Significant other

[jmodz1]

I apologize if there is already a thread on this. I am curious though, what does your wives/girlfriends think about pipes and cigars? How accepting was she to begin with? I am newly divorced, and getting back into the dating scene I have noticed women are either cigarette smokers (which I hate, I cant stand cigarettes) or they hate all forms of smoking. Seems to be a difficult subject at times. Havent met a female yet that quite understands or supports my love for pipes and cigars. I would like to see what you guys have to say about it.

 

[cgraunke]

Here's one from earlier this year, but I think it's locked down.
If you want to check it out:
http://www.botl.org/community/forums/showthread.php?t=72360

Good luck out there!

My wife is not a fan, BTW, but she tolerates it. More concerned about my long term health than anything else, though, especially with kiddos on the way!

 

[eastcoast paul]

My wife is the same as cgraunke's wife except my kids are 8 and 9.
She quoted a few studies to me on how bad they were for me and i checked them out. I then pointed out they used cigarette data and no cigars were actually used.

 

[Ducttapegonewild]

My wife just isn't a fan of anything. She just wants me to die in an accident so she gets the life insurance money

Seriously...

She doesn't like it for the health issues, but loves it because I love it. She is very supportive of everything I do... I guess I am very lucky in that aspect.

 

[WNYTONY]

Wife is not a huge fan but tolerates it for me. She sees me take a cigar and go for a walk and realizes they are very stress relieving and get me out walking and playing golf more - which overall isn't a bad thing.
She's pretty good at spotting the shipments when they come in and offsetting those with new furniture or jewelry so our bank account doesn't get outta whack !
Kids all grown and gone but now have 3 grandkids and I don't smoke around them at all.

 

[Rupe]

Since the previous thread got locked down, here is a restatement of what I said there.....

Mrs. Rupe is not thrilled about me smoking, mostly over health concerns and the way that I smell afterwards but after 32 years of marriage we have arrived at a point in our relationship where we are able to respect each others differences and realize that we are not going to change each other. As long as I respect her opinion about the way that I smell afterwards and do my best to minimize the impact on her she has gotten to the point that she is able to tolerate my "bad habit".

IMHO the key to a successful marriage is mutual respect and compromise. Basically being sensitive to each other's needs and opinions without sacrificing who we are and what we each love to do. She still lets me know from time to time that she is concerned about the health effects of smoking but I fully understand that she is making these comments out of love and I do not let it bother me in the least. I honestly see this as a statement of her love for me and her desire to have me around for a long time to come.

 

[Griz]

Mama Bear hates the smell of anything, Smells just bother her in general, but she is very supportive of my habit/hobby. At least she never complains when a box from CI arrives and the 2 win-a-dors and shelves were bought. she likes to sit down wind if we are together and I stike up a gar, unless the bugs are real bad, then she moves in closer or tells me to go get one so the bugs let us alone
She is a health nut wannabe and did a lot of looking and is very satisfied that pipes and cigars are no where near as bad for us as cig's.. so shes happy, happy, happy

 

[jmodz1]

Since the previous thread got locked down, here is a restatement of what I said there.....

Mrs. Rupe is not thrilled about me smoking, mostly over health concerns and the way that I smell afterwards but after 32 years of marriage we have arrived at a point in our relationship where we are able to respect each others differences and realize that we are not going to change each other. As long as I respect her opinion about the way that I smell afterwards and do my best to minimize the impact on her she has gotten to the point that she is able to tolerate my "bad habit".

IMHO the key to a successful marriage is mutual respect and compromise. Basically being sensitive to each other's needs and opinions without sacrificing who we are and what we each love to do. She still lets me know from time to time that she is concerned about the health effects of smoking but I fully understand that she is making these comments out of love and I do not let it bother me in the least. I honestly see this as a statement of her love for me and her desire to have me around for a long time to come.

I have only been enjoying cigars about a year now, have been seperated for a year and a half. So my soon to be ex wife and I never had to encounter an issue with me smoking. Maybe Its hypocritical, but I hate cigarette smoke and dont really wish to date anyone who smokes cigarettes. But many women iv talked to refuse to date a man who smokes cigars lol. I put them in two different categories. My affection for cigars is deep seeded already though, as I collect cigar memorabilia and such. Maybe theres a woman out there somewhere who is understanding, I csn only hope lol

 

[ChefBoyRG54]

As with most things I do my wife just throws out gay slurs. I take these as terms of endearment...

 

[danmdevries]

I dunno what wife thinks of it. She was not afraid to voice her disapproval of my cigarette habit when we first started dating, but all I get now is a sarcastic "of course" or "really" when a box comes in or I'm super excited to try a new smoke.

Its been almost 10 years since I've met any resistance to my hobbies. But, im the sole source of income, so that may have some pull.

 

[jsnake]

My wife has her own humidor and is cool. If I spend too much she isn't happy but I try to be good. This weekend she gor me about 8 new boxes of Viaje.

 

[marshall9779]

My wife tolerates it but actually she kind of got me into it because she bought me a cigar for our anniversary 2 years ago. She points out health concerns but that is why I try and limit one or two a week, that she knows about. She went to a Drew Estate dinner with me back in May and she had a good time so I guess she does s little more than tolerate.

 

[Whtwtrman79]

My wife doesn't care for it, but knows I enjoy it so doesn't give me too hard of a time, I pulled some studies and we looked at the risks which are very low and very different than for cigarette smokers, my wife didn't realize I didn't inhale for the first year...... After we had that discussion it has mattered less, though I do use/try to remove the smell.... I was told that listerene worked best

 

[javajunkie]

IMHO the key to a successful marriage is mutual respect and compromise. Basically being sensitive to each other's needs and opinions without sacrificing who we are and what we each love to do. She still lets me know from time to time that she is concerned about the health effects of smoking but I fully understand that she is making these comments out of love and I do not let it bother me in the least. I honestly see this as a statement of her love for me and her desire to have me around for a long time to come.

DAMN well said, sir! and, with an attitude like that, i truly expect to see decades of happiness for the rupes ahead. o)

and, yeah, jojo is NOT thrilled with it. then again, she has seen my respiratory health improve DRASTICALLY since i laid aside cigs, , and knows i keep to our operating budget. and also, after the whole alcoholism thing, she knows i need some perks, be it some milk-fat in the fridge, a smoke session after the day, some kind of treat, and my current fixation on tobacco remains far less self-destructive than prior choices, so she maintains. thus, a balance.

 

[Jfire]

My wife is a smoke Nazi...... She hated the first year or so of me joining here. Constantly complaining about smoke smells or the time dedicated to this board.
After a 40 person Herf at our house from BOTL.
13 people from the board staying here for a weekend at the house over 7 years time.
2 dozen herfs over the last 2 years in my cigar lounge in the basement .
If they know you truly love it. They should be happy for you, as long as it comes from moderation. To the other guys married to "smoke Nazis". Keep your heads up. Anythings possible.....

 

[Ducttapegonewild]

JJ's point brings up another interesting question, I used to play Russian Roulette with a lot of things like drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. My pipe and cigar hobby are less destructive. Therein lies the question. The hobbies/habits you had prior, does the SO like this better or worse than those?

 

[CWS]

IMHO the key to a successful marriage is mutual respect and compromise. Basically being sensitive to each other's needs and opinions without sacrificing who we are and what we each love to do. She still lets me know from time to time that she is concerned about the health effects of smoking but I fully understand that she is making these comments out of love and I do not let it bother me in the least. I honestly see this as a statement of her love for me and her desire to have me around for a long time to come.

DAMN well said, sir! and, with an attitude like that, i truly expect to see decades of happiness for the rupes ahead. o)

and, yeah, jojo is NOT thrilled with it. then again, she has seen my respiratory health improve DRASTICALLY since i laid aside cigs, , and knows i keep to our operating budget. and also, after the whole alcoholism thing, she knows i need some perks, be it some milk-fat in the fridge, a smoke session after the day, some kind of treat, and my current fixation on tobacco remains far less self-destructive than prior choices, so she maintains. thus, a balance.

Yep. That there is my story word for word.

 

[jcolan1]

My wife doesn't really care about my cigar smoking, but does not care for the smell. She understands its something I enjoy, so she doesn't really have a problem with it. That was until I found BOTL. She had never said anything about it until I joined you guys here. Then mentioned how I seem to be buying a lot more cigars as of late, and told me it was weird that I sent cigars to someone I had never met in person lol. She is coming around tho; she was actually excited for me that I won Dave's Musky Fishing contest.

 

[StogieNinja]

Rupe hit it on the head, man.

My wife had initial health concerns, and she hated the way I smelled after being in a lounge. My solution was to ensure I enjoy cigars in moderation, generally about twice a week. It prevents any nicotine addiction and minimizes health risks, keeps my spending in check, and limits the number of nights I smell like an ashtray when I get into bed. In return, she's grateful for my consideration of her, and so she's supportive of my hobby.

It wasn't a case of her "putting her foot down", or me demanding my own way, it was simply a mutual understanding that we both love each other, and so we worked it out. Over the past few years, she's gotten used to the smell, and most of the time is fine with it. She's grown to really enjoy the tobacco smell while I'm smoking, and we have a lot of fun, chummy nights on the patio, me smoking and her knitting, and us just enjoying each other's company.

Communication, consideration, respect, and love. That's what it's all about.

 

[Ga Gator]

I've been with my wife for nearly 22 years. I have smoked cigars for nearly all of those years. Sometimes more sometimes less.

My wife doesn't mind but I always smoke outside, if she is with me I make sure it's not blowing into her face.

I guess like Rupe and Stogieninja I respect her position and I'm as considerate as possible.