Cigar sharing etiquette

[CWS]

My humidor is open to my guests. I ask about experience, type of cigar they smoke, frequency, etc and then I make a suggestion. I have very few junk sticks. I do have some low cost, Diesels etc. If I am smoking a Diesel, they usually want to try one. I don't smoke HTF in front of friends that don't know better. It is silly. Offering a cuban cigar to someone that smokes one cigar a year is a waste for them and you. Offering them a nice Dominican RyJ or similar will give them a smoke that is quality and that they can stomach. They will thank you for it.

We do bourbon and whiskey tastings four or five times a year at my buddy's bar on the patio. I select the cigars, he gets the reps to bring the booze, a we do a nice light dinner. We break even most times as the goal is to have fun. In the beginning I chose cigars I liked, Tatuaje, Drew Ligas, Oliva V etc. Always two cigars. After the events I noticed many half sticks in the ashtrays. Seemed sad. This last one we had 25 men and I had a box of RP Connecticut in my humi so we offered these up with the new La Antiguedad. Now the RP is not something I smoke. Way too mild and I am generally not a Rocky fan since the days of Indian Tobac. (loved those). I had this box that was ordered for a friend who never paid so I though, why not. The response was amazing. Almost everyone LOVED the RP. Best cigar I ever smoked. Can you get more? Wow super cigar. Maybe half smoked the Antiguedad. OH that one was nice too. The moral of the story is that these are men that rarely smoke cigars. Their palate is no where near mine. They cannot take the cigars I smoke. Same with guest. Give the quality mild cigars and they will love you. Match the cigar to the smoker.

 

[ItsBarbarino]

Having a moochador isnt about holding out on your friends.. or denying them your choicest smokes... If one of my buds or my FIL expressed an interest in CC's.. or acted like they really wanted to try something super premium... I'd have no problem opening up the cabinet and letting them take a shot at anything they like... I've sent far better smokes to people Ive never seen, met, or even interacted with more than once or twice on a forum board... I certainly wouldnt intentionally deny people that I consider to be close friends and family..

the moochador is about practicality... and not giving your bud an aged lusitania (or letting him grab it out of your humidor, having no understanding or knowledge of what it is in the first place) knowing on the front end he will not appreciate it any more than the Illusione Rothschild you were going to select for him.. and that he is going to put it out about 1/2 through because he wasnt prepared for a 2+ hour long smoke...

Well said sir, couldn't agree more.

 

[mdwest]

I don't smoke HTF in front of friends that don't know better. It is silly.

^^^ This ^^^^

When I open up the desktop (I've got a 100 count desktop that I use as the "moochador") for guests.... I smoke out of it too.... Im not going to tell them "pick anything you like".. then go unlock my cabinet and grab something out of there while they rummage around in the 100 count..

Since everything in there is something I like (currently loaded up with diesel shortys, illusione rothschilds, some MoW virtue, a few padron londres, some ramon bueso genesis, 5 vegas classic and maduros.. and a few other odds and ends in there.. I grab something out of there as well... and we all smoke from the same "stash"...

When going somewhere to smoke.. I typically try to pick something appropriate for the occasion and the smoker... if Im heading off to meet someone I know smokes and is really into the hobby.. I'll usually reach into the cabinet and try to find something special.. if Im headed over to a buds house that doesnt really smoke, but would enjoy a nice cigar after we grill out some burgers.. I normally reach into the 100 count and grab something I think we'll both enjoy (but wont get thrown away, put down, abused, etc... can easily be replaced.. and wont cost me $25 in the process...)...

 

[jrtaster]

Difficult to summarize the replies so far but I'll try: most of you WON'T open your humi/collection to guests YOU believe won't appreciate the higher-end stuff.
The point I was trying to make is that in a social situation where I am providing the sticks, for that evening, I will smoke exactly what is offered to my guests.
Second, if an expensive cigar is offered and a guy smokes it for 10 minutes and puts it out, so what?? When you gift someone anything you should have no regrets
about what they do with it. If I gift someone with a $ 150 Hermes tie and he wears it with a suit from the 70's purchased at Robert Hall, my regret would last all
of a nano-second. Once I pass something to another person my control over it is gone!
My steak to hamburger example was probably a poor one: how about my grilling a prime steak for myself and a choice steak for a guest 'cause I don't think he can
appreciate a difference?
Finally, if we provide a friend with a lesser choice, can we wonder if he never develops a taste for the cigars WE believe are "better?"
Of course, this all comes from a guy whose humidor doesn't contain a cigar worth over $10. So it's no big sacrifice for me to provide my friends with EXACTLY the
same cigar I'm smoking. If I'm not willing to do that I wouldn't offer a guest anything... it would be a cigar-less encounter.
I am intrigued by all your responses... very interesting. Thanks!!

 

[Cigary43]

After one too many Ligas got burnt a third of the way through in a few minutes then left on a table, I stopped handing out good stuff.

To use the previous analogy, I wouldn't eat a steak while giving my guests hamburger, but that's because my guests know the difference. Their kids (and mine) get hamburger though, and most kids prefer hamburger.

Same thing goes for cigars. If it's someone I know appreciates cigars, my humi is theirs. If it's someone I know is going to smoke less then half and leave it, they get a cheapie. If it's a new guy, I give them a stick I appreciated as a new guy. Not only will a new guy probably not appreciate a full-bodied Tatuaje, he probably won't even like it. He might love the Perdomo 10th Champaign.

100% in agreement here. It's not about being cheap in offering a cigar to friends or acquaintances but sometimes people don't have the ability to appreciate a very good cigars even though they may smoke them occasionally. Case in point...giving an Opus X Reserve to a friend who smoked it down halfway and then walked off from it w/o saying if it was good or anything...just left it in the ash tray while I smoke mine as I wasn't going to leave it. Just because a cigar has a great reputation doesn't really mean a whole lot to somebody who doesn't have the experience or knowledge about it. I do have humidors with a good profile as far as taste and will give those out because they were good enough for me and good enough for anybody but as far as giving out a premium to somebody who doesn't have the appreciation for it...no and it doesnt have anything to do with how much I like that person or not. I won't give an ultra premium to my best friend if he doesn't have the proper experience for it just like I won't lend my new BMW to anybody who lacks experience with a clutch when they have been driving an automatic 8 year old Hyundai.

 

[javajunkie]

the general consensus that i get is, we do not by and large allow guests free reign over our entire house, including our stashes, but sharing cigars is part of what we do. i cannot think of a person here who wouldn't LOVE to turn one of their friends or family members on in a BIG way. but the choice to be actively interested in cigars (or booze, coffee, high quality cuisine, cars, anything) HAS to be theirs. if they smoke to enjoy it, well and cool, but if they are actively trying to learn, it is a different matter. when they do choose to show active interest, game on.

on my side, i keep a stash set aside simply because my people give me shit about my generosity. i don't want to come off as overbearing. if i continually broke out two- and three-band sticks with obscure origins that were well past the primary market, my guys would kill me. so i share my regular production stuff, that i also like. undercrown, fuente magR or hemmi, tat red or brown (7th reserva, for example), padron thousands, oliva V, that kind of thing. i don't want it to be a pissing contest, and i don't want my guys to feel obliged to me, i just want to spend time and share the experience.

 

[rdomfoto]

the general consensus that i get is, we do not by and large allow guests free reign over our entire house, including our stashes, but sharing cigars is part of what we do. i cannot think of a person here who wouldn't LOVE to turn one of their friends or family members on in a BIG way. but the choice to be actively interested in cigars (or booze, coffee, high quality cuisine, cars, anything) HAS to be theirs. if they smoke to enjoy it, well and cool, but if they are actively trying to learn, it is a different matter. when they do choose to show active interest, game on.

on my side, i keep a stash set aside simply because my people give me shit about my generosity. i don't want to come off as overbearing. if i continually broke out two- and three-band sticks with obscure origins that were well past the primary market, my guys would kill me. so i share my regular production stuff, that i also like. undercrown, fuente magR or hemmi, tat red or brown (7th reserva, for example), padron thousands, oliva V, that kind of thing. i don't want it to be a pissing contest, and i don't want my guys to feel obliged to me, i just want to spend time and share the experience.

^^ This

 

[Ducttapegonewild]

After one too many Ligas got burnt a third of the way through in a few minutes then left on a table, I stopped handing out good stuff.

To use the previous analogy, I wouldn't eat a steak while giving my guests hamburger, but that's because my guests know the difference. Their kids (and mine) get hamburger though, and most kids prefer hamburger.

Same thing goes for cigars. If it's someone I know appreciates cigars, my humi is theirs. If it's someone I know is going to smoke less then half and leave it, they get a cheapie. If it's a new guy, I give them a stick I appreciated as a new guy. Not only will a new guy probably not appreciate a full-bodied Tatuaje, he probably won't even like it. He might love the Perdomo 10th Champaign.

100% in agreement here. It's not about being cheap in offering a cigar to friends or acquaintances but sometimes people don't have the ability to appreciate a very good cigars even though they may smoke them occasionally. Case in point...giving an Opus X Reserve to a friend who smoked it down halfway and then walked off from it w/o saying if it was good or anything...just left it in the ash tray while I smoke mine as I wasn't going to leave it. Just because a cigar has a great reputation doesn't really mean a whole lot to somebody who doesn't have the experience or knowledge about it. I do have humidors with a good profile as far as taste and will give those out because they were good enough for me and good enough for anybody but as far as giving out a premium to somebody who doesn't have the appreciation for it...no and it doesnt have anything to do with how much I like that person or not. I won't give an ultra premium to my best friend if he doesn't have the proper experience for it just like I won't lend my new BMW to anybody who lacks experience with a clutch when they have been driving an automatic 8 year old Hyundai.

I think this is the best way I've heard it described. Most here are seasoned smokers, I'd be happy to share my ultra premiums (Bugatti Veyron) with any here. I'd be happy to share my premiums (BMW, Mercedes) with those who have more "refined" tastes. I'd be happy to share my good smokes (Chevrolet, Ford) with those that do it annually, or less often. I'm not going to let someone who's never driven drive my Bugatti. I will let them drive the Ford or Chevy

Side note, I really don't have those cars.

 

[sean]

If it's someone I know appreciates cigars, my humi is theirs. If it's someone I know is going to smoke less then half and leave it, they get a cheapie. If it's a new guy, I give them a stick I appreciated as a new guy. Not only will a new guy probably not appreciate a full-bodied Tatuaje, he probably won't even like it. He might love the Perdomo 10th Champaign.

This.

...And I also will pull 3-5 cigars and give the amateur or newbie smoker a little description of each to help empower them to make a selection that they feel will most suit them.

 

[jritman77]

Difficult to summarize the replies so far but I'll try: most of you WON'T open your humi/collection to guests YOU believe won't appreciate the higher-end stuff.
The point I was trying to make is that in a social situation where I am providing the sticks, for that evening, I will smoke exactly what is offered to my guests.
Second, if an expensive cigar is offered and a guy smokes it for 10 minutes and puts it out, so what?? When you gift someone anything you should have no regrets
about what they do with it. If I gift someone with a $ 150 Hermes tie and he wears it with a suit from the 70's purchased at Robert Hall, my regret would last all
of a nano-second. Once I pass something to another person my control over it is gone!
My steak to hamburger example was probably a poor one: how about my grilling a prime steak for myself and a choice steak for a guest 'cause I don't think he can
appreciate a difference?
Finally, if we provide a friend with a lesser choice, can we wonder if he never develops a taste for the cigars WE believe are "better?"
Of course, this all comes from a guy whose humidor doesn't contain a cigar worth over $10. So it's no big sacrifice for me to provide my friends with EXACTLY the
same cigar I'm smoking. If I'm not willing to do that I wouldn't offer a guest anything... it would be a cigar-less encounter.
I am intrigued by all your responses... very interesting. Thanks!!

I am the same way. If I am going to an event where I am supplying the cigars, which I usually do, I'm at home the cigars with the smokers but always smoke from the same batch. If I am smoking with my buddies who smoke with me regularly, we all smoke good stuff. If I am going to a cookout where I do not know many of the people, or if they like cigars, we will all smoke the same good sticks under 5 bucks. I don't hide good cigars in my pocket and pass out dog rockets. I just really hate seeing these people smoke an Opus X for 10 minutes then toss it because it is too strong. I'd rather give them a Holts Dominican bundle or Perdomo Champagne that is mild enough they will enjoy.

 

[Senor Perfecto]

I handed a Tattoo to a non-smoker this past weekend who doesn't smoke regularly, but wanted to take part. He smoked it for literally 1/2 inch and pitched it. This is what good $5 sticks are for. But they are also for enjoying by me. Keep a cab of Tattoos, or Rothchildes or what have you on hand so you don't have to potentially waste something special. Then if that person becomes a more regular smoker, everything in my humi is open to them.

I think the wine example above is off a little. The more apt analogy would not be a less competent wine drinker -- it would be a non-drinker. Also, you can share a small sip of good wine with somebody and see if they like it. Once you hand someone a cigar, though, that's it.

Nothing wrong with having a supply of good cheaper sticks on hand. If I smoke them, I'll never feel guilty about sharing them with non-herfers.

 

[rdomfoto]

I handed a Tattoo to a non-smoker this past weekend who doesn't smoke regularly, but wanted to take part. He smoked it for literally 1/2 inch and pitched it. This is what good $5 sticks are for. But they are also for enjoying by me. Keep a cab of Tattoos, or Rothchildes or what have you on hand so you don't have to potentially waste something special. Then if that person becomes a more regular smoker, everything in my humi is open to them.

I think the wine example above is off a little. The more apt analogy would not be a less competent wine drinker -- it would be a non-drinker. Also, you can share a small sip of good wine with somebody and see if they like it. Once you hand someone a cigar, though, that's it.

Nothing wrong with having a supply of good cheaper sticks on hand. If I smoke them, I'll never feel guilty about sharing them with non-herfers.

Good point. And the sticks that I have as part of my mooch-a-dor are certainly not dog rockets. But it really comes down to using my best judgement in each and every situation. I don't think there's a set "policy" that I could have (or should) that would cover every scenario.

 

[Senor Perfecto]

Good point. And the sticks that I have as part of my mooch-a-dor are certainly not dog rockets. But it really comes down to using my best judgement in each and every situation. I don't think there's a set "policy" that I could have (or should) that would cover every scenario.

Right. At a friend's bachelor party last year I though I'd bring a box of something. Bought some nice Jaime Garcias, not knowing how many dudes there would be or who would smoke.

Long story short, only me (4 out of the box in 2 days) and one other guy smoked, leaving 20 in the box. Brought them to the wedding reception, and out they all went to fathers and groomsmen and guests. Almost all of them smoked by drunk celebrants. I think the drunker the non-herfer, the more likely they will enjoy the whole thing

 

[Hoshneer]

I am pretty sure I can smoke out of all your moochadors all day long and grin like a bastard. I love most good $5 sticks. Diesels - Man Of War. Yummy.

 

[rdomfoto]

I am pretty sure I can smoke out of all your moochadors all day long and grin like a bastard. I love most good $5 sticks. Diesels - Man Of War. Yummy.

I would hope you could. I won't intentionally serve a bad cigar.

 

[Hoshneer]

Yeah, I think when people think moochadors they automatically think Ron Mexico. All good sticks in most of our moochadors.

 

[StogieNinja]

Finally, if we provide a friend with a lesser choice, can we wonder if he never develops a taste for the cigars WE believe are "better?"

You don't generally introduce someone who's never drank alcohol before to Ardbeg scotch. That doesn't mean he won't develop a taste for it, but something that strong is likely to turn a guy off to scotch all together (unless peer pressure keeps him drinking it until his palate has developed). Same thing with cigars.

My brother-in-law could have anything of mine. I mean anything at all. All he has to do is ask, and I'd give him anything, because I love the guy. I will not give him any of my Tat reservas. I won't share a My Father LB with him. It's not that I'm being stingy with the good stuff, its simply that he doesn't appreciate it. Right now, he's enjoying mild CCs, and generally in the petite corona size. Last year, he could only do really mild connies, even most CCs were too bold. His older brother is a couple years ahead of him, and drinks my scotch and smokes my dark cigars. Two years ago, he was where his little brother is now. They're both coming along nicely.


Most don't start off loving really peaty scotch, or full-bodied Tatuajes. You have to start somewhere, but the best place to start is with simpler. Rather than letting a noob choosing for himself grab a Pepin, smoke a third, choke on the pepper blast, and never want to try a cigar again, I find it much better to guide his choice. Ask what kind of alcohol and beer they like, get an idea of what their palate is like, and make an educated recommendation. Far from being stingy, it's doing them a service, and it's going to help ensure their first experience with a cigar is a good one, and make them more likely to want to develop a palate for it. In subsequent visits, let them try progressively better, more complex, and -if their palate desires- bolder cigars.

 

[Cardinal]

Lots of great explanations here on thought process. I especially like the father-in-law example, because my FIL is the same way exactly. He hadn't smoked a cigar in 30 years up until a year or two ago, and now we enjoy a one or two every time we get together and those are some of my best memories with him. Like many rare- or non-smokers he likes Connecticuts, so I keep a good stash for him and my other buddies who smoke a couple cigars a year. Everything in my humidor is fair game to any of my friends or family (minus a little box in the wineador that I have set aside for long-term aging), but for guys who don't know what they're looking at I just steer them towards something milder. I used to smoke the same thing as my guests every time, but now I just pick something I want to smoke, describe it to them, and let them choose that one for themselves, or something milder. They usually go mild though.

For the guys who smoke and can handle beefier fare, they can roll through everything and pick out whatever they want.

 

[herfdog]

I try to supply something they will enjoy. Now, same as hard liquor. Some people prefer Jack Daniel's to good whiskey or scotch. Some people like less refined cigars. Some even prefer infused ones.

I think cigars are a social occasion. I will smoke the same as they will no matter what it is; but I do prefer serving the better ones to those who will enjoy them. Its also more fun to smoke good cigars with someone who can appreciate it.

Theres a quote I read once that goes about like that

"Take the best cigar in the world. Good draw. Good flavors.

Smoke it with a jerk and he will ruin it"

There is no point of drinking your best scotch with someone who will say its not as good as Jack Daniel's. There is no point in smoking your best cigar with someone who doesnt like them.

Newbies that want to try: I'll try good smokes with them. If they're willing.
Cigars aren't for everyone so if I can find a smoking buddy; I'll be happy about it

 

[Zz_JC_zZ]

"Take the best cigar in the world. Good draw. Good flavors.

Smoke it with a jerk and he will ruin it"

Great quote. Couldn't be more true.