Someone get these MFing snakes out of my MFing backyard

[Electric Sheep]

So this past Saturday morning, right? I looked out the back window while drinking my morning coffee and saw a small grass snake swimming around in my pool, seemingly stuck and unable to get out. I grabbed a stick, fished him out, and tossed him into the woods down towards the creek. No big deal, right?

Well Sunday afternoon, I went out to the backyard fire up the grill and there was a damn 18" long RAT SNAKE slithering down the wall behind the grill. Fuck! I went to go grab a shovel and the bastard slithered down under the deck and got away. Arrrgggg.

So tonight, right? I just walked out into the backyard and over to my garage to smoke a cigar. I popped in the side door, turned on the light, opened the garage door, and caught some movement out of the corner of my eye....AAAAA! Fuck, it's that motherfucking RAT SNAKE sitting about 4 feet away from me on the ground! It was lumpy looking, like it'd just ate a pile of baby rats, or maybe some bird eggs.

I turned to grab a shovel from the other side of the garage, but the bastard slid over to the wall and got behind the shelving unit. Drats, got away again!

Can someone help me out here?

[samueljacksonvoice]

How do I get these motherfuckin' snakes out of my motherfuckin' backyard?

[/samueljacksonvoice]

 

[Patrick B]

Don't. They eat the stuff you really don't want around. You're not scared of a little old snake, are you?

 

[daniyal]

Time to bust out your shotgun.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[Electric Sheep]

Don't. They eat the stuff you really don't want around.

I thought about that. I mean, the skwaking birds that nest in my patio cover (where the snake was coming frmo sunday) piss me off every morning with their incessant chirping. If the snake eats their eggs, that's a good thing in my book. They can go nest in the woods instead of my back deck.

And hey, I do have rats in my garage...but I don't know if it's really gonna eat the rats. It's not nearly big enough to do that (yet).

But still.

Snakes.

Eww.

 

[Electric Sheep]

Time to bust out your shotgun.
Posted via Mobile Device

Thought about that, too...but that's gotta be overkill.

A shovel would work (If I could catch the slithery bastard).

 

[Patrick B]

I thought about that. I mean, the skwaking birds that nest in my patio cover (where the snake was coming frmo sunday) piss me off every morning with their incessant chirping. If the snake eats their eggs, that's a good thing in my book. They can go nest in the woods instead of my back deck.

And hey, I do have rats in my garage...but I don't know if it's really gonna eat the rats. It's not nearly big enough to do that (yet).

But still.

Snakes.

Eww.

Just make sure you put your man pants on before you head out there.

Seriously, once you know they might be there and they don't startle the living crap out of you, it should be a harmonious coexistence. Plus, you can look like the tough guy that isn't afraid of a little snake. Chicks dig that.

 

[Halon]

TYLER

 

[daniyal]

Thought about that, too...but that's gotta be overkill.

A shovel would work (If I could catch the slithery bastard).

TYLER

I like Tyler's suggestion.. using a shovel seems like too much work.

 

[Volusianator]

Nice Tyler!

 

[mcroom]

I have used sulfur in the past to control snakes, especially copper heads in NC. From what I have been told, reptiles do not like sulfur and will not cross it. It is cheap from the hardware and such type stores. I would put it out in a small line by hand around the parameter and never had a problem in the yard (surrounded by lots of woods full of snakes). If you get a heavy rain you will have to put out another line of defense.

 

[cigarguy71]

I hate snakes.

 

[David]

Snakes are good. We live on 6 acres and they keep the mice under control. Ours are about this size. This is last summer...I was removing it from the front yard to the back field using a homemade snare.

 

[smokinghole]

I like Dave's tool the best for snakes. Just keep them around, I'd only worry if a rattlesnake decided to set up shop under your deck.

 

[Ratbert]

Snakes are good...they are nature's pest control. On the AT, the only shelters without mice are the ones with a big ol' well-fed snake up in the rafters.

 

[stogies&hoagies]

Leave them be. The only snakes we kill are poisonous ones. rat and black snakes are welcome.

 

[Moro]

Crikey! Look at the colours on this here beaut. Oh...she mad; it certainly looks like she'd give me some barney if I let her!

 

[smokemifugotem]

Train a falcon! You can carry him on your arm from place to place with a little mask on him! Chicks will dig it too!

 

[Mitch]

keep the snakes, they are very good for your area. If you want them to stay out of your house do a circle of sulfer at the edge, but be careful, you will trap snakes in the circle if they are living under your house.

 

[bballbaby]

Snakes are good. We live on 6 acres and they keep the mice under control. Ours are about this size. This is last summer...I was removing it from the front yard to the back field using a homemade snare.

Whatever you do, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, take off your ipod while snake catching.

I wonder what kind of music one listens to while catching snakes??

 

[smokemifugotem]

Probably some White Snake...sorry...had to say it!