Situation

[Pietastervw]

He wants to come over this weekend and do some shooting and smoking. I told him we can clean up my range a bit and shoot but if he's going to smoke then he needs to bring his own or I'll make the selection out of my selection for him. He admits he hasn't enjoyed smoking lately but wanted to try another this weekend.

Am I nuts, being to picky about it? I guess I'm tired of watching him waste good cigars w/o so much as a thanks for the smoke.

What would you do?

Personally this is what I would do. My friends know me well enough that don't have tons of cash and the "better" cigars that I have I budget for. I'd kinda get tired of watching my money get thrown away and its not because my friend isn't worth the $9 stick, but if your going to pitch it I'd rather enjoy the WHOLE thing myself. I mean you said its happened the last 4 times and he admittedly said he's not enjoying it. If it was only once I wouldn't say a thing, just wouldn't want it being made a habit of.

 

[ciggy]

If your friend isn't worth $9 you really need to reevaluate your friendship. They are just cigars and my friend can take and do what he wants with whatever I have. If I can throw away a $20+ stick after less than half because it doesn't do it for me my friend sure as hell can as well.

Well...that works both ways. If he's a good friend he would mind wasting a stick you paid your hard earned money for.

Just curious, does he ever come over with cigars and offer you one?

Yep...my question too.

I dont like to waste a real good cigar on a casual smoker who does not appreciate a better cigar. So i keep a friends humidor, and dont care what they choose out of it. I also have a high end humidor that nobody goes into but me.

For a friend who's a casual smoker I do the same.

 

[D Quintero]

smoking half is old school.

if one of my buds can say, appreciate 1rst halves and not really taking a liking to the 2nd on most.

that makes perfect sense to me.

I just may take the same approach for a change of pace.

 

[Fourtotheflush]

Well, maybe look at it from this angle.

Maybe, as he is a casual smoker, these expensive sticks are just too powerful for him and he has to put them down half way. Maybe just suggest that he try something a little on the milder side so that he may enjoy it more.

This could get tricky if you come off as challenging him that he cannot handle stronger cigars, but if done right this could solve your problem.

I know lots of people who have smoked cigars for a long time that dont enjoy the high test cigars that are basically all the rage now a days.

 

[Highlander]

When ever I have friends over and offer them smokes, I tell them whats off limits.

"Anything you want except the '64 Padrons"...

They are all cigar nuts, and this arrangement is fine with them since they use the same line when we visit each others house.

If they aren't regular smokers like a neighbor of mine I usually make the selection for him. Usually a good stick but not the best.

 

[Bad Finger]

Or, if he is a good friend, buy him a humidor for his birthday so he'll start buying his own sticks.

 

[GoingPostal]

I dont like to waste a real good cigar on a casual smoker who does not appreciate a better cigar. So i keep a friends humidor, and dont care what they choose out of it. I also have a high end humidor that nobody goes into but me.

This is what i do, i have my general humidor and then a smaller "private stock" humi. if someone comes over wants a smoke they can pick what they like and i dont feel bad.

When ever I have friends over and offer them smokes, I tell them whats off limits.
"Anything you want except the '64 Padrons"...

this is good also

 

[mikemets]

w/o so much as a thanks for the smoke.

If a guy is welcome at my house, then he's welcome to my cigars, but the above would be a problem for me.

 

[strife]

I give my nephew (not a regular smoker) the Acids that JD threw me (sorry JD) and he seems to like them just fine.

 

[NCost]

Just curious, does he ever come over with cigars and offer you one?

Nope. :nono:

Some good advice and I see I'm in line w/ most of your thinking.

Typically, I have no problem w/ someone taking whatever they want. But if I hand you two $10 bills and you wipe your arse with one, the next time I'll only hand you one. Just the way I am I guess. :smokingme

I really don't need to evaluate my friendship w/ the guy and it has nothing to do with the money, but more w/ the appreciation of what is mine is his and that it feels like he more or less takes advantage of it.

I have the extra cash and can afford the sticks, he really can't at the moment, so smoking my stash doesn't bother me. But don't be wasteful and then not appreciate it.

Thanks for all the input.

 

[JNT]

Once or twice on occasion, I say is forgivable. Gift or no gift, every time, I think that gets rude, and disrespectful, especially if he is a cigar smoker, and knows the cost. If he doesn't realize the cost I would try and point it out via a joke.

It's kinda like having people over for dinner, and your bud always stacks his plate, has a some bites, then chucks the rest of the food in the garbage. If you cant handle it all, then don't take as much.

I would tease him by suggesting he grab a smaller, less expensive stick, if he can't handle it, then deflect the issue by calling him a pussy, and getting him to man up.

 

[Herfin' Harg]

I would tease him by suggesting he grab a smaller, less expensive stick, if he can't handle it, then deflect the issue by calling him a pussy, and getting him to man up.

That was awesome...

I particularly like the "deflect the issue by calling him a pussy" part.

 

[Bsneed51]

I'm of the logic that if he's a good friend, and a BOTL, he shoud realize that he's not necessarily in the mood to smoke a whole cigar. He shouldn't be grabbing the really good stuff knowing there is a chance he won't smoke it all. Hell, I will barely grab a good cigar out of my buddies humidors even if I know I will smoke and enjoy the whole thing. If they open their humi and offer, I almost always tell them to pick something out for me. Or I'll reach for a Padron 2K, or something of similar price I know I will enjoy.

 

[TreeFrog Frank]

Well, maybe look at it from this angle.

Maybe, as he is a casual smoker, these expensive sticks are just too powerful for him and he has to put them down half way. Maybe just suggest that he try something a little on the milder side so that he may enjoy it more.

I was thinking along these lines...

If he's having a hard time getting into cigars, right now, you could suggest some sticks that are maybe a little milder? ... or maybe a different kind of profile than he usually tries... This way, you won't come off trying to push something just "cheap" at him, you'll actually be trying to help him find a new profile that might work better for him.

But the unappreciative thing bothers me...

 

[TreeFrog Frank]

I'm of the logic that if he's a good friend, and a BOTL, he shoud realize that he's not necessarily in the mood to smoke a whole cigar. He shouldn't be grabbing the really good stuff knowing there is a chance he won't smoke it all. Hell, I will barely grab a good cigar out of my buddies humidors even if I know I will smoke and enjoy the whole thing. If they open their humi and offer, I almost always tell them to pick something out for me. Or I'll reach for a Padron 2K, or something of similar price I know I will enjoy.

... this, too. If I'm picking from a friend's stash (not 'stache ... LOL), I will pick something that is lower priced, or something they have a lot of, or something similar; I feel bad taking pricier, or more celebratory, cigars from my friends.

 

[Ranger_B]

Excatly why I keep the moochadoor around. When I have friends over I keep my less expensive cigars that are great values in a small humidor and when friends who dont smoke often come over we smoke from that. I am all for sharing and I want my friends to enjoy what they smoke. Maybe he should try dunhills your only supposed to smoke them halfway arent you?

 

[Dr. Xikar]

Regardless they still can have their choice of what they want to try. If your wife wanted a pocket knife I bet you;d buy it for her, and if your BOTL wanted a purse you may look at him odd but you'd get it for him if that's what he was in to. Friendship isn't about giving him a cheaper stick because he won't know the difference. It's about what's mine is yours and you take what you think you'll enjoy. These are just cigars and not worth being upset over if someone puts it out.

But if he isn't enjoying it... Didn't the OP say that his friend had openly said he wasn't getting as much out of cigars? And in my analogy, my friend ENJOYS BOTH THE SAME, one just costs me less.

I'm not saying cheap out on your friend. I'm just sayign when it doesn't matter to him, do what's easiest/best for you.

 

[KiloWhiskey]

Not liking a cigar from time to time happens to all of us. I personally have no problem with that if one of those cigars not liked by a friend came from me.

Can't put a price on it if he is a friend....blah, blah. $9 is $9 whether it is bills or a cigar. Your friend has done this repeatedly and said he hasn't been enjoying smoking lately.

If I tell my girlfriend I'm having sex with another woman and she encourages me to keep having sex with this woman...I'll continue doing it.

If a restaurant gives me a free bottle of vintage high-value wine every time I eat dinner there, I will go there to eat.

If I go to my butcher and he keeps giving me free good quality prime rib, even though I've told him repeatedly I'm not a big fan of prime rib....I'll take it home and try it and eventually throw it out or give it away to someone that does like it.

I think you get the picture... It's your fault not his. He has told you that he is not enjoying smoking lately and you keep giving him the good stuff. $9 is $9 my friend. You can't always be the nice guy. The guys in this thread have made a few great suggestions on what you should do. You need to step-up and set boundaries with your friend, because he is taking advantage (whether directly or indirectly) of your kindness. Good friends will learn how you are and accept you as you are. I don't think you'll loose his friendship if you set boundaries with the cigars. If you do loose a friend, he wasn't a friend.

I am generous with my cigars to my friends. But I have also learned which of my friends are finicky, which ones appreciate a fine cigar, and which ones rarely ever finish a cigar. I adjust my range of cigars offered for each one.

 

[NCost]

Just tried my first Tat Series P Sumatra and these will now be my go to for those that can't handle stronger stuff.

Great smokes for a good price.

 

[ericdriscoll]

Regardless they still can have their choice of what they want to try. If your wife wanted a pocket knife I bet you;d buy it for her, and if your BOTL wanted a purse you may look at him odd but you'd get it for him if that's what he was in to. Friendship isn't about giving him a cheaper stick because he won't know the difference. It's about what's mine is yours and you take what you think you'll enjoy. These are just cigars and not worth being upset over if someone puts it out.

Alright Jayro I'll buy you a damn purse!