Phrases That Annoy You at Work
- Thread starter caudio51
- Start date
1. We need to stick with our core competencies.
2. I believe it's time for a paradigm shift.
and the one that really pisses me off ...
3. Sorry, but there is no room in the budget for salary increases this year. :cursing:
2. I believe it's time for a paradigm shift.
and the one that really pisses me off ...
3. Sorry, but there is no room in the budget for salary increases this year. :cursing:
"can I get a chai tea latte with soy?"
"can I have a glass of water"
First of all what happened to "may I. . . " and second of all there's a reason it's listed as "chai" on our menu; we understand that chai is tea, and we can guess, because of effin' starbucks, that you want it in latte form. And I swear to God if I could charge for water I would! I've actually had nightmares about working at a bar and everyone ordering water.
"can I have a glass of water"
First of all what happened to "may I. . . " and second of all there's a reason it's listed as "chai" on our menu; we understand that chai is tea, and we can guess, because of effin' starbucks, that you want it in latte form. And I swear to God if I could charge for water I would! I've actually had nightmares about working at a bar and everyone ordering water.
In this case it's not annoying, just kind of comical. I work with a guy who has a list of cliche's that he uses endlessly.
He's always looking to "Cross paths" so we can "put our heads together" and "come up with a battle plan" before we "saddle up" and "fly into" something. Which makes perfect sense. That way we're not "bumping heads" or "cutting off our nose to spite our face" when we "run it up the flagpole".
He's always looking to "Cross paths" so we can "put our heads together" and "come up with a battle plan" before we "saddle up" and "fly into" something. Which makes perfect sense. That way we're not "bumping heads" or "cutting off our nose to spite our face" when we "run it up the flagpole".
"Could you get me X by the end of the day? Thank."
Like I had no other plans to do REAL work I am support to finish on schedule. Now I have to do some stupid document so that the upper management can re-justify me doing the work that they have already committed to having completed on time. And like saying Thanks at the end makes it alright. I sometimes feel like I live in a Dilbert cartoon.
Like I had no other plans to do REAL work I am support to finish on schedule. Now I have to do some stupid document so that the upper management can re-justify me doing the work that they have already committed to having completed on time. And like saying Thanks at the end makes it alright. I sometimes feel like I live in a Dilbert cartoon.
1. The Check is in the mail.........
2. Its not my fault...its Verizon's......
3. But it worked yesterday.....
4. And the Best of them all....."No Problem"
2. Its not my fault...its Verizon's......
3. But it worked yesterday.....
4. And the Best of them all....."No Problem"
AZsteelman
April 2006 BoM
AT THE END OF THE DAY.....
I hear this one all the time...at the end of the day, we are in this to make money; or at the end of the day, we aren't going to lose any market share. I hate this one...
I hear this one all the time...at the end of the day, we are in this to make money; or at the end of the day, we aren't going to lose any market share. I hate this one...
Obligatory Post:
Business Meeting Bingo
Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Monotone voices burbling on and on like a creek for hours on end, forcing you to look for the nearest sharp object or length of wire to end it all. Here's a way to change all of that... Meeting Bingo!
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5"x5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
synergy
strategic fit
core competencies
best practice
bottom line
revisit
take that off-line
24/7
out of the loop
benchmark
value-added
proactive
win-win
think outside the box
fast track
result-driven
empower
knowledge base
solution
touch base
mindset
client focus
paradigm
game plan
leverage
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"
Testimonials from satisfied "Meeting Bingo" players:
"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."
- Jack W., Boston
"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."
- David D., Florida
"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win."
- Bill R., New York City
"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Denver
"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours." - Kathleen L., Atlanta
Business Meeting Bingo
Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Monotone voices burbling on and on like a creek for hours on end, forcing you to look for the nearest sharp object or length of wire to end it all. Here's a way to change all of that... Meeting Bingo!
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5"x5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
synergy
strategic fit
core competencies
best practice
bottom line
revisit
take that off-line
24/7
out of the loop
benchmark
value-added
proactive
win-win
think outside the box
fast track
result-driven
empower
knowledge base
solution
touch base
mindset
client focus
paradigm
game plan
leverage
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"
Testimonials from satisfied "Meeting Bingo" players:
"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."
- Jack W., Boston
"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."
- David D., Florida
"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win."
- Bill R., New York City
"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Denver
"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours." - Kathleen L., Atlanta
AZsteelman
April 2006 BoM
really sick man! I'm gonna try it, though
"TOWN HALLS"geoffrie said:
Thats me. I can't FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFking stand "townhall" meetings. They are such bullshit, and the people who sit in the audience hang on every word and slurp the bullshit as it spews from the speakers mouth.
They are "team building" events. Fuck the team, just give me my paycheck. You really need these meetings to teach you to work hard and together? I'm going to work hard either way, just don't sit me down in a "town hall" and tell me how great the forecast looks, then reduce or cut bonuses.