Luckysaturn13 s Dog Rocket Reviews!
- Thread starter luckysaturn13
- Start date
Great idea!
luckysaturn13
Smoke it if ya got it!
coming to a mailbox near you 
Here’s my final review. No one can say ZippoGeek wasn’t a good sport (booyeah, me!)
Today’s rocket is a flavored selection: the St. Croix Hazelnut. For the record, I detest infused cigars like it’s my job. I mean, I hate the crap out these things! So why on Earth did I choose one from the pass? Because it was the smallest damn stick I could grab (6 x 43)! I figured that no matter how bad it tasted, my suffering would be brief. As it turns out, this strategy was dumber than a sack of diapers.
First, let’s talk appearances. The wrapper on this thing is hideously deformed, like Emperor Palpatine’s face. Raised veins and seams are everywhere. When you run your fingers across it, it’s like reading an ominous message in braille: “This…cigar…is going…to suck!”
The whole stick smells like a nauseatingly sweet pipe tobacco blend. “Typical flavored cigar,” I mutter, lighting up the foot. Before I can even put the thing to my lips, I’m surrounded by an overpowering, hyper-sweet aroma. It’s a foul stench, like incense and mothballs.
I finally work up the courage to put this monstrosity in my pie hole. The taste is sweeter than a teaspoon of saccharine. Between the horrid flavor and the incense/mothball aroma, there’s a moment when I feel like I might puke in my mouth. “Bleccch!” On these first few puffs, I notice some notes of toasted nut. Hope springs eternal…“Maybe she’ll get better!”
Yeah, right. The sweetness is overpowering from start to finish, with no sign of hazelnuts. Disgusting! But I soldier on, fighting through this thing about halfway down to the ring. Mercifully, the stick burns itself out twice, giving me an exit strategy. After a third flame-out, I sarcastically say, "Oh well!" and toss it in my Stinky. And I can almost swear I heard that ashtray groan...
Verdict: I think you already know. Let's just say that I'm satisfied with my solid 23 minute effort here, and for having done my noble duty for the Brotherhood!
Today’s rocket is a flavored selection: the St. Croix Hazelnut. For the record, I detest infused cigars like it’s my job. I mean, I hate the crap out these things! So why on Earth did I choose one from the pass? Because it was the smallest damn stick I could grab (6 x 43)! I figured that no matter how bad it tasted, my suffering would be brief. As it turns out, this strategy was dumber than a sack of diapers.
First, let’s talk appearances. The wrapper on this thing is hideously deformed, like Emperor Palpatine’s face. Raised veins and seams are everywhere. When you run your fingers across it, it’s like reading an ominous message in braille: “This…cigar…is going…to suck!”
The whole stick smells like a nauseatingly sweet pipe tobacco blend. “Typical flavored cigar,” I mutter, lighting up the foot. Before I can even put the thing to my lips, I’m surrounded by an overpowering, hyper-sweet aroma. It’s a foul stench, like incense and mothballs.
I finally work up the courage to put this monstrosity in my pie hole. The taste is sweeter than a teaspoon of saccharine. Between the horrid flavor and the incense/mothball aroma, there’s a moment when I feel like I might puke in my mouth. “Bleccch!”
On these first few puffs, I notice some notes of toasted nut. Hope springs eternal…“Maybe she’ll get better!”Yeah, right. The sweetness is overpowering from start to finish, with no sign of hazelnuts. Disgusting!
But I soldier on, fighting through this thing about halfway down to the ring. Mercifully, the stick burns itself out twice, giving me an exit strategy. After a third flame-out, I sarcastically say, "Oh well!" and toss it in my Stinky. And I can almost swear I heard that ashtray groan...Verdict: I think you already know.
Let's just say that I'm satisfied with my solid 23 minute effort here, and for having done my noble duty for the Brotherhood! 
Last edited:
8ball
Ruler of Grayskull
That baby had about 4 yrs of age on it too! Maybe it needed 4 more?Here’s my final review. No one can say ZippoGeek wasn’t a good sport (booyeah, me!)
Today’s rocket is a flavored selection: the St. Croix Hazelnut. For the record, I detest infused cigars like it’s my job. I mean, I hate the crap out these things! So why on Earth did I choose one from the pass? Because it was the smallest damn stick I could grab (6 x 43)! I figured that no matter how bad it tasted, my suffering would be brief. As it turns out, this strategy was dumber than a sack of diapers.
First, let’s talk appearances. The wrapper on his thing is hideously deformed, like Emperor Palpatine’s face. Raised veins and seams are everywhere. When you run your fingers across it, it’s like reading an ominious message in braille: “This…cigar…is going…to suck!”
The whole stick smells like a nauseatingly sweet pipe tobacco blend. “Typical flavored cigar,” I mutter, lighting up the foot. Before I can even put the thing to my lips, I’m surrounded by an overpowering, hyper-sweet aroma. It’s a foul stench, like incense and mothballs.
I finally work up the courage to put this monstrosity in my pie hole. The taste is sweeter than a teaspoon of saccharine. Between the horrid flavor and the incense/mothball aroma, there’s a moment when I feel like I might puke in my mouth. “Bleccch!”
Yeah, right. The sweetness is overpowering from start to finish, with no sign of hazelnuts. Disgusting!
Verdict: I think you already know.
Was that one put in by you?!
8ball
Ruler of Grayskull
Yeah, I split a bundle for like $15 & the last one I had was at least 2 years ago. I remember them being pretty wet with some soft spots. Sorry it went out on you, I'll see if I have anymore for you to try again.
#@!%*! That thing was HEINOUS! And here I thought you were a decent guy...Yeah, I split a bundle for like $15 & the last one I had was at least 2 years ago. I remember them being pretty wet with some soft spots. Sorry it went out on you, I'll see if I have anymore for you to try again.
8ball
Ruler of Grayskull
Those were different days my friend.#@!%*! That thing was HEINOUS! And here I thought you were a decent guy...
I would rather stick my hand in a Cuisinart than smoke another one!
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2015
- Messages
- 2,863
Kudos to @ZippoGeek - when we all agreed to take at least 3, I didn't think that any of us would actually be smoking all 3...
I shudder to think that such is the standard that's been set for the rest of us, and I'm now absolutely terrified of the monster we've created...
I shudder to think that such is the standard that's been set for the rest of us, and I'm now absolutely terrified of the monster we've created...
luckysaturn13
Smoke it if ya got it!
Poor Zippo geek... I bet after that endeavour the next item on his cigar accessory list is a defibrillator!
herfdog
I am no rocket surgeon
Wait a bit ... all extras return to @luckysaturn13 and he's mandated to smoke em all
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2015
- Messages
- 2,863
Not sure about that, but maybe we should think about pooling together some money for a few group therapy sessions after this box makes it's rounds...
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2015
- Messages
- 2,863
You're right, that was part of the deal, wasn't it?
(Editing an old post on this thread now...)