Sh*t Your Dad Says

[danthebugman]

So I've been reading the book Sh*t My Dad Says, it's a very funny book and if you've not had a chance to (or haven't even heard to it) I would heartily recommend it. It got me to thinking about things my dad used to do/say that as I look back on them crack me up some.

One time I remember I was helping my dad "clean" out one of his many sheds. He'd found some old practice softballs in a bucket and I guess I wasn't paying attention and thought it'd be fun to chuck one at me :dunno:. I hear "Heads up." and turn around just in time to have the softball connect with my right eye. "What the hell dad?" "Well, you should have been paying attention...".

Anyone else care to share some stories?

Dan

 

[giantstogie]

one of my father's best phrases is " Don't force it, just get a bigger hammer"

 

[.jacob]

The roots, and still classic: http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

 

[zincalloy]

Regarding graveyards - people are dying to get in there
Worthy of a 51A - wanna see a match burn twice
Let the tool do the work
He called money geetis, a fin or a sawbuck
"what do you want for Christmas?" Polmolive, a watch cap, and a carton of lucky strikes

 

[SkinsFanLarry]

So I've been reading the book Sh*t My Dad Says, it's a very funny book and if you've not had a chance to (or haven't even heard to it) I would heartily recommend it. It got me to thinking about things my dad used to do/say that as I look back on them crack me up some.

One time I remember I was helping my dad "clean" out one of his many sheds. He'd found some old practice softballs in a bucket and I guess I wasn't paying attention and thought it'd be fun to chuck one at me :dunno:. I hear "Heads up." and turn around just in time to have the softball connect with my right eye. "What the hell dad?" "Well, you should have been paying attention...".

Anyone else care to share some stories?

Dan

Dan, that's the William Shatner book, isn't it?

 

[.jacob]

Nope, not William Shatner.

[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Sh-t-My-Dad-Says/dp/0061992704/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1284699582&sr=8-1"]Amazon.com: Sh*t My Dad Says (9780061992704): Justin Halpern: Books@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41VfGd1TaOL.@@AMEPARAM@@41VfGd1TaOL[/ame]

 

[Baldanders]

Dan, that's the William Shatner book, isn't it?

William Shatner plays the dad in the new TV show based on the book/twitter feed.

 

[.jacob]

Ah, didn't know that and not sure how I feel about it, ha!

 

[mcroom]

Some of the things my dad would say:
"Good morning" no matter the time of day
"A hundred years from now, you won't know the difference"
He ruined the axle (really bent it) on a small U Haul trailer one time by putting two pallets of sugar on it that he needed at the store. It was a good thing he took a little insurance out on the thing. I don't think the guy would ever rent him another.

 

[Pietastervw]

my favorite was "I'll give you something to cry about"

 

[smokinghole]

My dad used to and still says "well if that person isn't high/gay/drunk/crazy (variety of other adjectives) he's missing a real good chance".

 

[iCraig]

"I brought you into this world and so help me god I can take you out of it." That was a regular favorite growing up. I wasn't the best kid... lol.

 

[PLUSH]

shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which fills up first.

 

[BesstR]

shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which fills up first.

x2

He would also use the I will give you something to cry about. Wait until I tell your mother what you did. I will have one more beer then we will go.

 

[iCraig]

shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which fills up first.

Yup. Got a variant of this. Want in one hand and shit in the other and see which gets filled first.

 

[PLUSH]

Yup. Got a variant of this. Want in one hand and shit in the other and see which gets filled first.

well, it was really wish, but we know what it really meant.

 

[Jet-Rod]

There were times when my Dad and I didn't see eye to eye and I knew it was time to shut up when he would say. " I'm about to stomp a mud hole in your ass and kick it dry"

 

[iCraig]

well, it was really wish, but we know what it really meant.

Indeed, indeed.

 

[Hendy]

Mine would always meet me at the front door and say "your eyes are pretty red there son".

 

[Jfire]

"If your feeling froggy leap son."