This reminds me of a guy that the cops used to drop off at the hospital.
"I don't need a psych eval. I need crack. I had a two for twenty in my sock, but I forgot to wrap it. My two for twenty disappeared and I know Rudy took it. Cause, you know, I laid down, but then I stood up. Maybe Rudy didn't take it. Can you absorb crack through your skin? Imagine if you had crack lotion.
WAIT! You ain't got no crack? Then why am I even here? Give me a shot of that 5 and 2 stuff and I'll sign out. I ain't crazy I just like crack. A lot. Maybe too much? Maybe I need some speed to help me think faster."