is make a shot list (most I know will ask for this a head of time), this insures no one is missed that you want a formal picture with.

YES! I forgot about this... These are things you really ought to do. I missed a few crucial photos because we didn't make "a list." Kicking myself now...
And Vendors NEED to know that plan... helps so much!