Wife already hates my beard and I haven't even grown it yet?
When I was in the Army, if I had a four day weekend and didn't shave, or came home from the field with a porn 'stache, my wife would lose her shit. HATED any facial hair on me at all. Seriously, it was a row at my place if I didn't scrape my face clean every morning
When I got out, partly as a gag, and partly because I wanted to, I grew a big old Hulk Hogan-esque fu manchu mustache. (I looked ridiculous). After a couple of months, I was like "Enough of this! time to shave." Much to my surprise, the wife was
adamantly against it. Soooooo.... I kept it. After a few years and a slightly better class of employment, I filled it in with a goatee too. Over time, it's developed into a full (though neatly trimmed) beard. The one time in the last fifteen years I've been clean shaven, we nearly divorced.
Turns out, my wife who married a baby-faced, clean shaven, high-and-tight haircut having soldier, has some sort of sliding scale where she likes me more the longer my hair and beard are. This would be great (because I'm essentially lazy and shaving sucks) except that I wear a suit every day. So I have to keep both the hair and the beard neatly trimmed which kind of ruins the whole experience for me. I feel like a douche when I look in the mirror and go "Oh, my beard is starting to really look like a beard. I guess I better trim it!" Clean shaven, I could probably pass for early to mid thirties. With the beard... there is too much gray in it to fool anybody about my age.