Embarrassing Cigar Confessions

[Deadman]

So, since I lost all my smokes I've been going thru the "discovery" stages again, learning whats new on the market and such, and it got me to thinking about something I can laugh at now, figure I'd share and see if anyone else has any good stories!


Back when I was much younger and the only thing I'd experienced were Black & Milds and Swisher cherry cigarillos, I had *no* idea what a Cuban cigar was. All I knew is that whenever it was mentioned, there was always that "knowing" look (a wink or a nod) when the point of origin was referenced. For the longest time, in my naivety I thought that the reference was alluding to something illicit inside the cigar!

Then, when I finally got my hands on a real, hand rolled cigar, I wasn't informed of what to do with the cap, and TRIED REALLY HARD to smoke it...yeah that didnt work...But once I figure out what I was doing wrong I wasted a good few cigars by cutting the cap off with either a pocket knife or at one point, scissors.



So, does anyone else have any embarrassing stories?

 

[Argus17]

Yes, I have one for you. Years ago, when I was a noob, I smoked CI owned "Gurkha" labels, and actually thought they where......................... good (gasp).

 

[3/5King]

I went into my B&M when I was noobish and asked for a Cohiba Behike.......when I realized (like a month later) that I can't get one of those here... I laugh at what an asshole I must have looked like..

 

[Jmphotog]

I went into my B&M when I was noobish and asked for a Cohiba Behike.......when I realized (like a month later) that I can't get one of those here... I laugh at what an asshole I must have looked like..

Lolol sorry legit LOL'ed at work...

Couldn't be worse than mine when I was noob-ish I walked into my B&M and asked for a " v-cut " thinking it was a stick because I heard someone saying how they LOVEEEE v cuts so I was like heck then maybe I would love it .. So I ask and the girl is like what.. And I'm like v cuts like I know what I'm talking about then the owner came over and I got schooled #facepalm worse moment EVER LOL

 

[mdwest]

Back in the early 90's I used to travel to the Caribbean quite a bit... I bet I bought 100 "Cuban" cigars over a period of about 3 or 4 years at the local markets, etc... typically paid a small fortune for them.. having no idea I was actually buying dried oak leaves stuffed with twine, cat hair, and beetle dung lol...

 

[jmartins]

Oh god. I have a few good stories that honestly I look back and think to myself wtf is your mental malfunction boy.

So we will go back about 9-10 years I had just stumbled upon cigars. Century SAMs to be exact(used wage wrappers for other things also) a couple of friends and myself head up to my best friends cottage. My buddy Rob his dad still to this day is a cigar aficionado sent us up with 6 monte 2s. Thinking we were cool shit not having the slightest clue smoke them like we had a clue. I lit mine with a zippo, to top it off my logic was to light the cigar backwards as if the cap and torpedo end was to be lit. I puffed and puffed and puffed and puffed. That cigar got so hot that I actually had to put it down cause it burned my fingers. Also one monte was used as a re roll.

Face palm.

What a sad sad time in history.

 

[LikeAPuma]

Where to start?

-"high end Cubans" in Seoul
-Using nails to "punch" the cigar
-Using nails to open up the draw
-Thinking my humidor would take care of itself in Iraq
-dropping a cigar onto the seat of a humvee, feeling the burn through flame retardant pants (fire resistant is NOT heat resistant)

The list could go on for days. Thanks to you kind folk, these kinds of incidents occur less often. Always have some learning to do though!

 

[fsfrancis]

was so drunk one time, and it was so dark, I smoked the ribbon on the end of a cigar without realizing it. just didn't take it off before I lit that puppy up.

 

[c.ortiz108]

I like Parodis.

 

[ccantrell]

At my brothers bachelor party earlier this year we thought we were hot s*** and all smoked the LFD double ligero in the 8.5 by 60 vitola. All but one of us were sicker than a dog lol. I don't think my brother has touched a cigar since 😂😂

 

[StogieNinja]

I smoked a 7x70...

 

[Catawbamatt]

Thinking that famous brands like Cohiba, Montecristo, H. Upmann, Punch, etc. Dominican and Cuban cigars were all part of the same company just tobacco from different locations.

 

[ky70]

Well, I was smoking in my backyard late at night in the dark and I mistatekenly put the ash end in my mouth!! Thank goodness the ash was cool.

 

[sean]

Drunkenly smoked an LFD Double Ligero Churchill on an empty stomach, passed out, woke up having shit my pant in my friend's backyard.

 

[marshall9779]

Drunkenly smoked an LFD Double Ligero Churchill on an empty stomach, passed out, woke up having shit my pant in my friend's backyard.

Had to control my laughter on that one while at my desk.

 

[marshall9779]

I got a little over zealous the other day. Got to lighting up a stick. Toasted the foot and went to puff on it and nothing. Forgot to cut.

 

[Craig Mac]

was so drunk one time, and it was so dark, I smoked the ribbon on the end of a cigar without realizing it. just didn't take it off before I lit that puppy up.

Well, I was smoking in my backyard late at night in the dark and I mistatekenly put the ash end in my mouth!! Thank goodness the ash was cool.

If you combine these two you'll get mine

 

[Life in smoke]

was so drunk one time, and it was so dark, I smoked the ribbon on the end of a cigar without realizing it. just didn't take it off before I lit that puppy up.

Well, I was smoking in my backyard late at night in the dark and I mistatekenly put the ash end in my mouth!! Thank goodness the ash was cool.

If you combine these two you'll get mine

HA! was reading through these gonna post mine, but you just nailed it! I was drunk in the Dorms Freshman year of college burned the f*ck out of my tongue, woke up clueless to why my tongue was in pain.

 

[herfdog]

If you put the lit end into your mouth, are you supposed to push the air out?

 

[Craig Mac]

If you put the lit end into your mouth, are you supposed to push the air out?

No, you are supposed to swear like a sailor while spitting out ash