A question my g/f asked

[Wasch_24]

Thanks for the responses guys. She's a super supportive girl and really great. But obviously, when I put myself in her shoes, I wouldn't understand it either. She'll get used to it because she does love me. She's by no means "forbidding" me or anything like that. She was looking for answers and I guess in the end there won't be one that is acceptable to her mind. It's just one of those men are from mars women are from venus things in the end I suppose.

Just tell her it is YOUR hobby and brings you great joy. If she has a problem with you being happy and still fails to understand then you should have a talk about THAT with her.

My wife understands all of it but still thinks I am nuts. With that said, as long as my buying isn't negatively affecting other aspects of our financial responsibilities she doesn't have a problem with it because she likes to see me happy. :wifey:

 

[jasontp]

My wife understands all of it but still thinks I am nuts. With that said, as long as my buying isn't negatively affecting other aspects of our financial responsibilities she doesn't have a problem with it because she likes to see me happy. :wifey:

I think that's the biggest part of all of this. I have to be very careful because I could very easily "negatively affect other aspects of my financial responsablilities", and as soon as I do my girlfriend has every right to say, hey "I want electricity, don't buy more cigars."

Your g/f may never "get it" but she loves you so she doesn't have to. I know personally mine thinks I'm crazy!

 

[Black Dog]

This is something that will be different next time around for me. My ex-wife didn't understand my hobbies and was funny about me spending money on them. Interestingly, she was fine about spending money on her interests. Hmmmm. :scratchhe In hindsight, I should have put my foot down. I work hard and deserve to spend some of the proceeds on things I enjoy. I get a lot of enjoyment out of collecting, smoking and talking about cigars. As Todd said, as long as I'm not affecting the quality of the rest of our lives it shouldn't be an issue.
I intend to make that clear to my intended next time around.

 

[Matthew]

Through my wife's eyes: He can (A) play with his cigars and chat with his cigar buddies or (B) he can go out with a group of guys, get drunk, chase skirts, maybe end up in trouble. She picked "A".

 

[caudio51]

How about (C) All of the above?

 

[ohpus]

most of us who buy boxes and who only smoke a few a week, do this because of OCD, ADD or just a passion. Non smokers will never understand, specially women, is that cigar collecting is a very personal thing. When you have a girlfriend and later a wife, this is one of the few things that can solely be yours and yours alone. You share everything else in life with her, but this is one thing that you can claim as your territory. It can be very therapeutic!

Another perspective, I buy way more than I smoke at any given time. Why? again, obsession??? ADD???? OCD????? No way man, my ultimate goal is to collect the cigars that I love now, let them age so by the time I retire in 15-20 years or so, I will have a supreme collection of extremely well aged cigars to enjoy.

 

[AZsteelman]

A good friend of mine helped me with this very question. I offer this: My wife is a wine drinker and I asked her if she would be happy drinking the same wine every day. She said no...I explained to her that it's almost the same way with cigars. Some days you feel like one type, some days others. As for the amount of boxes in total, it's just so much cheaper to buy them in bulk. End of the discussion...I love my wife!

 

[Kingston]

As for the amount of boxes in total, it's just so much cheaper to buy them in bulk.

---
I too use the "Costco Reasoning" for large box orders

 

[thebigo]

Tell her...Just like her, they get better with age.

She's stuck there...take a compliment or continue arguing and if I know girls...yeah. Good luck.

 

[Jwrussell]

If you have to work this hard to justify it to her then there might be a problem. If you are having money problems (not being able to pay bills, strected to the limit all the time, etc.), then there's another issue going on and you should look closely at what's going on before you go any further.

But assuming money isn't a problem, you aren't skimping on her, explain to her any of the above reasons and let her know, as firmly yet nicely as possible, that this is the way it is and will be and she needs to make a decision if she can live with that. If you are serious about this hobby, and plan on keeping with it, then be happy you are in the situation you are in now and not asking this question after 5-10 years of marriage.

Just my humble opinion. Worth what ya paid for it! :headroll:

 

[cvm4]

...explain to her any of the above reasons and let her know, as firmly yet nicely as possible, that this is the way it is and will be and she needs to make a decision if she can live with that. If you are serious about this hobby, and plan on keeping with it, then be happy you are in the situation you are in now and not asking this question after 5-10 years of marriage.

What Jason said :yes: I had to do that with my girl and the bitching stopped. There's only so much complaining and nagging I can take until I break.

 

[avid toker]

Seriously, you do only need one or two box to get you buy. But to fully enjoy those cigars they would need to be vintage cigars (>10 yrs). So imagine how much 2 vintage box of Cohiba's would go for? Depending on the particular vitola you could easily spend $2,000. But imagine how many recent production boxes could you buy for $2K and age yourself? Same principle goes for wine. See if she'll understand the savings and variety component combined. Good luck!

 

[avid toker]

But then again, my explanation is logical right and we all know women don't get logic. So try something they may understand.......emotions. Just tell her this is a hobby your passionate about. Then she'll get it :skew:

 

[Rutkus]

because it makes you happy

 

[thebigo]

If you have to work this hard to justify it to her then there might be a problem. If you are having money problems (not being able to pay bills, strected to the limit all the time, etc.), then there's another issue going on and you should look closely at what's going on before you go any further.

But assuming money isn't a problem, you aren't skimping on her, explain to her any of the above reasons and let her know, as firmly yet nicely as possible, that this is the way it is and will be and she needs to make a decision if she can live with that. If you are serious about this hobby, and plan on keeping with it, then be happy you are in the situation you are in now and not asking this question after 5-10 years of marriage.

Just my humble opinion. Worth what ya paid for it! :headroll:

well said

 

[Claudius]

I would say cigars are pretty much like wine (though I'm not sure you guys drink a lot of wine?): sure you can drink last year's wine, but it will be much better 4 or 5 years (or more) from today. And if you buy the same bottle (or cigar, if you can find it then) in 5 years time, it will be much more expensive.

As a consequence, you buy cigars and store them to have the same cigars to smoke at the same point in time, only for much less money. And also, it's a hobby, you like inspecting them and making sure they age well. Plus you never know how someone else has kept them...