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Finding Refuge in Cigar Smoking

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So recently, the girl I love ended things with me. Yes breaking my heart, so recently I've found great refuge in going to my B&M a lot. There are always people there that are really nice and I can sit back and enjoy my cigar and get my mind off things. Anyone else having any other sort of trouble kind of the same. Or anyone have any advice how to get out of a break-up, faster or the best way?

Fellow Brother,
Blockhead
 

Craig Mac

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Sounds like you got it figured out. Whatever you can do to occupy your mind/time is good and the camaraderie that the lounge offers is a great place to relax and think about other things.
 
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Time heels all wounds. Cigars are better than getting drunk to forget. I think you've hit on a good idea to pass the time.

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StogieNinja

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Sometimes things just don't work out, but more often, breakups are the result of a bunch of little things done wrong, almost never by just one party. You asked advice on how to move on - personally, I wouldn't move on until I'd taken some time to evaluate why the relationship ended, and where I could have improved. It'll be easy to try and figure out what she could have done better, but focus on your own actions and intentions. Seek wise council, not from your buddies, but from older folks with successful, happy, romantic marriages.

Then, make some resolves, and move forward. The most important thing after using the experience to improve, is having a proper perspective, which affects everything.


You're already finding ways to occupy your time which is good, and it sounds like you're gonna be just fine. I would say make sure you don't wallow - don't spend all your time distracting yourself, spend your time making sure you're a better man for when the next girl comes along.
 
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Know and take comfort in this... that times heals all wounds. With each day passing and with each new experience your heart will mend. To love deeply, you must feel deeply, both the joy and the pain. It is better to love than to love not. Love your cigars, love your solitude and love each day for what it is; time will do its part.

Peace brother...


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Agentskull

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I personally would rather know that things aren't going to work out sooner rather than later. Don't string me along. I can do better.

Yes there was time invested in a prior relationship. Moments you wouldn't trade, but there is also lessons to be learned. When you go into the next one you'll be that much wiser.

Take refuge where you can. Cigars are a wonderful thing for that. People at the lounge are there for more than just cigars. They most likely want to get out of the house and socialize with like minded people. So bounce ideas off them. The more busy you make yourself the less and less you'll think about this girl.
 
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The harsh break-ups help you grow as a person.

The most difficult part is the free time. The time that your previously spent with her. Take up past hobbies that you let go, do things to get yourself back into the game (gym), and go hang with old friends. Regaining your independence is the silver lining.
 

mwlabel

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That's what the BOTL is for. Seriously.

I found more sanity in this place after my soul-crushing breakup than anywhere else. That, and I used my newfound rage to accomplish a lot of stuff: made the Dean's list, went to the gym every day, started training harder for competitions, started a business, etc.

Feel free to PM me any time man. We're here for you.
 

sean

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That's what the BOTL is for. Seriously.

I found more sanity in this place after my soul-crushing breakup than anywhere else. That, and I used my newfound rage to accomplish a lot of stuff: made the Dean's list, went to the gym every day, started training harder for competitions, started a business, etc.

Feel free to PM me any time man. We're here for you.
I second everything Alex says here. Go find your self. Do things for yourself that you couldn't have fine with her...

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Had my heart crushed almost 10 years ago. Thought I would never recover from it.

Two months later I met a woman that was unlike any other woman I had ever dated. I mean literally, complete opposite of the kind of girls I used to go for. We've been happy together ever since, and celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary this October.

My advice: stay busy, until you meet the right person, and don't be afraid to look outside the box because true love might not be in the form you once thought it would be.
 
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Best way to get over one is to get under another. Sorry it happened brother, drink beer, smoke cigars, most of all have fun!


iPhone5 from tapatalk sent was this.
 
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Being single isn't hell. I know this stuff puts a knot in your belly, but that passes. The women that come and go in your life are part of your experience. Appreciate the experience, but now turn the page and start the next chapter. Don't, for a moment, let yourself believe that you have to be with someone to be happy. When you're with someone, appreciate it. When your not, appreciate it. While this probably isn't what you feel right now, you should soon acknowledge that you've just been given the opportunity to raise your fun factor exponentially. The future is pretty hard to see, and ten years from now you may be taking out a home equity for braces for the twins, and driving a minivan. In the meantime, go get a fishing boat or a motorcycle, play poker, smoke cigars, buy a (new) handgun, go to camp and get drunk. Other woman will come along. Actually, a single guy having fun is what brings them in. Go visit some old friend, one plane ticket cost less than two. Go to the strip joint. Live your life and love it.

You're getting a lot of good advice. Sean said, "Go find your self." That's words of wisdom. Jdwaynes is right on, that when the right one comes along, she may come out of nowhere and not be anything like what you'd have been pursuing. (I love his avatar.) Lilninjabuddy expounds like a guru. His thoughts on your responsibilities in a committed relationship are impeccable, but that's not where you and she were, regardless of your feelings. If only one partner is committed, there is no partnership. You may well look back one day and realize that she was the wiser. If you go out searching for another serious relationship, you might as well just tie your own shoelaces together. Let life happen, bask in the experience, and have fun while the gettin' is good.
 
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The harsh break-ups help you grow as a person.
^ This is true, I can attest to it personally. I went through a bad breakup some years ago and had a hard time with it. I learned a lot about myself in the years that followed. It sound cliche, I know, and like others said, time heals. Things will get better, Brother. Keep your head up.
 

KGD

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I'm going through the same thing - all you gotta do is invest your time in yourself and enjoying time with the people around you.

I chose to work more, work out and smoke more.

Don't sulk, go get laid. Call it a day and move on.
 
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When I had my bad break up few years ago I just became a man whore and drank a lot. Hey don't judge... it worked for me. :p
 
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.... better get the boys round and do some drinkin fast .....get yourself a maid and take her on a cruise......better get the boys round and do some drinkin fast



Don't know why, but this was the breakup song I leaned on....have a drink, smoke a good cigar, get some and go fishing....
 
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