Panhandlers and homeless
- Thread starter Old Smokey
- Start date
Funny how that cloak of invisibility gets smaller and smaller the older and wiser we get.
I have never bought them alcohol, but have bought a guy a pack of smokes. I opened them before I gave them to him so he couldn't exchange them.
That’s the thing. I am more than happy to help out someone who truly needs it. But I too have offered to buy food for someone who said they needed money for food, but then get mad and say just give me money. Ive also given food to people who can’t say thank you enough for the gesture. In the end, a few bucks to help a fellow man or woman doesn’t hurt any of us, but no one wants to feel taken advantage of.
A couple thoughts on the subject,
First, when i was a kid back in the late 80s my Grandpa would come pick me up from time to time and take me to lunch. Just for the hell of it. Grandpa was well off, but we were not. So when he took me out, it was in the shitty part of town where we lived. One day while driving through a parking lot we saw a man with a sign by the road. My grandpa reached in his pocket and pulled out a 20 and handed it to me. Told me to walk over and hand it to the man. When i returned to the car he told me that he didnt know if the man would buy booze or a meal, but felt he had been blessed with the money and liked to help from time to time. That sticks with a kid.
As for myself, i try to help as i can, during the summer months at work we keep a cooler of iced waters in the cab with us. If i see a guy on the side of the road, they get one. Usually greatful. I have pumped 10 bucks of gas for a guy that shook my hand repeatedly as he said he was trying to go see his kid and was not sure he had enough gas to make it.
To speak to mental illness, there is a guy around here, @Old Smokey i am sure you have seen him. He likes to hang out at target. See him all over town with the same bag, wandering. One day with the fam we were in the check out line at target and he was standing behind the lines with a package of bologne. I tried to give him money to buy it and he would not accept it, he also would not let me buy it. The cashier said he comes in from time to time and does this. He will have the money to buy it, but will not take money directly from another person. If he sees you drop it by him and walk away, he will not touch it. Its a mental disorder that he struggles with. He pays with exact change so as not to take money from a cashier. Very sad that people have to deal with these issues and disorders.
First, when i was a kid back in the late 80s my Grandpa would come pick me up from time to time and take me to lunch. Just for the hell of it. Grandpa was well off, but we were not. So when he took me out, it was in the shitty part of town where we lived. One day while driving through a parking lot we saw a man with a sign by the road. My grandpa reached in his pocket and pulled out a 20 and handed it to me. Told me to walk over and hand it to the man. When i returned to the car he told me that he didnt know if the man would buy booze or a meal, but felt he had been blessed with the money and liked to help from time to time. That sticks with a kid.
As for myself, i try to help as i can, during the summer months at work we keep a cooler of iced waters in the cab with us. If i see a guy on the side of the road, they get one. Usually greatful. I have pumped 10 bucks of gas for a guy that shook my hand repeatedly as he said he was trying to go see his kid and was not sure he had enough gas to make it.
To speak to mental illness, there is a guy around here, @Old Smokey i am sure you have seen him. He likes to hang out at target. See him all over town with the same bag, wandering. One day with the fam we were in the check out line at target and he was standing behind the lines with a package of bologne. I tried to give him money to buy it and he would not accept it, he also would not let me buy it. The cashier said he comes in from time to time and does this. He will have the money to buy it, but will not take money directly from another person. If he sees you drop it by him and walk away, he will not touch it. Its a mental disorder that he struggles with. He pays with exact change so as not to take money from a cashier. Very sad that people have to deal with these issues and disorders.
Ive been eyeing this thread for a while, as i have a few stories worth repeating. I worked for a couple years as a bank security officer for BoA in Boston. I was on the patrol side as opposed to the poor saps stuckstanding in front of banks. First little nugget I'll drop in here is a guy and his girlfriend, in one of the worse sections of town.. About 2am, ask me for money for food... Im of the give them what they ask for mentality and my wife packed me Rediculous amounts of food, so i told them i had some food in the car i could share with them... The girl loses it.. We didn't ask for food... We asked for money! Told them food was my offer and guy said food is good enough for me! I havent eaten in a few days. Woman continued her tirade while the guy came over and got a sandwich and an orange. I heard him tell the woman as i drove off, No you cant have a bite.... He would've given you a sandwich too, but that wasnt good enough for you!
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Yes, I know exactly who you are talking about. He definately has mental illness and IMO should be taken off the streets and be cared for. It is sad to see.
He is well known at Walmart too. He would buy 5 loaves of bread and wouldn't take his change. If he did, he would throw it.
A man with mental illness i dealt with, always had his "armor" on... Always Had a baseball catchers vest, leather chaps, soccer shin guards, full skater pads w/helmet, and forearm guards. Always had a cart filled with trinkets he had found in the garbage. He had been talking about moving to florida for months, said he was $10 short for a ticket. That year had been particularly cold, and homeless were dying regularly, so i gave him the $10, and though he had escaped the cold. Didn't see him for about a month, instead of the 3-4 times a week that had become the norm. He had saved the unpunched bus ticket, and when i seen him he was really apologetic and explained that he had the ticket and was ready to go, but they wouldnt let him take his stuff, he couldnt just leave it, so he was stuck in the cold.
The mental hospitals that these people used to be in were very broken... But instead of closing them and leaving these people to either go to prisons, or the streets was not the right answer.
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The mental hospitals that these people used to be in were very broken... But instead of closing them and leaving these people to either go to prisons, or the streets was not the right answer.
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A lot of these stories about ingratitude, rude, pushy, wasteful people make me think that they are, in fact, the "sickest" of the bunch, those in whom we have a real chance to practice patience, charity, gratitude. I really like a book called "Diary of a City Priest." The writer dealt everyday with homeless, drug addicts, etc etc, and how he tried to maintain his spirit in the face of it all. He used a quote in that book that I'll try to remember verbatim: "The true act of charity, where the roles of beggar and benefactor are not reinforced, is more rare, more a miracle, than walking on water."
redneck_toy
Fuente Fanboy
I'll help someone out if my gut instinct tells me too. One year, right after we moved from Fort Worth to where we are now, we were driving back to Fort Worth for Christmas with the families. Temps in the low 20's, wind blowing 20+ MPH, and snowing pretty good. We pull into a McDonalds in Amarillo to eat breakfast, and in the area between the outer and inner doors is a homeless man standing in there acting like he's reading the headlines from the paper machines.
His ratty backpack was outside in the snow. I could tell he was genuinely destitute, and just trying to stay warm. After we order and sit down I see the man donning his pack and started to take off. I told my wife I want to buy him breakfast. Went outside and stopped the guy to talk to him. He was reluctant to take anything at first, but persuaded him when he said he hasn't eaten in a couple days. I bring him in, we get to the counter. I tell him order whatever he wants He shrugs and says he's never eaten there before. He wouldn't look anyone in the eye either.
Staring at the floor, He asks what I'm eating I told him biscuits and gravy. He says that sounds great, and orders some. I told the lady to make it two servings and a large coffee. He tried to protest the double serving.
When his food came, he didnt want to sit inside saying no one wanted him there. I told him he's a customer and he can eat here like everyone else.
He ate really slow, and when we were leaving, I told him to get a refill of coffee, that they were free. His eyes got huge and asked, Really? Yup, I told him. His eyes fill up with tears and thanks me over and over.
Walking out I asked the cashier if it was a problem for him to stay a while, and she said not at all. I told her to make sure he leaves with a full cup of coffee as well.
This man was ashamed of where he was in life, but he would not take a dime from me. I offered several times.
My wife was almost in tears as well.
His ratty backpack was outside in the snow. I could tell he was genuinely destitute, and just trying to stay warm. After we order and sit down I see the man donning his pack and started to take off. I told my wife I want to buy him breakfast. Went outside and stopped the guy to talk to him. He was reluctant to take anything at first, but persuaded him when he said he hasn't eaten in a couple days. I bring him in, we get to the counter. I tell him order whatever he wants He shrugs and says he's never eaten there before. He wouldn't look anyone in the eye either.
Staring at the floor, He asks what I'm eating I told him biscuits and gravy. He says that sounds great, and orders some. I told the lady to make it two servings and a large coffee. He tried to protest the double serving.
When his food came, he didnt want to sit inside saying no one wanted him there. I told him he's a customer and he can eat here like everyone else.
He ate really slow, and when we were leaving, I told him to get a refill of coffee, that they were free. His eyes got huge and asked, Really? Yup, I told him. His eyes fill up with tears and thanks me over and over.
Walking out I asked the cashier if it was a problem for him to stay a while, and she said not at all. I told her to make sure he leaves with a full cup of coffee as well.
This man was ashamed of where he was in life, but he would not take a dime from me. I offered several times.
My wife was almost in tears as well.
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kit_luce
To the ones we can save, and those we can't.
Being in EMS we deal with the homeless population very very often. Sometimes we take someone to the hospital for whatever made up reason and then later in the night we take them to the other hospital after they get discharged from the first. Does it get old? Yes, it does, but if its sub zero, or storming, or whatever mother nature is slinging down I cant blame them for wanting to get some shelter. I have no problem whatsoever giving someone food, water, etc. But cash? No, because odds are they are headed to further their addiction. When we get a new homeless person that cant find work or whatever, I tell them to go apply at the Walmart I used to work at, give them my name, I'll make sure they get a job, they will help them out. I've yet to get a call for refrence. When I worked at that Walmart though there were several times I would see someone park a car nicer than mine in the parking lot, and walk out to the road to start panhandling. That pisses me off to no end. And as mentioned above, looks at the shoes, clothes, and hair too, you can tell how clean they are pretty quick. The ones with mental illness are the most difficult, because mental illness is plaguing this country, from homeless to not homeless, the system is broken.
As you said "look at the clothes, shoes..."
We had a guy a couple years ago standing at an intersection saying he was homeless, needed work etc... he was wearing Beats headphones, Oakley sunglasses and with a fresh haircut and shave. Not buying it for a second.