Seinfeld Quotes

[caudio51]

I like this one, it applies to my field of work.

Kramer: It's a write off for them.
Jerry: How is it a write off?
Kramer: They just write it off.
Jerry: Write it off what?
Kramer: Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything.
Jerry: You don't even know what a write off is.
Kramer: Do you?
Jerry: No. I Don't.
Kramer: But they do. And they're the ones writing it off.

 

[cvm4]

:hysterica Gotta love when Kramer and Jerry start talking

 

[David]

I'm out!

 

[Greg]

"My Cubans!"

 

[AZsteelman]

I have to go see the baby. Have you seen the baby?

 

[AZsteelman]

They're real - and they're spectacular!

 

[AZsteelman]

No soup for you!

 

[AZsteelman]

Don't look at me, I'm hideous!

 

[Greg]

yada yada yada....

 

[AZsteelman]

You've yada yada'd sex?

 

[Headbanger]

"I was in the pool! I was in the pool!" George explaining to Jerry's GF his shrinkage problem.

 

[David]

"You're going to be the first pirate!"
- Kramer, to Jerry, in "The Puffy Shirt"

 

[David]

"What's in the big salad?"
"Big lettuce, big carrots, tomatoes like volleyballs."
- George and Jerry, in "The Big Salad"

 

[David]

"I think I would like to play with dolls."
- George, in "The Big Salad"

 

[David]

"So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified. But I pressed on, and as I made my way past the breakers a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things, but I tell you Jerry, at that moment I was a marine biologist."
- George, in "The Marine Biologist"

 

[David]

"The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."
- George, in "The Marine Biologist"

 

[Headbanger]

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur - Jerry

 

[Headbanger]

Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference between a date and a job interview is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it - Jerry

 

[Headbanger]

A bra is for ladies. Meet the Bro - Cosmo

After seeing my father's hooters I threw up all night. It was like my own personal Crying Game - George

It's like a sauna in here - Kramer (sitting in a sauna)

Did you see the way she pointed at the check? She just gave me the finger - George

Hi my name is George I'm unemployed and I live with my parents - George

 

[thebigo]

"It's Festivus for the rest of us"