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Ponderisms

jmatkins

BoM January 08
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Ponderisms


Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
 

dpricenator

BoM March 08
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I knew the songs were the same form way back. But the others are goood.

here is one more:

Why are they called Apartments, when they are so close together?
 

JRL

Formerly known as Jeeper
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If nothing sticks to Teflon then how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?

If an airplane is going the speed of light and turns on his headlights what happens?

Those are two of my grandpas favorites.
 

Hendy

BoM Oct 08 / BoM Oct 09
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Why is it that when you die your funeral percesion does not have to stop at red lights? What's the hurry, your already gone?
 

bballbaby

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Why is it that when you're looking for somehting it's always in the last place you look?!
 
Rating - 100%
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Why is it that when you're looking for somehting it's always in the last place you look?!
I suppose it wouldn't be too bright to keep looking after I've found it.


Anyone else find themselves hearing Steven Wright's monotone voice while reading these? No idea if any of these are his, but they all could be. Or George Carlin's, I suppose. Funny stuff.

-Dave
 
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