Blonde Jokes

[CWS]

Three Blonde Hunters

Three blondes walk into a forest and soon find a pair of tracks.

The first blonde says: "I think they're deer tracks."

The second blonde says: "No, I think they're bear tracks."

The third blonde says: "You're both wrong! They're bird tracks!"

Then they get hit by a train.

 

[tobby4]

oldie but a goodie

 

[CWS]

Electronics Shop

There's this blonde who goes into an electronics shop, and asks the guy in there if she can buy this TV. But the guy says Sorry, we dont serve blondes.
So she goes away, dyes her hair brown, and goes back. Sorry, we dont serve blondes, the guy says.
So she goes back and dyes her hair ginger, but he still tells her they dont serve blondes.
Sooooo, she goes back yet again, but dyes her hair black. Again, she asks if she can buy the TV, but yet again, she cant get served.
Look, she says, how can you tell i'm a blonde, even tho i've dyed my hair???

Sorry lady, thats a microwave!!!!

 

[CWS]

A blind man enters a Lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar
stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while the blind guy
yells to the bartender: "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?' A deathly
silence
transcends the bar. In a deep, husky, menacing voice, the woman next to
him
says: "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The
bartender
is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200lb blonde with a
black belt in Karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde
and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a
pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell
that
joke?"
The blind man pauses to think, and says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to
explain it five times."

 

[jwintosh]

a blond is sitting at a bar watching the 6pm news, who's on scene with a suicidal on a bridge. a brunette joins her.... the brunette bets the blonde $50 that the person will jump. the blond takes the bet.... a few minutes later, he jumps! completely surprised, the blond pays the brunette $50. feeling guilty, the brunette tells her that she knew he would jump, because this was a repeat of the 5pm news. the blond insists the brunette take the money, saying, "I know. I watched the 5pm news. I just couldn't believe he would jump again!"

 

[Greg]

Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice?


It said 'concentrate'.

 

[Black Dog]

What did Jesus whisper in the blonde's ear before he ascended to heaven?

































You just play dumb 'til I get back!

 

[jmatkins]

You guys are on a roll, good or bad but on a roll.

 

[jwintosh]

a brunette goes up to a shepard. tells him, "if i can guess exactly how many sheep you care for, can i have my pick?" the shepard tells her that he has other sheep on other hills, and that she could not possibly tell him how many he watched over. again, she layed out the proposition. the shepard accepts, and she shouts, "764!" amazed, the shepard tells her she is right and she can pick out any sheep she wanted. as the lady gathers her pick and heads back to her car, the shepard says, "ma'am, if i guess her correct hair color, can i have my dog back?"

 

[kirscovitch]

why is it hard for blonde's to get a drivers license?

every time the car stops they hop into the back seat!

 

[kirscovitch]

a blonde, brunette, and a red head were all in the doctors office for their first sonograms to find out the sex of their expected babies. the redhead says "im gonna have a boy because i was on the bottom."
the brunette says "im gonna have a girl cause i was on top."
the blonde starts crying hysterically and blurts out... "im gonna have puppies!!!"

 

[CWS]

A blonde by the name of Julie was getting pretty desperate for money.
So she decided to go to the richer part of town and try to get a job as a handywoman.

She rang the doorbell at the first house she came to, and a man answered the door.
She asked if there were any odd jobs she could do, and he replied, "Well, actually, we need the porch painted-how much do you want?" Julie said she felt $50 was fair. He replied, "OK, the ladders, paint, and other tools you need are in the garage."

When the man closed the door, his wife, who had overheard the conversation asked him, "$50?!? Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She must have, she was standing right on it."

About 45 minutes later, the doorbell rings again, and the man is surprised to find Julie there.
She tells him that she's done, and states that she even had enough paint to do two coats.
As the man is reaching into his wallet to pay her, Julie says, "Oh, and by the way, that isn't a Porsche-it's a Ferrari."

:yes:

 

[jwintosh]

A blonde by the name of Julie was getting pretty desperate for money.
So she decided to go to the richer part of town and try to get a job as a handywoman.

She rang the doorbell at the first house she came to, and a man answered the door.
She asked if there were any odd jobs she could do, and he replied, "Well, actually, we need the porch painted-how much do you want?" Julie said she felt $50 was fair. He replied, "OK, the ladders, paint, and other tools you need are in the garage."

When the man closed the door, his wife, who had overheard the conversation asked him, "$50?!? Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She must have, she was standing right on it."

About 45 minutes later, the doorbell rings again, and the man is surprised to find Julie there.
She tells him that she's done, and states that she even had enough paint to do two coats.
As the man is reaching into his wallet to pay her, Julie says, "Oh, and by the way, that isn't a Porsche-it's a Ferrari."

:yes:

funny!!

 

[caudio51]

:rofl:

For some reason blonde jokes never get old

 

[goin' fer smoke]

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf9kX6ujz9w[/YOUTUBE]