Dating Your Wife and/or Daughters

[bwhite220]

Gentlemen, one of the things I love about community and the brothers of this great forum is that we share ideas, thoughts, and opinions while trying to help make each other better in different ways. With that in mind, I thought I'd start a thread that is quite different from the others.

As of this post, my wife and I have been married for 13 years and we have two little girls who are 11 and 7. As the husband and daddy of these 3 women, I want to do everything possible to make sure they know that I love them more than anything. One of the ways I try to convey that is by dating them. I've seen too many marriages fall apart because the husband stopped pursuing his wife and we all know how hard life can be for little girls who have an absent father in their life.

It can be hard to do though. Especially with dating your daughter(s). There are so many questions! Where do we go? What do we do? I don't know what she likes? Will she even want to be seen with me?

So this thread is two fold:

1. I want to encourage you men to continue/start dating your wife and/or daughter(s).
2. When you do take her/them on dates, tell us what you did to give others ideas on what to do.

So, let's hear some high level details of you being a man who pursues the heart of his family.

 

[bwhite220]

I try to date both of my daughters individually because they are both at different stages in their life. Although recently, they have been sisters who fight and argue with each other a lot so I've been taking them both out together and I force them to talk to each other but more importantly, hear each other. I'll ask one a question about their day and keep asking questions until the other one starts asking her sister questions as well. It's pretty neat to see it happening. They start bonding over things at school. How the younger one is experiencing frustrations/fears and the older one will give some advice on how she handled it. I love it!

My wife loves to go do simple things. We could go to a park and just sit on a bench and talk or walk through the Promenade (outdoor mall) that we have while holding hands. She doesn't care for buying things as much as she loves to just be together intentionally and talk about our day and what we'd like to do in the future. She's a brilliant woman so she's WAY out of my league! haha

 

[mjones9630]

I love this! Following for the advice... I don't get out nearly enough with my wife, and when we do, it's not really date material.. I'll also have to start entertaining baby girl soon.. so any input is welcome!

 

[omahaorange]

Been married 28 years, two kids. One of each. Both adults now. Through their school years we kept pretty busy with sports and other activities. Wouldn't call it dating, per say. Boy was easy, Daughter, on the other hand, was a bit of a challenge. Between band concerts, cheerleading, and majorette competitions I learned things I never thought I'd be interested in. My son (24) has found other interests besides his girlfriend, but he goes with me to the cigar bar every month. My daughter (28) is following in dad's footsteps, following the same career path. Plus, my grandaughter has complete control when she's here. We do what she wants, when she wants to. As far as my wife, we still do things together. She's now discovering different activities now that the kids are grown, so it's always something new for us. Right now it's wine tasting, flea markets, and metal detecting.

I work in job (33 years now) that has a high rate of divorce. Very few of my coworkers can say they've been married as long as me, and those that can can't say it's been to the same woman. I've been pretty lucky.

 

[StogieNinja]

I've been married 11 years, we've had kids for 8 of those years. It would be very easy to get so wrapped up in day-to-day life that you lose sight of the marriage.

We make it a point to spend evenings together. Every one we can, just to be with each other. We go on dates about once a month, sometimes just over a lunch break. And we go on a quick overnight getaway 3-4 times per year. The most important thing is we put the phones away and we intentionally make it a point to talk and share things and enjoy each other's company. We don split up and do our own thing, we do things together during that time. It's adding strand upon strand to the rope that binds us together.

I have four girls and one boy. My wife makes it a point to take them out on dates with her, individually, about one kid a month. I tend to take them all out together, but will probably start doing the 1-on-1 thing shortly too. The 2yr olds don't really need that yet, but 4, 7, and 8 are all hungry for that level of attention. The main point of all of it is again to develop that deep connection and strong relationship. Provide them with a listening ear and a trusted advisor. To talk and enjoy each other's company. And to show them they're valuable enough to spend that time with.

 

[A Huge Nerd]

Good man. One of the biggest reasons older girls make bad decisions is because they feel like they have to in order to be loved or even noticed.

I've been married for 18 years and our daughter is almost 11. For the last 5 or so years I've taken her to an annual daddy-daughter dance. I want her to know how important she is so she will know what kind of treatment to expect when she gets older. My wife takes her to get a new dress and new shoes which she loves of course.

To go a step further, I buy her a corsage and actually show up as though I'm picking her up for our date. I ring the doorbell of my own house so she can answer the door and have that be part of the experience. I put the flower on her wrist and off we go. The event is held at a local church and they always set it up like a prom, with a theme and all the decorations to go along with it. We have a meal and then spend a couple hours dancing to music that I would otherwise not be caught dead listening to. When we are both fully exhausted from dancing, we go somewhere for ice cream.

We look forward to that event every year, and I can't imagine the year going by without it. Cool thing is, I see all ages of dads there with their daughters. I hope she will still want to go with me when she is 20 years old, but I know she might not. That's why it's so important to build the relationship now. I want her to know how valuable she is, so she will not settle for someone in the future who does not value her.

Great discussion topic. Thanks, brother.

 

[manbearpig]

Life has been pretty hectic around here for the last few years. We have a 19mo old and a 4 mo old. Date time has been diminished but it's something we both want to get into the habit of doing. We joined a monthly wine club to serve that purpose. Allows us a monthly date night together and a reason to make sitter arrangements. When the girls get older the daughter date night is a tradition I would like to establish.

 

[GWBowman]

We occasionally go to wine tastings/pairings. All the good ideas for time together come from my wife. Yes, I married up. From time to time, we find some recipes. Then go over them and decide on a meal. We prepare it together, spending time together in the kitchen.
When our sons were younger, we traveled quite a bit to ball games and competitions. Wore out us and a couple of cars, but well worth it. When each son got his Learners Permit, him and I would throw a bag in the pickup and take off. He did all the driving. We went to Sevierville TN, and spent the night. Next day we shopped at Smoky Mountain Knife works and came home.
Last Christmas, my wife gave me and the boys tickets to see the Hurricanes in Raleigh. The weekend of the game, we went to a B&M with an outdoor smoking area, and several craft breweries.
You probably have seen this, but @The Munt has posted some serious dates around the globe from his own kitchen. He was kind enough to share some of this in the cooking thread.

 

[navyvet]

 

[Xavier Dredo]

I'm the proud father and husband to these 3 beauties. 14yo on the left and 17yo on the right

Wifey and I have been together 25 years and married for 19. We bring our daughters everywhere, particularly concerts and music festivals (my daughters have seen Wilco 15 times ).
My wife has been in a monthly book club for over 20 years. My daughter and I have done our own thing when she's at them, starting with mini golf and ice cream when they were young, to movies as they got older, to full blown formal dinner dates now. My wife and I try and have date night periodically, but the dates with my daughters are special times!

 

[Happy Idiot]

My wife she don't understand me.

 

[bwhite220]

My wife she don't understand me.

Bro, none of us understand you.

 

[qpzmide]

Currently celebrating 10 years of marriage and I spent three hours at the spa today with the wife so there's that....

Edit: now watching football.

 

[Jfire]

Just getting back into date nights. 3.5 year old son. 1 year old daughter. Married 10 years and together for 20. Already taking my son out to the lake. We go to family events whenever my work schedule allows. All though I don't hang with the wife every night. I still tell her I love her every night.

My sons 4lb bass he caught off his Mickey Mouse rod last weekend. The rod was flying they the air as I caught it. It was just him and I. And I hope he will never forget it.


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[bwhite220]

Anytime my hot wife travels, I try to surprise her with something that shows up where she is staying (like a bomb for ladies haha). Currently she is in FL with her 3 best friends because every other year they go on a trip together. They've been best friends for the last 10 years.

I just ordered her and her friends each a dozen salted chocolate covered strawberries from berries.com. Should be there Wednesday.

If you've never used berries.com before, try it! The ladies LOVE the product and I've never had an issue with them. Great service!

 

[manbearpig]

@bwhite220 if you get busy and can't make a date with your wife I'll take her out bro.

 

[bwhite220]

@bwhite220 if you get busy and can't make a date with your wife I'll take her out bro.

You're a good man for offering. But when you are married to someone who is far superior to yourself, you do everything you can to keep her. I annoy myself so I don't know she sticks with me! Haha

 

[EO80]

Great job gentlemen! I do not have a daughter so I will be less than useless in that area. As far as my wife goes...
We make random ice cream night a thing. Could be for any reason or no reason. We finish dinner and I will just say its time to go. She knows what I mean and we go sit and enjoy a hot fudge sundae. She loves it and I get ice cream. Win-win. Also, every friday is dinner date night. If we have my son he comes with but otherwise its just the two of us.
And @bwhite220 , we were just at Pinnacle Hills yesterday. I tried to get my wife to let me hit you up and try to grab a stick but she wasn't up for that. Instead she "made me" add another box to my cigar order tonight. Keep em happy and they reward you.

 

[bwhite220]

And @bwhite220 , we were just at Pinnacle Hills yesterday. I tried to get my wife to let me hit you up and try to grab a stick but she wasn't up for that. Instead she "made me" add another box to my cigar order tonight. Keep em happy and they reward you.

Aww man! I would have bought the ice cream, too! Haha

Maybe next time!

 

[EO80]

Aww man! I would have bought the ice cream, too! Haha

Maybe next time!

Ended up meeting some friends at the Flying Fish in Bville. We need to make a herf happen. Even got a new recruit in the other night. He just joined.