Let's Talk, BOTL and mental health

[HillbillyPyro]

Sorry to hear this. My ex and I lived in our house for almost a year before we managed to sell it. For both of us, it was a matter of finances. Well, for me, it was. We were getting along quite well in separate rooms and under one roof - she had it all: she could date other guys and I was there to work on the house and fix stuff.

Yup, it was heaven for her… Until *I* started dating. Then it went to shit. Turns out she had/has undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD is an awesome thing to try to extricate yourself from.

Hang in there, brother.

Yeah I'm doing a lot of hanging lol sorry. That's all my mind would think of. But seriously. For the most part I'm doing ok. The end of last week was rough so i let loose in here. After she left the house it was good after that.

 

[stukibuilt]

Sorry to hear this. My ex and I lived in our house for almost a year before we managed to sell it. For both of us, it was a matter of finances. Well, for me, it was. We were getting along quite well in separate rooms and under one roof - she had it all: she could date other guys and I was there to work on the house and fix stuff.

Yup, it was heaven for her… Until *I* started dating. Then it went to shit. Turns out she had/has undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD is an awesome thing to try to extricate yourself from.

Hang in there, brother.

As a mental health professional, kudos for hanging in through that with an ex-wife who has Borderline Personality Disorder... Classic "I hate you, don't leave me!" I can imagine how brutal that was as I've worked with several clients dealing with that diagnosis... It gets nasty if it is indeed BPD... None of which I would want to share my home with...

 

[rdomfoto]

Thanks. Yeah, according to the DSM, there are nine traits of BDP and, to be diagnosed, you have to display five of them regularly. She showed seven on a regular and consistent basis. It wasn't until a couple of years ago (when I no longer needed such a thing) that the authors of "Stop Walking on Egg Shells" released a follow up book on how to leave a BPD.

But, like most situations like that, you don't realize how bad it is, but how bad it *was*.

 

[rdomfoto]

Sorry to hear this. My ex and I lived in our house for almost a year before we managed to sell it. For both of us, it was a matter of finances. Well, for me, it was. We were getting along quite well in separate rooms and under one roof - she had it all: she could date other guys and I was there to work on the house and fix stuff.

Yup, it was heaven for her… Until *I* started dating. Then it went to shit. Turns out she had/has undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD is an awesome thing to try to extricate yourself from.

Hang in there, brother.

Yeah I'm doing a lot of hanging lol sorry. That's all my mind would think of. But seriously. For the most part I'm doing ok. The end of last week was rough so i let loose in here. After she left the house it was good after that.

That's one of the great things about BOTL: it can be a place to rant/vent when needed. Sometimes you just need to get it out

 

[HillbillyPyro]

Sorry to hear this. My ex and I lived in our house for almost a year before we managed to sell it. For both of us, it was a matter of finances. Well, for me, it was. We were getting along quite well in separate rooms and under one roof - she had it all: she could date other guys and I was there to work on the house and fix stuff.

Yup, it was heaven for her… Until *I* started dating. Then it went to shit. Turns out she had/has undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD is an awesome thing to try to extricate yourself from.

Hang in there, brother.

Yeah I'm doing a lot of hanging lol sorry. That's all my mind would think of. But seriously. For the most part I'm doing ok. The end of last week was rough so i let loose in here. After she left the house it was good after that.

That's one of the great things about BOTL: it can be a place to rant/vent when needed. Sometimes you just need to get it out

And its been awesome so far!
She mentioned today that she's moving to her parents in a couple weeks. HELL YEAH! I never thought that would happen. Apparently last week was the last straw for her too.

 

[stukibuilt]

Sorry to hear this. My ex and I lived in our house for almost a year before we managed to sell it. For both of us, it was a matter of finances. Well, for me, it was. We were getting along quite well in separate rooms and under one roof - she had it all: she could date other guys and I was there to work on the house and fix stuff.

Yup, it was heaven for her… Until *I* started dating. Then it went to shit. Turns out she had/has undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD is an awesome thing to try to extricate yourself from.

Hang in there, brother.

Yeah I'm doing a lot of hanging lol sorry. That's all my mind would think of. But seriously. For the most part I'm doing ok. The end of last week was rough so i let loose in here. After she left the house it was good after that.

That's one of the great things about BOTL: it can be a place to rant/vent when needed. Sometimes you just need to get it out

And its been awesome so far!
She mentioned today that she's moving to her parents in a couple weeks. HELL YEAH! I never thought that would happen. Apparently last week was the last straw for her too.

That's great bro! Keep your guard up though... There is a distinct possibility that this is a manipulation considering what you've already shared... I sincerely hope not, but you have a lot on the line. It would be a great opportunity to demonstrate how well you can care for and support your children.

 

[HillbillyPyro]

Sorry to hear this. My ex and I lived in our house for almost a year before we managed to sell it. For both of us, it was a matter of finances. Well, for me, it was. We were getting along quite well in separate rooms and under one roof - she had it all: she could date other guys and I was there to work on the house and fix stuff.

Yup, it was heaven for her… Until *I* started dating. Then it went to shit. Turns out she had/has undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD is an awesome thing to try to extricate yourself from.

Hang in there, brother.

Yeah I'm doing a lot of hanging lol sorry. That's all my mind would think of. But seriously. For the most part I'm doing ok. The end of last week was rough so i let loose in here. After she left the house it was good after that.

That's one of the great things about BOTL: it can be a place to rant/vent when needed. Sometimes you just need to get it out

And its been awesome so far!
She mentioned today that she's moving to her parents in a couple weeks. HELL YEAH! I never thought that would happen. Apparently last week was the last straw for her too.

That's great bro! Keep your guard up though... There is a distinct possibility that this is a manipulation considering what you've already shared... I sincerely hope not, but you have a lot on the line. It would be a great opportunity to demonstrate how well you can care for and support your children.

I should be good. As long as i can keep calm. Although I do wonder what she may be up to

 

[BrittS88]

I've never posted in this thread except to offer support. But I hit a rough spot and I really don't have any ways to vent. So I thought I'd post. At the beginning of January I was offered a job by Bank of America. I accepted and left amazon. I started unpaid training with Bank of America on the 8th of January and was supposed to start work on February 3rd. Yesterday afternoon I received a call saying that some one with a years more experience applied for the position so they were going with them and I would not be finishing my training or start work with Bank of America. So basically I quit my job for nothing. I went back to amazon but due to me quitting there is a 60 day period before I'd be eligible for rehire. Fuck me right?? Anyways thank you for reading while I vent.

 

[Tag9485]

I've never posted in this thread except to offer support. But I hit a rough spot and I really don't have any ways to vent. So I thought I'd post. At the beginning of January I was offered a job by Bank of America. I accepted and left amazon. I started unpaid training with Bank of America on the 8th of January and was supposed to start work on February 3rd. Yesterday afternoon I received a call saying that some one with a years more experience applied for the position so they were going with them and I would not be finishing my training or start work with Bank of America. So basically I quit my job for nothing. I went back to amazon but due to me quitting there is a 60 day period before I'd be eligible for rehire. Fuck me right?? Anyways thank you for reading while I vent.

Wow dude that is f-ing ridiculous! I thought there was a law that prevented this kinda shit. I would go all the way up the chain of their department voicing my displeasure. Did they say that you had the job back in January?

 

[bdc30]

No kidding. That's unreal - did you sign any kind of contract etc with them?

 

[BrittS88]

I've never posted in this thread except to offer support. But I hit a rough spot and I really don't have any ways to vent. So I thought I'd post. At the beginning of January I was offered a job by Bank of America. I accepted and left amazon. I started unpaid training with Bank of America on the 8th of January and was supposed to start work on February 3rd. Yesterday afternoon I received a call saying that some one with a years more experience applied for the position so they were going with them and I would not be finishing my training or start work with Bank of America. So basically I quit my job for nothing. I went back to amazon but due to me quitting there is a 60 day period before I'd be eligible for rehire. Fuck me right?? Anyways thank you for reading while I vent.

Wow dude that is f-ing ridiculous! I thought there was a law that prevented this kinda shit. I would go all the way up the chain of their department voicing my displeasure. Did they say that you had the job back in January?

I was told the job was mine pending successful completion of training. As in if I couldn't learn the systems then I wouldn't be hired. But that was it. And I even have a stupid fucking award from their training course for "advanced knowledge and
Comprehension". Worthless ass company.

 

[BrittS88]

No kidding. That's unreal - did you sign any kind of contract etc with them?

No. Didn't sign anything. After the interview I got my finger prints done filled out all my tax paperwork and started training. But never signed anything.

 

[Tag9485]

Being that your technically not a former employee, I'd repot their ass to the Better Business Bureau. What kind of company does that to a person?

 

[rdomfoto]

That does totally suck, brother!

Arizona is an "at will" employment state so as long as they didn't terminate your training/employment for any illegal reasons...

But Amazon is taking you back?

 

[BrittS88]

That does totally suck, brother!

Arizona is an "at will" employment state so as long as they didn't terminate your training/employment for any illegal reasons...

But Amazon is taking you back?

They basically said because I quit I am required to wait 60 days and then I can reapply. But there is no guarantee. Especially cause my boss told me they already filled my old spot.

 

[problemsolverjc]

I've never posted in this thread except to offer support. But I hit a rough spot and I really don't have any ways to vent. So I thought I'd post. At the beginning of January I was offered a job by Bank of America. I accepted and left amazon. I started unpaid training with Bank of America on the 8th of January and was supposed to start work on February 3rd. Yesterday afternoon I received a call saying that some one with a years more experience applied for the position so they were going with them and I would not be finishing my training or start work with Bank of America. So basically I quit my job for nothing. I went back to amazon but due to me quitting there is a 60 day period before I'd be eligible for rehire. Fuck me right?? Anyways thank you for reading while I vent.

Britt, that sucks! I've been there, happened to me about 10 years ago!! Hang in there... something will either come along better or Amazon will let you back in! That really sucks!!!

 

[Heath]

That really sucks man! I am sorry to hear about that.
This may not be an ideal solution but do you have any local staffing agencies around you? They might be able to get in work while your looking for a carrier. Hell they might find that too. I know a lot of companies in New Hampshire like to use staffing agencies rather than straight up hire because they get to "try before the buy"
I wish you luck in your job search and hope it is a quick one.

 

[Deathskin]

The local agencies are the only way to get your foot in the door if u went straight to the employer to apply they tell u to go to a staffing agency that handles the application process

 

[jmartins]

That is rough Brit. I am sure it will all work out. But BoA can't actually so what they did. It is actually am unethical act and failure in most terms of HR. You should file a complaint with them and at the very least even if you don't get the job you will make a lot more ppl aware of how they do business and bad PR is not what banks look for.

 

[HillbillyPyro]

Britts been a great friend lately and he's a great botl as well. I really appreciate him and respect him. You got my number bro!

On another note the ex is moving out this weekend. I'm freaking stoked, but at the same time this is gonna be hard. One she's moving far enough away that the oldest daughter will be changing schools. Which means I'll no longer be able to get her off the bus and spend the afternoon with her. Also won't get to see my other 2 during the week. I'm going to miss late night cuddling with them and tucking them in. I probably won't be on here much for the rest of the week. we are going through everything in the house and splitting it up the best we can without having to fight over anything in court.