Bump for Let's Talk day in Canada.
Sobriety Thread
- Thread starter zama80
- Start date
Funny that this would come up now after a few months. I think I had my last drink a few nights ago. Not an end of the rope, rock bottom, but enough to make me realize I need a change. Not sure I'll NEVER drink again, but I certainly need to moderate far better. I've been to rehab and know the steps. I'm just not sure that's the proper format for me.
Anyway, what advice would you guys with a few years sobriety give me? Does it ever get easier? Most importantly, has sobriety brought you peace? Sorry for a long post, but if you read this far, you might have good advice!
Anyway, what advice would you guys with a few years sobriety give me? Does it ever get easier? Most importantly, has sobriety brought you peace? Sorry for a long post, but if you read this far, you might have good advice!
Hey brother, I am glad you posted. And do not worry about a long post, write as much as you need to. I am going to give you some harsh reality, if alcohol is fucking up your life, and you have never been able to moderate your intake, trying the same thing again probably is not going to work. But to answer your question. Yes, it gets much easier, and it will bring you peace, but only if you work at it. But, unless you surrender to alcohol, that peace is almost impossible to attain and it will never be easy. Unless you can fully admit that you are an alcoholic and that you are powerless over alcohol, you will continue down the road of misery and disappointment. If your issue with step programs is the higher power thing, then I have been in those shoes too. If you need to talk, please feel free to PM me. Having said all of that, It takes a lot of guts to post what you did and admit what you have to all of us. I truly hope that you find the peace you seek, and strength you need to attain it.
Hey man, glad you posted. Here's man 2 cents on this, take it for what it's worth. I'm not an authority on this stuff, by any means, I've just been recovering since 2008.
"Controlled drinking" (moderation) didn't work for me. I'm just not good at moderating myself with most things in life. I go balls to the wall, or I don't do it at all. 12 step isn't the only solution, and it's not for everyone (I think in Europe they try to teach controlled drinking); however, 12 step is the solution that worked for me, and it's done wonders to my life. Early sobriety sucks; my father (recovering since 1998) told me early on "If I had told you how much it sucked, you wouldn't have done it." I'm glad I got through the early stages though, because life got exponentially better as the weeks turned to months, turned to years, and so on. Sobriety has brought me a lot of peace; that's not to say I don't have problems, and I'm not some kind of monk. However, I don't wake up miserable anymore. My lows aren't nearly as low as they were 7 years ago. I don't feel the hate and anger that I once felt. I should say, that all of those feelings are not from "quitting drinking," per se, but from doing step work. For me, going through the steps is what made me whole, not putting drugs and alcohol down (although, that's an AMAZING start.) Another thing my old man always told me: "Alcohol was never my problem; I was my problem. Alcohol was just a solution for a while." The steps are what heal me, not the act of quitting.
The best advice I can give (although again, I'm not really in a position to give advice), is to stay stopped drinking for a little bit, and keep an open mind to all solutions. My guess is that drinking has been a problem off and on for you (since you went to rehab), so it may be good to take a break and try to weigh all your options objectively. Maybe 12 step isn't the answer for you, maybe you should try therapy, psychiatry, exercise, prayer, etc. However, I think most options start with not drinking, so give yourself a break.
3/5King
Shwing!
In the beginning, the thought of never drinking again was a scary thought. I actually couldn't wrap my head around it but if you surround yourself with the right people and take it seriously, you'll rise above that scary beginning and will find more fulfillment and joy out of life and in sobriety. It's a gratifying feeling to know that I'm sober and that I made the decision to be this way. It eventually gives you strength and is one of the most powerful feelings to know that alcohol (or drugs) doesn't control my life anymore and I am now the one in control.
So yes, it does get easier but you have to put in the effort just like any other thing in life worth doing and Yes, eventually you will find great satisfaction in sobriety. If you need anything, ask. Good job one your recent accomplishment! one day at a time bro.
So yes, it does get easier but you have to put in the effort just like any other thing in life worth doing and Yes, eventually you will find great satisfaction in sobriety. If you need anything, ask. Good job one your recent accomplishment! one day at a time bro.
I think itsbarbarino is right in most options start with not drinking. The main reason i got out of the military was the the drinking. I came home for a 5 day leave and leading up to that i had been drinking heavy almost every night, when i got home i wasout with friends and drank 1quart of vodka, 2.5 pints of rum and too many beers to keep track of and still able to walk a stright line. A few month later i got out and stopped drinking for almost 2 years before i trusted myself drinking again. Now i almost never get drunk, and rarely have more then 2 drinks when i do drink. What i did is not for everyone but it has worked for me. I hope everyone can find their path to get back in control and from what i have seen here there is one hell of a support group right here waiting to lend a hand.
ChefBoyRG54
BoM Sept '14 & BoY 2014
Not sure how I missed this for two days.
Like others, I won't lie to you either. It gets better.....waaaaaaay better.
Takes work, effort, awkward new things etc but let's slow down and just focus on not drinking today. Better yet, just for this specific moment.
Beyond that, I always believed that if I even have to debate whether control is possible or not, then I already lost it. The so-called normal drinker doesn't ever discuss controlling it because when you do have control you just do it. Get my gist
We're all here to support you anyway we can. Please, just ask!
Hey guys. I appreciate everyone's support and encouragement. It's been helpful. I've come back and read this thread a few time the last few (sober) weeks. It's been great. Some hard moments but nothing horrible yet.
Avvatar, I am glad you have identified you have a problem and made the decision to make some change. I strongly encourage you to seek out your local AA. Those rooms are full of some wonderful people who are successfully doing what you hope to do.
Making the decision is a good thing, but that alone rarely seems to work for most. Follow your decision up with some action (attend meetings) and work towards finding the solution. There is much more to sobriety than just not drinking. Taking that action is where you will find true sobriety along with peace and happiness. It works my friend.
24 years ago tonight I was sitting alone, drunk on my ass, miserable and hopeless. The only solution I could think of was to put a gun in my mouth. A friend got me some help and I haven't found it necessary to take a drink since.
Looking back, it seems impossible to be where I was and where I am today. It truly is a miracle. I found the miracle in the rooms of AA. Don't leave before the miracle happens for you.
Making the decision is a good thing, but that alone rarely seems to work for most. Follow your decision up with some action (attend meetings) and work towards finding the solution. There is much more to sobriety than just not drinking. Taking that action is where you will find true sobriety along with peace and happiness. It works my friend.
24 years ago tonight I was sitting alone, drunk on my ass, miserable and hopeless. The only solution I could think of was to put a gun in my mouth. A friend got me some help and I haven't found it necessary to take a drink since.
Looking back, it seems impossible to be where I was and where I am today. It truly is a miracle. I found the miracle in the rooms of AA. Don't leave before the miracle happens for you.
That's great advice. I have been planning on going to meetings. I know the local schedule. Work keeps me tied up until after alot of the meetings (small town). I have a good group of guys at my church that know what I'm doing and going through. They're helping out. It's not working the steps, but it's helping.
Sober since November 6th 2012! I quit before my daughter was born, couldn't bear to let my daughter see me with a drink in my hand and drunk. I quit when I was 25, so any younger guys that need to vent/chat feel free to reach out. More than happy to help. I am always surprised how many sober people I find are into cigars. Met a close friend a few years ago at my cigar shop, he's been sober a few more years than I have. Awesome stuff!
Shaun
Shaun
That's pretty much what did it for me. I woke up on the couch at 3:30 am. It would have killed me if my daughter had seen daddy passed out like that. Also, I spent too much money we don't have on cigars that night. I decided I needed to change.
3/5King
Shwing!
Keep it up man. Always around if things ever get heavy or even if they're light and you just want to bullshit. See you in chat!
ChefBoyRG54
BoM Sept '14 & BoY 2014
9 years as of yesterday
Congrats Ryan! Keep coming back, brother. Thanks for keeping me sober today9 years as of yesterday
3/5King
Shwing!
One foot in front of the other will bring you where ever you want to go... Congratulations Ryan. Can't believe I missed it yesterday, sorry brother. And what a way to celebrate with your wifey out in paradise...soak it up brother' it don't get no better!9 years as of yesterday
luckysaturn13
Smoke it if ya got it!
Just wanted to give a shout out to all my fellow sober botls! After drinking for about 12 years straight I woke up on 7-5-14 and decided to quit for good. for my family. Most nights I could control it but several times a year Id have a few drinks and snap into all out bender mode with no reserves. It would get really really crazy. I'm talking straight up hangover movie type stuff crazy. Which was fun in the moment but not good for a family man. My sons two now and after I woke up on 7-5 and faced the music for all the crazy shit I did the night before I just decided I have had enough and wanted to be there for my future wife and my son. I'm not the group help type guy so I called my dr and a few people that specialize in what I was going through. No one could help me for a week or so. I decided to just do it on my own with my family by my side. The first two weeks were the toughest. After that it was really hard for a month or so learning how to deal with my real emotions that weren't drowned out. After that it just came easy. I wish others could just flip the switch the way I did but I know most people cant. Luckily I was able to quit when I was down but not quite out yet. The most helpful thing was giving all the liquor away in my house. It didn't hurt too bad because all my scotch was gone from the night before I'm proud to say I haven't cheated since. I came close once or twice but I was able to resist! I do enjoy a na O'dools from time to time. They don't make me crave but I cant recommend it for every one.
It would get really really crazy. I'm talking straight up hangover movie type stuff crazy. Which was fun in the moment but not good for a family man. My sons two now and after I woke up on 7-5 and faced the music for all the crazy shit I did the night before I just decided I have had enough and wanted to be there for my future wife and my son. I'm not the group help type guy so I called my dr and a few people that specialize in what I was going through. No one could help me for a week or so. I decided to just do it on my own with my family by my side. The first two weeks were the toughest. After that it was really hard for a month or so learning how to deal with my real emotions that weren't drowned out. After that it just came easy. I wish others could just flip the switch the way I did but I know most people cant. Luckily I was able to quit when I was down but not quite out yet. The most helpful thing was giving all the liquor away in my house. It didn't hurt too bad because all my scotch was gone from the night before I'm proud to say I haven't cheated since. I came close once or twice but I was able to resist! I do enjoy a na O'dools from time to time. They don't make me crave but I cant recommend it for every one.
3/5King
Shwing!
Great job brother. I love it. Keep up the good work, your family deserves a sober you and you deserve a sober you. Keep kicking ass man!Just wanted to give a shout out to all my fellow sober botls! After drinking for about 12 years straight I woke up on 7-5-14 and decided to quit for good. for my family. Most nights I could control it but several times a year Id have a few drinks and snap into all out bender mode with no reserves.