Today's the day...
- Thread starter RyJ Smoker
- Start date
I haven't had your experience personally, but I've worked with many people who were struggling with relationship problems and marriage dissolution. I hate to parrot, but you've gotten some great advice from other BOTLs:
Don't isolate. I know it is enticing but be around people who care about you (in person... the board is great but you need physical contact.
Don't rush into any relationships, but don't walk around like you are married and not allowed to look. Harder said than done, but remember the bigger picture. You have a child.
Be happy you still have a friendship with your now ex-wife. These don't come cheap, are easy to loose, and damn near impossible to get back. With a daughter I would place a priority on keeping things mellow.
If things get overwhelming, be willing to ask for help. Be it from your friends or a professional. You will need support. You are accustomed to having someone there. There is no reason that should stop just because your marriage has come to a crossroads.
Don't give up who you've become to be who you were. Relationships change us all, some for better and some for worse. Don't throw out the baby with the bath water.
Other than the obligatory responses, I wish you the best of luck and remember: one chapters end is another beginning. Enjoy it and get that happiness you know you want and deserve, brother!
Don't isolate. I know it is enticing but be around people who care about you (in person... the board is great but you need physical contact.
Don't rush into any relationships, but don't walk around like you are married and not allowed to look. Harder said than done, but remember the bigger picture. You have a child.
Be happy you still have a friendship with your now ex-wife. These don't come cheap, are easy to loose, and damn near impossible to get back. With a daughter I would place a priority on keeping things mellow.
If things get overwhelming, be willing to ask for help. Be it from your friends or a professional. You will need support. You are accustomed to having someone there. There is no reason that should stop just because your marriage has come to a crossroads.
Don't give up who you've become to be who you were. Relationships change us all, some for better and some for worse. Don't throw out the baby with the bath water.
Other than the obligatory responses, I wish you the best of luck and remember: one chapters end is another beginning. Enjoy it and get that happiness you know you want and deserve, brother!
smokemifugotem
BoM July '10
Thoughts and prayers with you Jeff! Godspeed brother!
javajunkie
BoM July '12
dude, sorry to hear, but you will pull through and adjust. dave is making a scary amount of sense, and all the guys here, myself included, mean itwhen we say we are pulling for you and are there for you in any way we can be. this may be on the Internet, but BotL is NOT just a site, it is a reall collection of people. don't dismiss it. and don't dismiss offers from friends and family either; it is to easy to pull away thinking that the offers are there for propriety and not entirely meant. REACH OUT to anyone who offers and anyone you need to.
and thanks for letting us know. it means a lot that you shared that here. my heart goes out to you while you explore the new areas of your life, and i know you will make it work and make it better in the end. in the meantime, lean on us. o)
and thanks for letting us know. it means a lot that you shared that here. my heart goes out to you while you explore the new areas of your life, and i know you will make it work and make it better in the end. in the meantime, lean on us. o)
Sending good thoughts your way brother. Stay strong and keep your head up always, instead of thinking of this as an ending, change the perspective and embrace a new beginning. Take everything you've learned up to this point and tailor it to build yourself a new life where you can be as happy as you deserve. I think all of us get wrapped up in the daily grind from time to time and lose sight of what's really important. Now you have your daughter and the foundation to build an incredible life for both of you. Total happiness and freedom. Stay strong brother, we're here for you!
Jeff, you have a lot of friends here and I for one will be praying for you and family. I know what you are going through as well so I can empathize; it is not easy but doable. Like the song says, :Lean on me when your not strong". Thank you for letting us know the situation and keep us posted or call when you need a friend.
Wow....I'm blown away and humbled by all of ur responses, pm's, text messages and phone calls. Yesterday was very difficult for me. Had the help of 2 great friends to help with my furniture an TV, as over the past week I've gotten my new place 85% complete....ocd, lol.
We finished not only unloading everything by 10pm, but it's all setup. Went to BW3's in Barrington for wings and cocktails once we were done and had a good time. I went back to my old house at 6am this morning to get my dog (Chloe) and now we're waiting for DIRECTV to get here.
Friends left around 8am, so the whole being alone is sinking in. Sucks. Thinking I'll go smoke an '85 RyJ Churchill Tubo to start this new chapter off right. If anyone's in the area, I'll bring the smokes
Again, thank u all for ur thoughts and prayers. It helps more than u could possibly know.
Your friend and brother,
Jeffrey L.
We finished not only unloading everything by 10pm, but it's all setup. Went to BW3's in Barrington for wings and cocktails once we were done and had a good time. I went back to my old house at 6am this morning to get my dog (Chloe) and now we're waiting for DIRECTV to get here.
Friends left around 8am, so the whole being alone is sinking in. Sucks. Thinking I'll go smoke an '85 RyJ Churchill Tubo to start this new chapter off right. If anyone's in the area, I'll bring the smokes
Again, thank u all for ur thoughts and prayers. It helps more than u could possibly know.
Your friend and brother,
Jeffrey L.
Last night was the 1st time I've had my daughter here at the new place I have her every Tuesday night- Thursday morning, along with every other weekend
Had such a great time with her last night. As I'm writing this, I'm still trying to figure out what my routine will b for when she's here. She's moving around so much, I can't really take my eyes off her. A lot easier to do with two people, but I'll figure it out.....just waiting for her to wake up.
Super-excited to go shopping with her this weekend, as i absolutely LOVE when she's in a shopping cart, kicking her pudgy little legs
Mounted my TV last night once Isabella went to sleep, so that was my project to keep me busy
I have her every Tuesday night- Thursday morning, along with every other weekend Had such a great time with her last night. As I'm writing this, I'm still trying to figure out what my routine will b for when she's here. She's moving around so much, I can't really take my eyes off her. A lot easier to do with two people, but I'll figure it out.....just waiting for her to wake up.
Super-excited to go shopping with her this weekend, as i absolutely LOVE when she's in a shopping cart, kicking her pudgy little legs
Mounted my TV last night once Isabella went to sleep, so that was my project to keep me busy
Sounds good nice job in the mount looks clean. That's a procrastination activity for me lolLast night was the 1st time I've had my daughter here at the new place
Had such a great time with her last night. As I'm writing this, I'm still trying to figure out what my routine will b for when she's here. She's moving around so much, I can't really take my eyes off her. A lot easier to do with two people, but I'll figure it out.....just waiting for her to wake up.
Super-excited to go shopping with her this weekend, as i absolutely LOVE when she's in a shopping cart, kicking her pudgy little legs
Mounted my TV last night once Isabella went to sleep, so that was my project to keep me busy
View attachment 28703
Wow brother, just saw this my prayers and thoughts are with you. Hangout with friends and stay busy as much as you can. It will get better.
Thanks, guys. Definitely trying to keep as busy as possible to keep my mind off things.
Looks great!Last night was the 1st time I've had my daughter here at the new place
Had such a great time with her last night. As I'm writing this, I'm still trying to figure out what my routine will b for when she's here. She's moving around so much, I can't really take my eyes off her. A lot easier to do with two people, but I'll figure it out.....just waiting for her to wake up.
Super-excited to go shopping with her this weekend, as i absolutely LOVE when she's in a shopping cart, kicking her pudgy little legs
Mounted my TV last night once Isabella went to sleep, so that was my project to keep me busy
View attachment 28703
ciggy
"TommyBoy"
You know I'm not on here that much right now myself bro so I don't see the postings till a day or so later. We've had the talk and you know you can call me anytime just to BS or lift the spirit. Keep the faith bro! The fact that you and Lins are staying friends puts you both in a better place than most.
Thanks, everyone. My life seems like a Sara Evans song, titled "A Little Bit Stronger".....each day I'm feeling just that.
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