herfdog
I am no rocket surgeon
just waiting for the rocket box to hit my country...
the OE15 Dog Rocket Challenge!!!
- Thread starter multi-useless
- Start date
herfdog
I am no rocket surgeon
I will be facing off another Gurkha on Tuesday, but tonight, I was going to wait but I'm a glutton your punishment, well be a Puros Nirvana Churchill, gifted me so graciously by @c.ortiz108
This should be thoroughly painful.
herfdog
I am no rocket surgeon
ROFL that WTF face is awesome!
herfdog
I am no rocket surgeon
the new one seems like he's looking with anticipation.
...
are you waiting the rockets with anticipation?
herfdog
I am no rocket surgeon
those would be good names for the sticks you'll receive in that box pass...
So brothers, I'm at it again. Let's all give @c.ortiz108 a round of applause for providing, or rather subjecting, me to this glorious dog rocket known as Puros Nirvana. A Churchill no less. I thought it must be at least 10 inches long – I guess my eye for measuring things is off, apparently it's only 7...hmm, never mind. Moving on.
I've unwrapped it and its Sumatra wrapper is trying to make me bleed. I know the wrapper is supposed to be toothy, but c'mon, this thing has more tooth than Jaws and more grit than a pissed off John Wayne in Indian territory. At least the aroma of the wrapper is far gentler, it's a cedar mixed with some sweet fruit. Not bad actually.
I'm hesitating. I have to admit I unwrapped this cigar and clipped the cap over 20 minutes ago. I've made several dry draws and while it's very tight my hopes for a plugged cigar (no matter how much I pull) have not come to fruition. 5 more minutes have passed. It's mild. Only the slightest taste of spice on the tongue and almost nothing brought through the draw. Fine, I'll light the darn thing.
It's lit, it's burning and it's (unfortunately) smoking. So far, it's not horrible. It's very mild mannered, medium bodied and providing only a slight bit of pepper and grass. What is it with a grassy taste among cigars of this caliber?
Okay, I'm 20 minutes into this dog's rocket and things have already gone very sour. Literally. What the heck is it with me getting sour, nasty, cigars this week? This thing can't burn evenly – I'm no longer correcting it – and (I'm taking some literary license here) I feel like I'm licking the hind end of a geriatric long haired dog .that lacks the ability to properly squat.
Every time I think of the name, Puros Nirvana, I can't help but be reminded of 'Blood In, Blood Out' and the horrible cholo Spanish they speak throughout the whole movie. No doubt because I couldn't possibly imagine ever wanting to smoke this cigar if I wasn't incarcerated. No, even worse. This cigar reminds me of the scene with the cook and Miklo. If you haven't seen the movie and you're lost at this point, let me clarify. Miklo is one of the main characters of the flick. He's a half chicano with a chip on his shoulder because he's half white. He's young and new in prison and has been drawing all kinds of the best attention, now the cook is a big, fat, hairy, Aryan nation, rapey, vile gay dude and he likes Miklo. He really likes Miklo. Now that I've clarified that for you, that is what I think of when I think of this cigar.
Yes, it's that bad. This cigar makes me want to hurl just as bad as the first time I was subjected to watching a nasty prison rape scene. I feel like I've been violated worse, because nothing has thus been able to clean out my mouth. This cigar is loaded full of creaminess. Unfortunately for me, it's not a good kind of creaminess. It's THAT 'Blood in, Blood Out' kind of creaminess... with chunks, and it doesn't wash away.
I'm done. I couldn't possibly remove this grimace from my face if I tried. Whoever sells these should have their tobacco license revoked. As far as the Dog Rocket Wheel of Flavor. Yes, I just added what you think I added to it. Write it however you will, but if this is only how bad I imagine it tastes, blech. I'm done. F this. I gotta find something else, NOW.
I've unwrapped it and its Sumatra wrapper is trying to make me bleed. I know the wrapper is supposed to be toothy, but c'mon, this thing has more tooth than Jaws and more grit than a pissed off John Wayne in Indian territory. At least the aroma of the wrapper is far gentler, it's a cedar mixed with some sweet fruit. Not bad actually.
I'm hesitating. I have to admit I unwrapped this cigar and clipped the cap over 20 minutes ago. I've made several dry draws and while it's very tight my hopes for a plugged cigar (no matter how much I pull) have not come to fruition. 5 more minutes have passed. It's mild. Only the slightest taste of spice on the tongue and almost nothing brought through the draw. Fine, I'll light the darn thing.
It's lit, it's burning and it's (unfortunately) smoking. So far, it's not horrible. It's very mild mannered, medium bodied and providing only a slight bit of pepper and grass. What is it with a grassy taste among cigars of this caliber?
Okay, I'm 20 minutes into this dog's rocket and things have already gone very sour. Literally. What the heck is it with me getting sour, nasty, cigars this week? This thing can't burn evenly – I'm no longer correcting it – and (I'm taking some literary license here) I feel like I'm licking the hind end of a geriatric long haired dog .that lacks the ability to properly squat.
Every time I think of the name, Puros Nirvana, I can't help but be reminded of 'Blood In, Blood Out' and the horrible cholo Spanish they speak throughout the whole movie. No doubt because I couldn't possibly imagine ever wanting to smoke this cigar if I wasn't incarcerated. No, even worse. This cigar reminds me of the scene with the cook and Miklo. If you haven't seen the movie and you're lost at this point, let me clarify. Miklo is one of the main characters of the flick. He's a half chicano with a chip on his shoulder because he's half white. He's young and new in prison and has been drawing all kinds of the best attention, now the cook is a big, fat, hairy, Aryan nation, rapey, vile gay dude and he likes Miklo. He really likes Miklo. Now that I've clarified that for you, that is what I think of when I think of this cigar.
Yes, it's that bad. This cigar makes me want to hurl just as bad as the first time I was subjected to watching a nasty prison rape scene. I feel like I've been violated worse, because nothing has thus been able to clean out my mouth. This cigar is loaded full of creaminess. Unfortunately for me, it's not a good kind of creaminess. It's THAT 'Blood in, Blood Out' kind of creaminess... with chunks, and it doesn't wash away.
I'm done. I couldn't possibly remove this grimace from my face if I tried. Whoever sells these should have their tobacco license revoked. As far as the Dog Rocket Wheel of Flavor. Yes, I just added what you think I added to it. Write it however you will, but if this is only how bad I imagine it tastes, blech. I'm done. F this. I gotta find something else, NOW.
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SouthernerInSask
© MCMLXI
LMAO! excellen review!
you guys are really taking alot of punishment! i hope the kids appreciate whzt yall are doing for them!
you guys are really taking alot of punishment! i hope the kids appreciate whzt yall are doing for them!
I don't know if it does but it sure felt that way. The flavor was atrocious and lingering like Jay and Silent Bob in front of a Quick Stop.
I chucked the remainder of that Puros Mierda in the yard and immediately lit up a nice Man O' War Virtue. The spice of the Virtue was quick to eradicate the previous vile aftertaste and the smoothness of it calmed me back down, like a good cigar should.
I need to buy a box of these Man O' War's if I'm going to continue these dog rocket reviews, they are the quintessential antidote.
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c.ortiz108
The fly in the ointment.
Thanks for the entertaining review! Maybe it was all that talk of prison rape, but just knowing I supplied this cigar to you makes me feel that we share a... how shall I say...? special connection.
Just to show I'm not a sadist, I'll have another dog rocket review posted later today.
Do you realize that by making this statement you've just argued that 'ass of yak' doesn't belong on the 'unwanted flavor wheel' LOLI'm afraid that one goes on the " unwanted favor wheel ". lol .. not the "Dog Rocket flavor wheel"
Thanks for taking one for the team, though Kooka !!
I'm changing my address. LolThanks for the entertaining review! Maybe it was all that talk of prison rape, but just knowing I supplied this cigar to you makes me feel that we share a... how shall I say...? special connection.
Just to show I'm not a sadist, I'll have another dog rocket review posted later today.
