Annoying B&M owner

[jeffturneraz]

I use to go to Total Wine a lot until I figured out their humidor blows and that about 100 people put their hands all over the cigars on a given day, probably put them in their mouths as props for instagram pictures for all I know. Ha.

I guess the bottom line is I def DO want to continue shopping at this place.

I could just "put up with it" and it wouldn't be the end of the world.

This B&M is also the closest to my house, I could almost hit it with a rock (not really but its very close to me)

In an ideal scenario, I would tell him I would prefer he leave me in the humi by myself and I will come to him if I have any questions, I would explain to him that I have been trying to find a good opportunity to tell him this and that I have shopped elsewhere because of this and only come there if the situation is very specific. I would tell him I would go there and spend money at his shop 95% of the time if he would stop going in the humi with me.

My worry is he refuses and then I have just made things even more awkward and in turn stop going there altogether. I like the place, I even like the guy, I just really hate his odd stalkerish behavior when I'm looking.

 

[jeffturneraz]

Thanks guys. I do have a good relationship with him, and I do know he does this with everyone.

I go in there sometimes for a smoke and hang out and shoot the breeze with him.

I just am struggling with a way to remain polite, show him that I am not faulting him for standing in there, but somehow get the message through to him that because of this practice he chooses to do, I literally have spent money at other shops because I don't feel like dealing with it for that day.

I need a polite way to tell him there are many dollars I have not spent at his shop in the anticipation of knowing I would be rushed, so I went somewhere else.

If he is unwilling to change it, and I continue to shop there, it seems like it would then be awkward after that from then on.

So what you're saying is that is like a chick that could use some work on her BJs. You want them to be better but you don't want her to get pissed and stop altogether. After all a mediocre BJ is better than no BJ!

Boom, exactly, ha

 

[halel]

I want a BJ.

 

[jeffturneraz]

I want a BJ.

I think you're in the wrong place for one of those.

 

[ChefBoyRG54]

I use to go to Total Wine a lot until I figured out their humidor blows and that about 100 people put their hands all over the cigars on a given day, probably put them in their mouths as props for instagram pictures for all I know. Ha.

I guess the bottom line is I def DO want to continue shopping at this place.

I could just "put up with it" and it wouldn't be the end of the world.

This B&M is also the closest to my house, I could almost hit it with a rock (not really but its very close to me)

In an ideal scenario, I would tell him I would prefer he leave me in the humi by myself and I will come to him if I have any questions, I would explain to him that I have been trying to find a good opportunity to tell him this and that I have shopped elsewhere because of this and only come there if the situation is very specific. I would tell him I would go there and spend money at his shop 95% of the time if he would stop going in the humi with me.

My worry is he refuses and then I have just made things even more awkward and in turn stop going there altogether. I like the place, I even like the guy, I just really hate his odd stalkerish behavior when I'm looking.

maybe if you take the passive aggressive route and remind him that you have been shopping there for a long time and that you really enjoy just walking around the humidor for awhile even if you know what you are going to smoke (like i do). Perhaps imply it is part of your ritual. Then maybe he learns to just give you some time.

I agree with what Clint was saying that he may get stolen from a lot and the store is probably his livelihood. Tough spot for him. But at the same time the regulars that he obviously recognizes should be given some space to just wander

 

[Hoshneer]

The shop I was talking about has cameras but that never stops them from stealing from them for some reason. They even post pictures of the thieves up on Facebook. Lmao!

 

[cajunblitz]

I'd just go in for the sticks you can't get at the other places, pay and leave. Save your browsing for the places where you feel comfortable.

 

[Dave]

Good luck. I suspect that with positive engagement, you and he will get along just fine.


But....
At no small risk of jacking your thread.....
I must be getting old..... Because, contrary to what I see as a bit of 'umbrage' above, I see no problem whatsoever in a business owner/manager 'profiling' a customer for greater scrutiny based upon youth, dress, tattoos, piercings, language, etc. If you're young and more than a little tattooed, I'm probably going to treat you different, too....at least until I get to know you and am comfortable with you.

 

[halel]

I guess I don't see what youth has to do with it...

 

[remy swagger]

This has the potential to get fun...

Good luck. I suspect that with positive engagement, you and he will get along just fine.


But....
At no small risk of jacking your thread.....
I must be getting old..... Because, contrary to what I see as a bit of 'umbrage' above, I see no problem whatsoever in a business owner/manager 'profiling' a customer for greater scrutiny based upon youth, dress, tattoos, piercings, language, etc. If you're young and more than a little tattooed, I'm probably going to treat you different, too....at least until I get to know you and am comfortable with you.

 

[AlohaStyle]

I've stayed out of this thread because it's a tricky situation. I agreed with Ninja but the more you say you like this shop and actually like the owner, the more trickier it is. I agree it could be awkward if you say something and he continues watching you... then you might be forced to stop going for good if it gets too weird.

Normally I'm a no BS kinda guy and would do like Ninja said and let him know your feelings in a good way and leave if you still feel uncomfortable. But after reading more of your replies, here is what I would do. Next time you go in and just want to browse the humidor, simply tell him that you're not sure what you're in the mood for and if he minds that you simply browse for a while and let him know if you have questions. That tells him in a non-threatening way that you want your time to browse at the same time letting him know you will come to him if you need help or have questions. If he watches you in the humi in case you need help, that gives him an out by you saying that and he can stay out of the humi. But if he is watching you for theft reasons, then he will probably still follow you in, so you can assume it's for that reason.

Then it's up to you if you should just accept that's the way it will be, or decide to move on. Don't take offense, many shops have that policy of being in the walk-in if a customer is there. I was just in Cabo spending a long time in the LCDH humidor. I could tell the worker was getting impatient but I could've cared less. I know it was her job to watch out for theft, but I also know my cigars and wanted to browse for hidden gems, aged cigars etc. Sure I don't like people watching over my shoulder as I'm just browsing, but so what... I wanted to be there. After I finally picked out what I wanted and lit up my cigar in the lounge, then I had great conversation with the worker even though she gave me a bad vibe in the humi.

 

[thejavaman]

Great points. Heed Ryan's advice!

 

[jeffturneraz]

Yeah, I basically have 2 choices I know. Deal with it or say something.

I have a pretty good feeling no matter what I say he will still come in the humi with me.

Maybe I can figure out, as you said "non-threatening" ways to sort of let him know that I am hyper aware that he's staring at me thew whole time I'm in there.

Maybe I should just say,

"I'm not sure if its your strict policy to stand with customers in the humi or not, bit if it is, I sometimes feel like I'm holding you up, so if that happens, please say something to me because the last thing I want is for either YOU or MYSELF to feel rushed"

How about that? That seems pretty non-threatening I think.

 

[TonyRome]

I know for me personally I couldn't shop anywhere I felt uncomfortable. I can see the owner being leery if your a new customer but if you have consistently spent money I would be a bit offended and would express myself as such and let the chips fall where they may.

 

[Sirspanksalot]

The local shop I go to sometimes was like that. Only person ever there are the old regulars and the owner. It just took me going a few times and having a good convo or two for him to let be in there by myself. Sometimes he'll open the door and ask if I need help but that's about it

 

[ChefBoyRG54]

Yeah, I basically have 2 choices I know. Deal with it or say something.

I have a pretty good feeling no matter what I say he will still come in the humi with me.

Maybe I can figure out, as you said "non-threatening" ways to sort of let him know that I am hyper aware that he's staring at me thew whole time I'm in there.

Maybe I should just say,

"I'm not sure if its your strict policy to stand with customers in the humi or not, bit if it is, I sometimes feel like I'm holding you up, so if that happens, please say something to me because the last thing I want is for either YOU or MYSELF to feel rushed"

How about that? That seems pretty non-threatening I think.

Maybe just throw a couple sticks in your coat pocket and see what happens

 

[StogieNinja]

Next time you go in and just want to browse the humidor, simply tell him that you're not sure what you're in the mood for and if he minds that you simply browse for a while and let him know if you have questions. That tells him in a non-threatening way that you want your time to browse at the same time letting him know you will come to him if you need help or have questions. If he watches you in the humi in case you need help, that gives him an out by you saying that and he can stay out of the humi. But if he is watching you for theft reasons, then he will probably still follow you in, so you can assume it's for that reason.

Then it's up to you if you should just accept that's the way it will be, or decide to move on. Don't take offense, many shops have that policy of being in the walk-in if a customer is there.

I think Ryan has the right idea, actually. Well said.

 

[Deathskin]

Where I get watched at the employee follows me into the humi and asks if she can help me find a cigar in a voice like I'm required to ask you this but I don't give a shit if u do.i say no but if I need help I'll let you kno then I start looking at sticks and the sighs start followed by shuffling the same papers over and over again and more sighing till I leave.if you search the store on google someone has left a rotten review and mentioned the rude lady so I'm not the only one getting the asshole treatment

 

[Xombie_King]

If you do talk to him just be polite about it. I mean if it's really that bad, speak up. Just don't be rude about it because you aren't doing yourself any favors. I see your concern. Simply bringing it up can cause a issue. On the other hand aside from the standing and the sighing you get along his fine. How would you consider your business to consumer relationship? If it's that annoying peacefully bring it up. If it's not, then I say deal with it. Can't be to bad if you're able to sit or stand there and shoot the breeze with him for a while.

 

[BrittS88]

Here is what you do. Next few times you go in when he greets you, start off by saying you're there to browse around because you have a ton of extra time to kill and just don't know what you want today. And then take a long ass time. No matter how annoyed he seems. But after maybe 15-20 min be like "you know I'm really indecisive today. If you have other stuff to do it's fine I'll find something eventually, I feel like I'm hogging all your time" then spend some more time there like your thinking even if he doesn't leave. Keep doing this probably three or four times and eventually when you go in he will be like. Oh Jeff's here he's gonna take forever to pick something out and he won't follow you in unless he wants to talk or something.