like most guys have said, trying to make sure the ENTIRE head of the cigar is EVENLY lit, using the minimum of heat, over the smallest area, is one of the best ways to preserve and promote flavor from the start of a smoke. slowly toasting the foot with a torch first is the easiest and most accessible way of doing this for most of us. FWIW, that is why i LOVE my lighter; something with both a torch and soft flame allows for the toasting to an even char, then a soft gradual lighting of the smoke, at a substantially lower temp, with the soft flame. if you can find a lighter that has this feature, i HIGHLY recommend it.
also, this theary works for my pipers as well, and why we use the false/ charring light and true light. brute force is efficient, but results are better with time and finesse. and the nuance of flavor and texture are really what it is about anyway. o)
also, sorry that you had a mentor who tried to micromanage everything on you. that sucks. it is one thing to instruct, but he kinda sounded like an ass...