Anyone else have this problem?

[LTS 4 Bad Cigars]

You my good man are experiencing the effect of postpartum depression. We've all had to deal with it at one time or another. In fact, my oldest son came home from his last deployment in Afghanistan and had his newborn thrust upon him within hours of getting off the plane.

Women are funny creatures like that.

Hang in there, go easy on the scotch and just know that it'll be worth it in the end.

 

[njstone]

First off -- this is TOTALLY normal. We now have an 8-month-old and an almost 3-year-old and have been through this same stuff off and on. The transition after bringing the first child home is a long and often very difficult one.

Remember this: post-pardum emotional issues are often WORSE than the mood swings of pregnancy. Post-pardum depression is also a huge reality. So try to give her an extra measure of grace for the next few months, as she might be just as upset and confused as you are by her moods.

I'm a stay-home dad, and can tell you that even without those hormonal concerns, being stuck with a baby all day can be no fun at all sometimes--you feel isolated and when the baby is fussy, it's just plain torture. My infant is screaming I'm typing this, lol.

Having the baby "thrust" at you is a pretty normal response to spending many hours alone with an infant, trust me, lol. The overal resentment you mention is something that you two really need to talk about openly and honestly. Just remember, that emotionally she might lash out or act irrationally, so you'll have to be the man during those conversations and try to keep an even head the best you can.

 

[Asher]

The first few months are the toughest. I know you're both at your wits' ends, but try to see it from her point of view: taking care of a newborn isn't a full-time job, it's a 24-hour a day job. It's also tough have little adult contact during the day. Do your best to make it easier on her, take it easy with the scotch, enjoy your time with your daughter, and you'll make it though this. And remember, we're all here if you need to vent.

 

[goin' fer smoke]

Sounds to me like she is having an issue with postpartum(sp) depression. Very touchy issue. How close are you with some of her friends or her (gulp) mother? They may be able to suggest her discussing this with her Doctor. just my opinion.

I was thinking the same thing. I have no human children, mine are all 4 legged furry kids, for such a special event in life (having a baby together) it sucks that these things happen. I don't know if anyone gets Readers Digest, but this month there was an article that hit home and I think it may be appropriate here. I am not going to paraphrase but give you a take on it.

This guy had his own law firm, he was generous in his fees, meaning he didn't want to burden someone with high fees when they were already going thru a bad experience. Anyway, people took advantage of this, didn't pay there bills, he was breaking up with his wife, she stayed in the house he took an apartment. His oldest son was a mooch and always sponging money off dad, so with these problems already, he couldn't afford a decent place to live, his heating bills in winter were outrageous because of poor insulation and leaks everywhere (I can relate to this big time) to the tune of a couple hundred bucks just for heating each month. To him life couldn't get any worse, he was in danger of losing his law firm, too.

An old friend called upon him, they met up and his friend said he had never seen this man in just turmoil, downward spiralling and just overall negative about life.

The friend told him to do one thing. Find one thing good each day and say thank you. Well this guy wasn't good on keeping to doing this type of thing but he stuck to this. Each day he found one positive thing done by someone and thanked them by note, card or letter. He did so to his son, when he paid back some of the money mooched, to his daughter that would brighten his day when he had a bad day, his landlord who came and tried to fix his toilet.


I am going to try doing this myself. Might I suggest this to you?

At night, when having your scotch, review the day, was there something that happened you were appreciative of, thankful for, an incident that made your day, no matter how inconsequential? No I am not saying you have to write a note to them, but just for your sake, write it down, dwell on this, the good, the positive and relax.

And get her to a Dr. for a checkup.

Things are bound to change... it just takes time. In this fast food society we want everything instantly... time takes time.

Have a blessed Holiday, my friend.

 

[goin' fer smoke]

Sorry didn't mean to kill this thread.

 

[SergeantStogie]

Yeah you are in the time where her hormones are going crazy. Like PMS turned up to 11. Part of her probably is jealous you get to get out of the house even if it is working your ass off. Tell her all of what you said to us on here so she knows you are concerned. There are very few times more stressful than a new baby.

 

[BigFoot]

lots of good suggestions here. we have 2 girls, almost 3 and almost 1. it wasnt easy then itsnot easy now. good luck, all i can say is that yes, it doe get better. shit, you couldnt pay me to go through what women go thru while/after theyre pregnant.

 

[Renavatio]

Well, i slapped her around a bit (kidding), things are slightly better. We talked, I laid out some stuff, and things have improved a bit. Lets see how long it lasts...lol

 

[Andytex]

We went through the same thing. When she got pregnant and we figured out the due date it was just as my busy season gets rolling at the country club. She promised to be the one to handle nights and all the duties as I'll be working 6-7 days 80-9o hrs a week. Well that never happened. I'd get home around ten and have to shaower asap and get baby duty. Every two hrs up with him. If it was my day off she barely even held him. This lasted for like four months then it got better. She also used to and still does say sometimes" you get to be out all day and I'm stuck here with the kids and the housework". I say I'm working not like I'm out having fun. I actually got it this morning. You always leave at the busiest time of day for me and come home at night when everything is all done and quiet. I was like wtf? I leave at 8:30 and get home at 9:30. What am I supposed to do. She don't work and spends like a banshee. Oh well thank god I love getting laid on a regular basis. Thanks for this thread and giving me a vent spot.
On the other hand, what I'm getting at is it will get better or actually be the same but different. Give her time and eventually she will bond more with the baby. I am quite thankful for her postpartum because I know my son remembers our bonding time. Him and I are way closer than her bad him. Must of been my late night brain washing.lol