A question for BOTL's with young children

[SailorAg]

When I was but a wee child, no more than six years of age, my father's boss provided tickets for our family to attend the Montpellier Races with him at what I assume to be the hoity toity horse racing equivalent to tailgating. The company executives brought out some cigars and my Dad joined them in burning a stick.

I was very young and probably fresh off of some anti-drug/smoking crap at school. I saw my dad puffing on that cigar and I started bawling. "Mom! Dad is going to die! He's smoking!" My mother was just trying to get me out of earshot fearing that I would embarrass my father in front of all the top execs.

On the way home, I was still very upset and I honestly feared that my father could spontaneously die at any moment, because tobacco. I got a very good lesson on use vs abuse, what it means to treat yourself to something enjoyable among family/friends, and that I can't always believe what I'm taught in school. My parents regularly drank in front of my sister and I. I never once saw them drink to excess.

Now, over twenty years later, I've become a cigar/pipe geek. I smoke and drink responsibly. My father still enjoys the occasional cigar, but only enjoys smoking with me. Oh, and I provide the stick.

I think it's important that kids learn what it means to exercise restraint and moderation. It will serve them in all aspects of life. Too much of anything can be a terrible thing (including indulging your emotions). Also, there's a time/place for certain things.

 

[EO80]

I may catch hell for this but this is just individual opinions being expressed..
My father was an alcoholic and from the age where I can remember he never drank in front of me. Smoked cigarettes like a freight train in closed window cars while I was young. Did any of this effect me... no. What effected me was that he would leave me home alone to go the bar every night on weekends I visited.
My mother came from a Hungarian family where it was common practice that everyone have a "drink" with a meal. While she did not bring this practice to my childhood she did allow the occasional taste of a drink. Just to know what it was. It was never ok for me to drink but was allowed on special occasions to have a sip or two. My stepfather smoked weed. In the house with me present. I went with him to buy weed on several occasions when I was a preteen. I have never partaken as I have seen the effects and was taught that it was not a good thing by the very man that could not stop smoking.
Fast forward a little to age 16. I wanted to go to a new years party at a friends house that my mother (through being a good parent) already knew there would be no adult supervision and alcohol. She instead gave me the opportunity to drink in a supervised environment so that she knew I was safe and I would gain the experience of doing so. My mother then proceeded to make margaritas from purple passion and hand them to me. I got drunk and slept with my head over the toilet swearing I would never get drunk again.of course that was not the case, but I did learn to respect it and have exercised moderation through my life.
Fast forward to present time. I have a 10yr old son that asks me why I smoke cigars and drink. I explain that cigars are a hobby and he knows that I do not smoke often. He sees me drink but not daily. I have given him sips as I was granted when I was younger to the replies of "thats disgusting! Why would you drink that?" I also let him listen to questionable music such as Avenged Sevenfold, Five finger death punch and various hip hop from when I was younger.
My long winded point to all of this is that if you shelter your children they will rebel at some point and no matter how good of a parent you thought you were, you will see your mistakes. If you are open with them and guide them they will have all the tools needed to make the correct choices when you are not around.
Ok, let the haters hate.

 

[luckysaturn13]

I have a 2 yo and a newborn I used to smoke inside when we had a babysitter but I won't any more. I smoke at night when there sleeping or I will smoke when I'm running around all over out side with my 2 y o and I make sure smokes not blowing in his face. I'm a firm believer that kids need to be raised to know certain things exist in the world and they will need to make a decision about them one day. I believe in education not sheltering. I used to drink a lot but I don't anymore. I do how ever have an Odools here and there and if you ask my 2 y o about it he says beer is for big guys and daddy's =)