Fitting in

[mistaforty]

I don't even feel new lol...

 

[Smoqman]

As to Brotherhood:

"Remember that every man is a variation of yourself"

William Saroyan



I've met quite a few people here, even if only "virtually". And each of you have reminded me of something so important: That there are strengths and weaknesses in every man - and if we just follow the example of others strengths - we do (with less effort) continue to evolve, and become "better men".




Joel
CRA Member# 99977267

 

[Hoshneer]

As to Brotherhood:

"Remember that every man is a variation of yourself"

William Saroyan



I've met quite a few people here, even if only "virtually". And each of you have reminded me of something so important: That there are strengths and weaknesses in every man - and if we just follow the example of others strengths - we do (with less effort) continue to evolve, and become "better men".




Joel
CRA Member# 99977267

That is a very good point bro.

 

[Speedbump]

Respect is earned not given

And someone I respect a great deal said to me one day "integrity is what you have in a room with no lights on "

 

[StogieNinja]

...do we seem to maybe sometimes hold an unreasonably high standard? maybe...

I don't think the brotherhood here does have an "unreasonable" high standard, and I think anyone who observes what happens here should be able to see that. I've been here for about a year and a half, and am not hugely active... under two posts per day. So I've watched a lot, and really the standard isn't high at all. In fact, to me it seems very, very simple:

1. Be respectful to all, follow the golden rule
2. Ask not what the brotherhood can do for you, but what you can do for the brotherhood
3. Pay it forward.

Really, not a difficult or unreasonable standard at all. If you want to join any kind of fraternal organization, you're asked show how you can contribute before you're given the keys. Folks who come here to profiteer are ignored or called out. That's for the good of the order. New guys who expect to be treated the same as those who have spent years contributing to the community here are corrected. That's for the good of the order. And more than occasionally, the FOGs pay it forward even to the very newest of the new without any thought to anything but trying to draw another brother into the fold. That's just awesome.

Sure there are occasional disagreements and spats even among the brothers, but that's to be expected among brothers. Still, when it happens, other brothers step in, try to help give perspective, and everyone goes on about their business, still enjoying being part of this community. Those who leave typically are just unwilling to put forth the effort that being part of a brotherhood requires, which I think would include both not taking offense quickly, as well as giving the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.

 

[ENV]

...do we seem to maybe sometimes hold an unreasonably high standard? maybe...

I don't think the brotherhood here does have an "unreasonable" high standard, and I think anyone who observes what happens here should be able to see that. I've been here for about a year and a half, and am not hugely active... under two posts per day. So I've watched a lot and tried not to say too much, and really the standard isn't high at all. In fact, to me it seems very, very simple:

1. Be respectful and follow the golden rule
2. Ask not what the brotherhood can do for you, but what you can do for the brotherhood
3. Pay it forward.

Really, not a difficult or unreasonable standard at all. Folks who come here to profiteer are ignored or called out. New guys who expect to be treated the same as those who have spent years contributing to the community here are corrected. And more than occasionally, the FOGs pay it forward even to the very newest of the new without any thought to anything but trying to draw another brother into the fold.

Sure there are occasional disagreements and spats, but that's to be expected among brothers. Still, when it happens, other brothers step in, try to help give perspective, and everyone goes on about their business, still enjoying being part of this community. Those who leave typically are just unwilling to put forth the effort that being part of a brotherhood requires, whether that's helping out or just showing common courtesy (which, I think, would include giving the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise).

Well said!

 

[Donk]

This has been an interesting read, It seems this too seems to pop up every couple of years. I remember the last time this happened when there was a large amount of newbies all hitting memebers up for hard to find Fuentes and looking for freebies and Cuban sources. I remember the same feeling of the brothers coming together and "circling the wagons" for the protection of the forum.
It's real simple the guys or gals that join a forum for freebies and other stuff always seem to not last very long around here. The brothers take care of their own and do a good job of it.
I do have to say that when I first started on this forum I made rookie mistakes and probably pissed a few FOGs off, But thats is part of being new, you appologize for your errors and send a few bombs, and try to work at becoming a good standing member. Learn as much as you can, help as much as you can and give what you can. That is why we are here we all have the same love for the leaf!

 

[mdwest]

Respect is earned not given

And someone I respect a great deal said to me one day "integrity is what you have in a room with no lights on "

“The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.” - John Wooden

Same idea/concept though..

 

[AlohaStyle]

Respect is earned not given

And someone I respect a great deal said to me one day "integrity is what you have in a room with no lights on "

“The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.” - John Wooden

Same idea/concept though..

There could be a joke with those two comments. Wait, does that say something about my character?? :innocent:

 

[Smoqman]

“The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.” - John Wooden

Same idea/concept though..

AMEN.


Joel
CRA Member# 99977267

 

[ar2381]

Respect is earned not given

And someone I respect a great deal said to me one day "integrity is what you have in a room with no lights on "

I've always believed in the idea of you should respect everyone, until a person gives you a reason not respect them than there is no reason to think they have to earn it. I am a relatively new member of this forum. I joined after hearing from other people who go to the same B&M that it was a lot of fun, informative, and brotherly. I've noticed that often at times on this forum lately that there is often a turf war as some members don't like people joining just to get free cigars, HTF stuff, or sell their cigars. I understand the fear in having people join for only those reasons, but it's difficult sometimes to ascertain a person's movites. We should assume and expect the best in people. If you feel after a good amount of time that someone has questionable motives then you can start to question them, but don't don't assume too early. I do quite a bit of the PIF as I think their fun, and I try to send people cigars they probably haven't tried before or that I think are really good. I also enjoy receiving cigars that I haven't tried before, or something I really like but don't have. I appreciate other peoples' generosity, and only hope that I profvide the same. I also enjoy the cigar discussions we have this forum as I've learned a lot that I previously did not know. In the future, I hope to go on the BOTL Cigar Safari to get to know people better, and have fun. For now, hopefully I can meet some of you at HERFs, or hopefully right before some of you leave right before you leave for Nicaragua since I live in South Florida.

 

[Smoqman]

Respect is earned not given

And someone I respect a great deal said to me one day "integrity is what you have in a room with no lights on "

I've always believed in the idea of you should respect everyone, until a person gives you a reason not respect them than there is no reason to think they have to earn it. I am a relatively new member of this forum. I joined after hearing from other people who go to the same B&M that it was a lot of fun, informative, and brotherly. I've noticed that often at times on this forum lately that there is often a turf war as some members don't like people joining just to get free cigars, HTF stuff, or sell their cigars. I understand the fear in having people join for only those reasons, but it's difficult sometimes to ascertain a person's movites. We should assume and expect the best in people. If you feel after a good amount of time that someone has questionable motives then you can start to question them, but don't don't assume too early. I do quite a bit of the PIF as I think their fun, and I try to send people cigars they probably haven't tried before. I also enjoy receiving cigars that I haven't tried before, or something I really like but don't have. I appreciate other peoples' generosity, and only hope that I profvide the same. I also enjoy the cigar discussions we have this forum as I've learned a lot that I previously did not know. In the future, I hope to go on the BOTL Cigar Safari to get to know people better, and have fun. For now, hopefully I can meet some of you at HERFs, or hopefully right before some of you leave right before you leave for Nicaragua since I live in South Florida.

Great post.

Believe in the goodness of everyone until they give you reason not to; then focus on those whose goodness is yet to be disproven.

Works for me and keeps me happy, positive and very, very grateful.


Joel
CRA Member# 99977267

 

[thejavaman]

...do we seem to maybe sometimes hold an unreasonably high standard? maybe...

I don't think the brotherhood here does have an "unreasonable" high standard, and I think anyone who observes what happens here should be able to see that. I've been here for about a year and a half, and am not hugely active... under two posts per day. So I've watched a lot, and really the standard isn't high at all. In fact, to me it seems very, very simple:

1. Be respectful to all, follow the golden rule
2. Ask not what the brotherhood can do for you, but what you can do for the brotherhood
3. Pay it forward.

Really, not a difficult or unreasonable standard at all. If you want to join any kind of fraternal organization, you're asked show how you can contribute before you're given the keys. Folks who come here to profiteer are ignored or called out. That's for the good of the order. New guys who expect to be treated the same as those who have spent years contributing to the community here are corrected. That's for the good of the order. And more than occasionally, the FOGs pay it forward even to the very newest of the new without any thought to anything but trying to draw another brother into the fold. That's just awesome.

Sure there are occasional disagreements and spats even among the brothers, but that's to be expected among brothers. Still, when it happens, other brothers step in, try to help give perspective, and everyone goes on about their business, still enjoying being part of this community. Those who leave typically are just unwilling to put forth the effort that being part of a brotherhood requires, which I think would include both not taking offense quickly, as well as giving the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.

This post should have its own sticky! Well said, bro!

 

[Hoshneer]

I agree, great insight in this.

 

[Hendy]

Craig, well said Sir.

I haven't been very active in some time. It got to a point that I had people PM'ing me looking for sticks that I had taken pictures of but never expressed letting go. Kinda gave me an impression that things were just not the same as they used to be.

I used to look forward to waking up every morning to answer posts and slap my fellow brothers around. Now, not so much due to most of those folks doing the same thing I did (dropped off the planet).

Now it seems to me that the site, though going through some rough times lately, is making its evolutional change back to the place we all knew/know and love. I'm very excited about that.

So, in closing. Thanks for this thread. I think it was well written and long overdue. I look forward to meeting new faces and peoples in our Family.

Also, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish all Our Family a safe and Happy Holiday Season.


God Bless the Brotherhood of the Leaf. And that Beerfora place too (lol-E)

Hendy


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[rdomfoto]

I've been here for, I dunno, a week? Yeah, a week today (happy anniversary to me!)

However, my first email address was 23 years ago and I've been on the webz and networks for almost 27 (I counted the other day because, well, I'm a nerd) and I've seen a lot of forums and bulletin boards in that time. What attracted me to BOTL immediately was the lack of condescension by long-time members and the overwhelming sense of welcome I felt after posting in the introductions forum. So, first of all, let me again say "thanks" and a "job well done" to the brotherhood.

A member gets out of a forum or board what (s)he is willing to put in and there will always be the 'what is in it for me' crowd. They will join and, when they learn that participation is required, they will leave. And us n00bs are always excited when we find a new community and we'll post a lot. For me, success in an online community has come from being willing to engage and not try to talk about shit that I don't know about. When on a specialty site (like BOTL) it would become apparent very quickly if I was talking out of ignorance. I can talk intelligently (I think) about food and booze, cooking, photography, but am way out of my league when it comes to cigars and it would show if I tried to pass myself off as knowledgeable. In fact, when I say that "________ is the best cigar I've ever had", that really doesn't mean a lot coming from me and my incredibly limited experience.

So, yeah, humbly acknowledging that you don't know what you don't know is the key to any forum.

I am here to learn and, from what I've seen here, everyone who is here for a community experience is willing to help and teach.

Last thought - if you think there has been vitriol and arrogance and trolling here, I invite you to join any randomly selected photography forum! Many of my people really seem to be dickheads. :-D

Cheers, brothers!

 

[NCost]

Great post Craig. I also believe it was justly posted (not that it matters), and needed.

I belong to many forums, mostly motorcycle and photography related, and I can confirm the trolling and untrustworthy folks on the photography ones especially are so common. Here though, I feel like it is a community. Even though I don't post or bomb as much as I used to (due to varying circumstances) I always feel welcome. Kudos to the long standing members for keeping it that way.

 

[smokemifugotem]

Respect is earned not given

And someone I respect a great deal said to me one day "integrity is what you have in a room with no lights on "

Last time I ask this...if you quote me please use my name so people can remember my legacy

 

[Speedbump]

Respect is earned not given

And someone I respect a great deal said to me one day "integrity is what you have in a room with no lights on "

Last time I ask this...if you quote me please use my name so people can remember my legacy

Sorry Rich

 

[smokemifugotem]

You spelled rediciously good looking bearded mr awesomeness wrong