Embarrassing Cigar Confessions

[Whtwtrman79]

Was trying to nub one tasty tat..... It went out and I tried to relight it and thought ...... That smells weird like burnt hair then quickly disappeared .......

I realized I singed a big chunk of the mustache later that evening

 

[thejavaman]

I forget who it was now, but I remember someone here once said that when they first started smoking cigars, they thought they had to cut open the Boveda packs to activate them and "sprinkle the juices on the cigars". Haha. :squinteye

 

[Ducttapegonewild]

^^^ That makes me shudder...

 

[javajunkie]

If you put the lit end into your mouth, are you supposed to push the air out?

No, you are supposed to swear like a sailor while spitting out ash

y'know, this happens a LOT less often since i dried up...

 

[herfdog]

^^^ That makes me shudder...

You and me both brother. You and me both.

 

[Ducttapegonewild]

If you put the lit end into your mouth, are you supposed to push the air out?

No, you are supposed to swear like a sailor while spitting out ash

y'know, this happens a LOT less often since i dried up...

The swearing or the ashtray mouth?

 

[shadowcam]

Mine was more HERF related rather than the cigar itself. At my first HERF, both cityblock25 and jdog brought scotch and I proceeded to get blitzed. I pretty much blanked the whole night and Bob gave me the who the F is this guy look all night. I had the worst hangover in my life. My wife said I came into the house broke a glass while trying to get water. Put chicken nuggets into the oven then went to the couch and passed out. She had to turn everything off and clean up my mess. I think Jdog expects me to get crazy every time we meet up but I've been on my best behavior ever since

The lesson is Jdog is a dick.

 

[Senor Perfecto]

Drunkenly smoked an LFD Double Ligero Churchill on an empty stomach, passed out, woke up having shit my pant in my friend's backyard.

Winner. Winner.

 

[bad monkey]

Drunkenly smoked an LFD Double Ligero Churchill on an empty stomach, passed out, woke up having shit my pant in my friend's backyard.

I know what I would never smoke again...

 

[smokinghole]

I smoked two DE natural eggs when I was 19....whew my secret is out.

 

[rdomfoto]

After having had a couple of drinks (this, BTW, is how most of my stories seem to begin), I lit up a cigar. Not paying attention, I grabbed my kitchen torch instead of my regular lighter and managed to almost immediately incinerate the first 1½" of the cigar.

 

[Shrody234]

Drunkenly smoked an LFD Double Ligero Churchill on an empty stomach, passed out, woke up having shit my pant in my friend's backyard.

hahah that's fucking hilarious! Thread OVER! Nothing is topping this one.

...oh and I bought a box of "Monte no. 2 Habanos" on the beach in D.R. when I was just starting out. Thankfully I didn't pay near the initial asking price...

 

[herfdog]

I bought a box of cohibas pyramides with my brother once, from a colorier of his, back from cuba. Worst burn ever. Plugged. All of them.

Tirons out they were fakes. Good learning expérience. Manage to get reimbursed.


Lesson learned: dont buy CC from friands back from cuba even if the price and story seems legit.

 

[StogieNinja]

I smoked a fake RyJ I brought back from a street vendor when I was in Mexico one time. Let it sit in the tubo for about 6 months on a shelf. Smoked it after a nice dinner with my wife. No bueno. That thing made me sicker than anything I've ever smoked.

 

[Ducttapegonewild]

I smoked two DE natural eggs when I was 19....whew my secret is out.

I bet that's a load off your chest...

Don't you feel better?

 

[ChefBoyRG54]

I smoked two DE natural eggs when I was 19....whew my secret is out.

I bet that's a load off your chest...

Don't you feel better?

What's the gauge on that thing? 100?

 

[Cigary43]

This happened about 12 years ago where I was a member of a cigar lounge near Boston ( won't give the town as there are probably members there that know me and could attest to what happened) and I use to go to this lounge at least 5 times a week so everybody pretty much knows everyone there. I showed up this one particular day to announce my prized box of Opus X Cigars had just come in ( courtesy of the owner of the B&M who held them for me and at a great price) and I walked into the lounge with one of the cigars to smoke that day. As usual I continue to brag about how I procured the box and the price all the while everyone is joking around. I lit my cigar and proceeded to blow the smoke around the room so that everyone could share in the experience and after drinking about 3 or 4 sodas my bladder was giving me fits and anyone who is over 50 will understand what a "fit" is. I couldn't stand it any longer as my bladder can barely hold 10 ounces as it is and it was stretched beyond it's capabilities so I excused myself to use the facilities. I'm in this very small bathroom where you almost have to walk in sideways and feeling the total effects of having to pi$$ so bad you know that when you release the hounds it feels like a pressure washer out of control. In my haste to unbutton and unburden myself I forgot to switch hands as I am left handed so I....w/o much thought transferred the cigar over to my right hand because I can't unbutton my Levis with my right fingers...so still feeling the overwhelming mindboggling pressure I proceeded to put my head back to let loose an incredible stream of spray that would have taken the red off a fire hydrant....the feeling of being able to empty my bladder which at that time felt like the Hindenburg was so satisfying that I almost lost consciousness right up until the time I heard something that brought me back to reality. Not only did I hear the unyielding spray but I heard something that made me sick....yes....my amazing prize cigar was giving off smoke but not because it was lit...it was because the overspray was actually putting out the end of it and at that point...as we all know you can't just stop this kind of stream....I was trying to move my hand to keep the cigar from getting sprayed itself...causing the stream to go totally out of control and back and forth...back and forth...and the stream was too much for the cigar. I even thought for a second if I could actually save the rest of the cigar even after it being extinguished.... but my sense came back to me and I had to do a burial at sea....as it were. The cigar was dropped into the toilet and flushed and I said a quiet little prayer to speed it on its way.

The story doesn't stop here because now I have to walk through the hall of shame in front of the others and my plan was to get though the lounge quickly w/o anybody noticing that I didn't have the cigar I went into the bathroom with...esp. after making so much noise about how great my cigar was than anybody else that day. I was half out of the lounge before 3 people asked me what was on fire since I was obviously getting out of there very quickly....and I mumbled something where nobody was able to hear....one of the guys joked that I probably dropped it in the toilet and I responded that I didn't....that I actually pissed on it w/o knowing and the whole room exploded into epileptic fits of laughter as I stood there like an 8th grader dreaming that he's in school with no pants on....miserable. The more I tried to explain the louder the laughter and it was about 2 weeks before I could return to the Lounge again. The story was still being told a year later causing me to move to the West Coast where...no pun intended...nobody knew my name.

 

[herfdog]

I smoked a fake RyJ I brought back from a street vendor when I was in Mexico one time. Let it sit in the tubo for about 6 months on a shelf. Smoked it after a nice dinner with my wife. No bueno. That thing made me sicker than anything I've ever smoked.

That can happen with fakes. Some fauxhiba are actually made from torserados at the cohibas factory with tobacos they grow at home and can be kind of good, but far from the real deal. But lots are made with about anything. Mainly sub-par tobacos. I've heard but never seen paper, other plants and whatnot.

Mainly not good product and perhaps even hasardous. Hopefully you didn't get too stick.

 

[RacFocus]

When I was dumb I ordered Acid Kuba Kuba's and thought I was getting CCs.

 

[smokinghole]

I smoked two DE natural eggs when I was 19....whew my secret is out.

I bet that's a load off your chest...

Don't you feel better?

What's the gauge on that thing? 100?

Only in the middle. I might have to rephrase. I tried to smoke two. Each one got so tarry that I could only smoke the first half basically. They just did not really taste good either.